Special Needs

Chapter 44: The Confession

Days felt like weeks and weeks felt like months and the nights felt like torture, leaving me absolutely alone and in the dark. I had no idea if or when Harry was ever coming back, despite what Dr. Blake had led me to believe.

I was in agony for several more days while he cleaned my wound and changed the bandages. While the physical pain gradually began to lessen, it was my heart that hurt more and more without knowing what had happened to Harry and where he was and if he was ever truly coming back. I had begun to convince myself that I could stay in this wretched place forever if only he would come back and be here with me. What could they possibly be doing with him?

Or to him?

Late one afternoon, I realized that I was extremely hungry so I went to the refrigerator and found that the fresh food was starting to spoil. I looked in the freezer and found frozen pizza. I unwrapped two and preheated the oven. I preheated the oven and found some juice that was still good and gulped it down. Water was getting old. I unwrapped the pizzas and soon noticed that the oven was smoking and small flames were licking the bottom of the interior.

"Dammit," I muttered. There had been a mess on the bottom of the oven for a while, remnants of my various cooking lessons with Harry as well as some run-of-the-mill mistakes. I had never really been the best cook. I had intended to clean the oven quite some time ago but now I'd have to wait for everything to cool down before I could open the oven since I didn't want to fill the house with smoke.

I tried to wrap the frozen pizzas back up as best I could and I pulled out some bread. Couldn't go wrong with good old peanut butter and jelly. I ate three sandwiches. And I had another glass of juice. And an apple. And then I scavenged for chocolate chips because dammit, I was craving chocolate and I deserved it.

After I had gorged myself on PBJ's, I decided to take a shower because I was smelling absolutely foul. I couldn't remember if I had even taken one since I'd been shot, and whether I'd changed my clothes. I couldn't remember when my period was coming and I realized I hadn't taken my birth control pills in a long time.

When I undressed in the bathroom, I practically gagged from my own stench. I remembered the bandage on my shoulder and had no idea how to shower with it on, so I just did my best to avoid soaking it as I scrubbed my filthy body. Rivers of brownish red ran down the drain as I washed away the dirt and blood from my body and I eventually discovered that my period had indeed arrived. That might have explained the intense desire for chocolate.

"Fucking wonderful," I muttered. After washing my hair and rinsing every bit of grime from my body, I actually felt a good bit better. A stomach full of food probably helped, too. I found my monthly supplies, set my birth control where I'd remember to take it and put on fresh clothes. I almost felt like a new woman.

I threw my dirty clothes in the trash and went back to my room. My bed was disgusting; the blood-stained sheets still adorned the bed and of course I'd been sleeping there in my own filth for who knows how long? I decided to leave it just like it was and go to Harry's room. But as I prepared to get in bed, I remembered the cameras.