Torn Between Dreams and Reality

CHAPTER 73 Confessions

CHAPTER 73 Confessions

**DRIC’S POV**

Now this is one of the moments in my life where I wanted to cry but no tears came out.  I just stared blankly in the space while feeling my heart break into pieces because this will be the end of my fight with Dwight.

The tiny bit of hope I held on for so long is finally burning into ashes.

I will set her free. It’s the hardest but I’ll do it the soonest.

I need to start doing things for my own because now I have to accept that not everything is about her. She has someone else to worry about and I have to think of my own good too. She can rely on me, as a friend, but I can’t rely my whole life on her anymore.

I am happy for her though. If she’s happy, I am.

One of the many things I learn from this is there’s nothing wrong in loving someone who doesn’t love you back, it’s inevitable and it really happens, and you don’t have to hold yourself back from loving that person, as long as that’s want you want, as long as they are worth you loving them, and as long as they deserve it, it is okay.

I’m letting Zoe go not because I stopped loving her. I still love her; it doesn’t fade right away so I just have to endure the pain until it’s there. But I have to do this to let her, with no guilt, love the person she truly loves. And give myself more worth.

I have to see this phase as a motivational thing to carry on with life. This has to give me strength and not suicidal thoughts. I have to get through this pain – the challenge of life.

(Wednesday)

“Dric,” tinawag ako ni Zoe pagkatapos namin mag-practice para sa play na next week na magaganap.

Ayoko pa syang harapin kaya pinagpatuloy ko ang paglalakad.

“Dric!” nilakasan nya ang pag-tawag. Hininto ko ang paglakad. “May problema ba?” Malamang nahahalata na nya na iniiwasan ko sya nitong mga nagdaang araw.

Alam kong kailangan ko ng sabihin sa kanya na tinatanggap ko na ang pagka-talo pero naduduwag parin ako. Kahit anong pilit at plano ko na kausapin sya, nauunahan ako ng takot. Takot dahil tuluyan na syang mawawala sa’kin.

Hinarap ko si Zoe na limang hakbang ang layo sa’kin. “Pwede bang ako ang maghatid sa’yo ngayon?”

She nodded and said, “wait for me at the car park, sasabihin ko lang kay Dwight.” Tapos tumakbo na sya.

Ginawa ko ang sinabi nya, hinintay ko sya sa carpark katabi ng motor ko. Dumating naman sya agad.

“Tara?” aya nya.

Sumakay ako sa motor at sumakay din sya sa likod ko, inabot ko yung spare helmet ko sa kanya at tsaka kami umalis.

Pagdating sa tapat ng bahay nila, bumaba na sya at sinoli sa’kin yung helmet. Nanatili akong nakasakay sa motor dahil hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko sisimulang sabihin ang dapat kong sabihin. At kung ngayon na nga ba ang tamang oras para sabihin ko o aalis na lang muna ako?

“Kain tayo sa loob,” pag-aya nya, “Daddy always asks me about you. Hindi ka na daw kasi nagpapakita.”

Isa pang kailangan kong ayusin ay yung sa pagitan namin ng Daddy nya. Kailangan kong linawin kay tito kung bakit hindi ko na liligawan ang anak nya.