Chapter five

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Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.

                                 Martin Luther King, Jr.

                              RUKKAYYA

                              RUKKAYYA

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I had the most uneasy night. I kept waking from my sleep. I got tired of staring in to the darkness then I decided to invest in a fruitful venture. I got up, performed ablution and prayed Istikhara.

After that I remained on the praying mat and prayed. I prayed for strength and courage because I felt like moving forward I would need it.  I fell into a peaceful sleep afterwards.

When I woke up at dawn to pray, I had only one thought on my mind. I knew exactly what I was going to do.

Truthfully, I had known from the moment Mummy spoke with me. Yes, I had made up my mind but my heart...well that was a little difficult to tame.

Interestingly enough, none of my parents mentioned the issue while I greeted them that morning. In fact it was just a regular day - If I didn't know better.

I had decided to visit Nana hoping she might be able to tame my stubborn heart. It was there that I confirmed my suspicions. Indeed Nana knew about the issue. The clown was even expecting my visit.

"Nana how did they come up with this idea?" I asked as I sat on the couch in her room.

"Does it matter?" She answered with a question. Typical Nigerian behaviour of using a question to answer another.

No. It didn't matter. I just didn't know how to translate my questions into sentences.

"I know what I must to do but Nana I have never been this afraid in my whole life! What if it goes wrong?"

"Rukky, there is nothing you 'must' do. You know they will never force you to do anything you don't want to!"

Nana was making it sound like I had a choice -maybe I had a choice - but I didn't feel that way.

I involuntarily dropped my head so that my chin rested on my laps.

Nana raised my chin upwards and said. "It will be okay, trust me!"

"How do you know? everyone I know married their own choice," I stated with a sigh.

"Do you know that I had always disliked Hashim?"

Hashim was her husband who had been a regular customer at her fashion house and then viola! They got married.

"What? Tell me about it!"

"See there was nothing particularly appealing about him. I didn't even like looking at his face. I had to try very hard to be nice to him, " Nana said before pausing to drink water.

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