TREASURES AND THORNS

Chapter two

"Don't grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form."

- Jalaluddin Rumi

AHMAD

It was an understatement to say I was exhausted. I was beyond sapped! Nothing had changed. It was the same old routine. Work. Work. Work. It was the only thing I was interested in doing ever since the incident. It was an excellent escape and a very important one at that. The only thing I looked forward to when I drove home was to crash in my bed. Luckily, I had already prayed Isha' prayer in the office. I only had to greet my mother then retire to my room or apartment because it was detached from the main house.

"Ahmad! Sannu da zuwa!" Mammy exclaimed when she saw me.

I pecked her on both cheeks before sitting right next to her on the sofa. She must have gotten tired of my late nights at the work because she eventually stopped complaining.

"How was work?" She asked simply but I saw the worry that masked her question undisguised in her eyes.

I forced a smile.

"Alhamdulillah Mammy! It was fine," I replied. "But I am exhausted Ma, I will just go to bed," I added.

"Without eating dinner?" She asked.

"No, I ate at work." That is if you consider a cup of poorly brewed tea - thanks to my new secretary - food but then I really wasn't hungry.

"Ahmad..." She called softly but I knew what she wanted to say.

"Jam Mammy!" I said as I kissed her cheek and left for my room. I immediately crashed on my bed but sleep refused to pay me a visit.

All I saw when I closed my eyes was her! God I never knew such a thing could happen in real life. In fact I never knew I loved her enough to be so tortured. She was everywhere I went and it was driving me insane. How pathetic had I become? She had given me immense joy and dragged me right through the doors of hell still there I was yearning for her, wanting and needing only her like a hopeless fool. The cure to my ailment, the key to my happiness. Oh how it hurt! It hurt so badly that I often wished I could rip my heart right out of my chest. It was too unbearable!

In the midst of my misery, I kept going over the whole events that lead her to make that rash decision. How had I offended her? Had I not shown her how much I cared? What could I have done wrong? Even though deep down I knew that I did no wrong. I couldn't help but blame myself over and over again. She was everything! It had to have been my fault. After tossing and turning for what seemed like an eternity. Sleep finally decided to bless my eyes.

The world would have considered me lucky. Yes I was blessed far more than I deserved. I was richer than the majority of my age mates. I had the most adorable family and friends. I really had all it took to be happy but that was not the case. I was miserable! Every day came with its horrors, How could I be happy? I knew too well that I was being an ungrateful fool but it was so hard to pull myself together despite my deceptive composure. I felt nothing like what my appearance suggested. I was just some little fool drowning in his shell with tears trickling down his cheeks.