TREASURES AND THORNS

Chapter eight

There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled.
There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled.
You feel it, don't you?
                                     Jalaluddin Rumi

                                 AHMAD

I had been forced to clear my busy schedule to travel to Minna to meet my proposed wife. It was the last thing I wanted to do but what choice did I have? It was important to meet her since there was no walking out on the marriage.

However, I was glad that I had gone down there to meet her. The first thing I had noticed about her was that she was timid. I found it rather amusing. I didn't know many shy people and didn't they say shyness is the best accessory a woman could adorn herself with?

If I didn't have prior knowledge, I would have thought her to be older, although, she had a baby face. She was so different from my ex in every aspect. They were like opposites. How could I survive with someone so different?

She was simple, cultured and perhaps a little naive. There wasn't any challenge or any puzzle to be solved. It had felt like a maze with my ex. It was intense, challenging and I liked running round all its corners.

Rukkayya...Rukkayya...Rukkayya... I kept chanting her name whenever her thought crossed my mind - which was frequent since I met her.

It was very easy to be with her. She barely looked at my face and she said so little. Hammad's sources had been right. She was innocent, which made me more sorry for her, she deserved to be with someone who would value her.

It felt like a burden, I was already being unfair to her. How could I have a life with her? I wished my parents hadn't come up with the issue.

I knew I could be a friend, a confidant but I could never be a husband to her. It felt impossible.

She had been smart enough to know that she would have to adjust. How I wished she knew just how much adjustment would be required? Would that had made her change her mind? It was all a big mess.

She was determined to please her parents while I basically had no choice.

I shared my worries with Muktar -Nusaiba's elder brother. He also lived with us.

"I think Mammy and Abba are making a big mistake,"

"Why?" Muktar inquired.

"We are from different worlds Muktar," I answered.

"Does it matter Ahmad? Did Nana khadijah not marry the holy prophet despite her wealth and their age difference? Wasn't that union a success?"

"It was but this is different man," I objected.

"How so Ahmad?" Muktar questioned.

"I don't think I can ever love another," I said. That was my second mistake. It was a silly thing to think.