Vita et Mors - Danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil Fanfiction

Chapter 17

A/N: I'm trying to write tonight because the rest of the week is going to be spent doing a huge physics poster on ultrasound (which I've had a fortnight to do) and English presentation (which I've had a month to do) as well as other homework. And revision. Groan.

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(Gemma's POV)

"Caspar, truth or dare?" Dan asked. He answered dare, and Dan thought for a bit.

I leaned over and whispered in his ear. He looked at me with admiration and said, "You, my dear, are an evil genius," making Caspar look a little uneasy but still as confident as ever.

Dan turned to him and said, "Go out onto the balcony with a pillow stuffed up your shirt, then start screaming about how much pain you are in from labour."

Caspar groaned but took a pillow from the couch and went outside. Marcus stood in the doorway, filming him. Caspar immediately took to the dare, screaming at the top of his voice, wailing things like, "AHHH, I THINK ITS A BOY, I CAN DEFINITELY FEEL ITS PENIS!" causing strangers to stare, and a few to start filming or taking pictures whilst others tutted and shook their heads.

After about five minutes, he returned inside. "Good enough for you?" he asked, and Dan nodded.

"Alfie, truth or dare?"

"... Truth."

We all sighed and slapped him with pillows whilst Caspar tried to think of the worst truth possible. He shook his head. "I can't think of any good ones, but oh well."

"Alfie, how many one night stands have you had?" Alfie blushed and muttered something while looking at the floor.

"You what? I didn't quite catch that."

"About... Ten?" Alfie answered, blushing furiously.

Caspar gasped. "You dirty, slutty man! How could you?"

Alfie hid his face in Marcus' shoulder. I saw Sophie shake with suppressed laughter and an expression of soft mush. I gave her a curious look but she shook her head. I gave her puppy dog eyes and she cracked. Sighing, she opened her mouth, before realising everyone was staring at her. She thought for a moment before turning to me and lifting her hands.

I smiled. In the time I had been in hospital, she had taught me how to sign the alphabet in BSL. I grinned. She began signing, and I followed the movement of her hands closely.

'Theyre dating. I saw them snogging in the kitchen, but they don't know'. My mouth fell open.

"What?!" I shrieked. Sophie hushed me and smiled, turning back to the game. Everyone looked at us in confusion, shrugged simultaneously and carried on.

"Gemma, truth or dare?" Alfie asked me.

"Truth," I answered. I couldn't go too bad on this one, not remembering all the embarrassing things I had done.

"Geez... Ummm..."

"Don't be mean," Marcus said into his ear as Alfie got a mischievous glint in his eye. Alfie sighed and resumed to normal.

"Well, I'm going to have to be boring. What colour toothbrush would your dream man use? Or woman..." He said slyly.

"My dream man," I said, giving Alfie a pointed look. "Would have to have a colour that wasn't black, white, bright or sickly. Just... Plain. And maybe with glitter."

"To match you," Sophie sniggered. I blushed.

"You have a glittery toothbrush?" Caspar exclaimed.

"It also flashes," Sophie laughed as I blushed deeper.

"What else?" Marcus asked.

"It plays songs!" Sophie yelled.

"Sophie!" I hissed.

"Can you fetch it?" Phil asked.

"No," I said as Sophie said 'yes'. We had a stare off until Dan grabbed me around the waist, holding me in place as Sophie leapt up, running upstairs.

"Nooooooo!" I screamed, thrashing wildly. Everyone was on the floor in tears, apart from Dan who was still clinging onto me.

Everyone calmed down as we heard Sophie running back down the stairs. She entered with her hand behind her back, presumably holding my toothbrush. I groaned and attempted sinking through the floor. Sophie cleared her throat.

"And here, ungrateful lady and kind gentlemen, we have GEMMA'S TOOTHBRUSH!" Sophie cried, producing my toothbrush which she pressed the end of.

Immediately, it lit up and glitter started floating around the plastic see-through bit in the middle. A childish song played, similar to the one on the aqua fresh advert, or whatever toothpaste advert had the little toothbrushes on.

Everyone died on the floor, clutching their ribs as I snatched my toothbrush back and headed upstairs. As I put it back, a wicked idea came to me.

I phoned Marcus and he answered.

"Yes?" His voice floated through the speaker.

"Could you put me on speakerphone?" I asked him.

"Sure," he said. "Fire away."

"Now," I said. "Horrible lady and lovely, floral gentlemen, next in the parade, we have Sophie's new underwear being modelled by her in a picture, along with her favourite pair of slippers."

"NOOO!" I heard Sophie scream, desperation in her voice. "Please, not that!"

"Life sucks doesn't it?" I asked her, before ending the call. I gathered the necessary items.

The photo was of Sophie in some 'sexy' underwear, but she had makeup spread all over her. In fact, we had bought a cheap paint box, filled our bath with all the colours and added water, Sophie climbed in, back combed her hair, pulled an extremely ugly face and angled the camera so she looked fat.

Her slippers were fluffy, had googly eyes, and looked like rats. Unfortunately for Sophie, they also played a song - Balamory, to be precise.

I traipsed down the stairs, hearing everyone go quiet apart from Sophie's frantic struggles to escape Phil and Marcus who were pinning her down. Quite a difficult job, as she was trained in the martial arts kali. Unfortunately, they were quite heavy and just sat on top of her, paying her no mind as they waited for me.

"Disgusting lady, and darling gentlemen, here we have, a picture of Sophie in her new underwear." We had got it printed in a2 for a joke, but Sophie was regretting it now. Everyone burst out laughing at the awful photograph, as Sophie blushed beetroot and flopped onto the floor, still.

"Now, Sophie's slippers," I announced. Pulling them out, everyone went into hysterics. Apart from Sophie, who growled. I smiled sweetly at her and continued. "Sophie here likes to dance around to slippery music," I grinned as everyone groaned at my really bad pun.

"Meaning, she does the TV headbutt move and similar dances. That isn't it."

"She's had these slippers since she was six when I bought them as a joke in a shop when we were on holiday together -"

"You remember that?" Sophie gasped. I smiled at her as Dan hugged me and kissed my forehead.

Suddenly, the world started to blacken. I heard panicked calls as my knees buckled and I fell into the darkness.

A/N: I spent the day doing nothing but moaning. I went for a checkup, and guess what? Something went wrong! I had silver nitrate sprayed on the wound, was advised to buy some probably really expensive medical stuff and panicked. I mean, it's bad if the expert starts stammering and looking worried, isn't it?

Gah, hope the bare minimal readers of this have a better life. I should stop whining, sorry.

I had real bad problems uploading this, I couldn't for about a day because of internet connections and all that lot. Bye!