i'll always be around

just checkin in

i'm going to cry really hard not to cry while i'm writing this ??

i've been in an interesting place recently. i enjoy school and i enjoy my friends.

i enjoy music and i enjoy softball.

i've just been SO STRESSED about everything. i've been constantly anxious for no reason.

i'm so so insecure wtf.

some days i wake up and i'm like "heyyy lookin cute" and other days i'm like "what the fuck am i doing, i want to pull a brittney spears and chop all of my hair off." because i just feel like changing something about myself.

for those of you that are reading this and actually know what i look like, SUGGEST ANY HAIR CUTS that you think would look cute on me and send me a picture because i need some change but i want to keep my hair red.

math class is fuckin hard.

and this boy. this boy is driving me crazy. why is he so complicated ?? why can't i like a nice, pretty girl who understands what i feel like.

why does it have to be this boy ?

why do i have to be so insecure ??

why can't i be confident and actually love myself like i pretend to ? why isn't the "fake it till you make it" coming true ? the whole thing about how if you put on a fake smile and try to be happy then you will be ??

i guess i'm not exactly sad either

but i'm not content and happy

i'm stressed out and anxious (please don't comment a tøp joke i'm not in the mood)

ANYWAY that was me checking in

i'm running out of pictures to post in my photography book, so i'll need to go out and take some soon