Love Is Love

Broken and won't ask for help...

Jon's POV:
After getting Lin out of his study, I began to slowly help him. I was treating him like the most delicate thing in the world, never being anything more than two steps in front or behind him but I didn't know when his next meltdown would be. When Lin is in this phase he views the study as his armour, defending him from the world, so without it he feels exposed and on edge. And that is exactly what he is portraying right now. I seated him down on the sofa in the lounge with a mug of coffee next to him and a few biscuits while I did whatever he hadn't done in the past evening such as the fan mail, post, bills and tidying up after himself. Once finished, a peek through the lounge door told me he was still seated but he hadn't turned the TV on, he was just watching the rainfall outside the window. Really helping. We both flinched at the knocks that followed. They're here. Face to face with Lin I quickly gave him a lecture on what was going to happen:
"Okay you're an A-Class actor and they're the audience. You're going to act okay and sane since we both know you are clearly not. If they ask you a question smile and reply as the old Lin would and if they ask where the kids are the twins are bonding with their parents. Got it?"
He slowly nodded and I sighed.
"I know what this is really about. We both miss Stacy and you may think the world has ended without her but your last connection to your near wife-"
He flinched, as if I'd hit him.
"- I, I'm sorry, is these kids. If you lose them it is guaranteed, you have entirely lost Stacy. So stay strong and keep these twins okay?"
A few tears ran down his face as I wiped them off and proceeded to go to the door.
"For Stacy."
I looked over nodding at what Lin said and opened the door.
"Hello!"
"Hello!"
"So where is the man?"
"Uh right this way!"
I led the man to where Lin sat who looked up smiling brightly, to this guy, who didn't really know Lin, it looked real. But I could see the emotion through Lin's eyes. He always puts a guard up but his eyes will always tell you how he truly feels no matter what.
"Hello Sir! How can I help?"
"I would like to see your household and check you are fine with your children."
"Ah yes! I was told about this, come, I'll lead you upstairs."
We all followed Lin and to be honest I was rather surprised by his acting. He was putting his full effort into this, all for his Stacy.
"So this is where the twins' room shall be. As you can see I have already bought it all from cots to toys to clothes to baby chairs which are beside the dining table."
The man nodded, clearly taken off guard with Lin's relaxed demeanour. But once again, relaxed was one of the last terms I could call Lin right now.
"So where are the children?"
"Ariella and Isaac are bonding with my parents right now. They spent the first day with me so now it's the family's turn."
The man politely laughed at this whilst Lin smiled warmly, just as he does whenever Ariella or Isaac do something Stacy used to do.
"So, sir, is there anything else you'd like to know about me?"
"Um, can you cook?"
"American and cultured foods."
"Like what?"
"Puerto Rican and B-British."
Lin did a side look at me which I instantly understood. He was going to break soon.
"What about hobbies?"
Stacy was the one with the hobbies.
"I like to write and play piano."
Lin took another side look at me.
"Any friends?"
Hallelujah.
"That'll be me! My name's Jon, a friend of Lin's for years."
"Ah. So how has Lin, well, been coping?"
"Oh Lin's surprisingly doing well! I mean, I thought he would shut himself away in his study like he used to years ago but he took this well, viewing it as something to move on from. For the kids and for himself."
"Well, it seems everything's in order."
Me and Lin smiled.
"So I best be off then,"
I nodded leading him to the front door and closing it behind him. The second I did I turned to Lin who had his head in his hands as he began to cry again.
"Lin..."
"No Jon. That was too hard. He, those questions were asked deliberately. Hobbies? Cooking? They knew it was Stacy. They knew!"
"I'm sorry you had to do that Lin but you have your children now, for good. That man won't come back here again now he knows, well, thinks you're okay."
"Exactly! Because I'm not okay am I? I'm going insane without her. I'm never going to get better because she's never going to come back. And it was all because of me."
"No."
"No!"
Lin turned his head to look at my stern face.
"You are not allowed to blame yourself and say bullshit like that. It was not because of you, we both fucked up greatly and honestly we didn't know how bad she really was. I mean, her parents were murdered Lin, fucking murdered! And you told me how her uncle hated her guts! You were her only family and you didn't even know each other until March and her first hospital trip was when she cut herself. Fuck, she was suicidal and it completely went over our heads. It's not just your fault it's whoever murdered her parents, her uncles, mine and your fault. Maybe not split equally but there was a reason for everybody's role. If you think it's just your fault you're not leaving this house until you take it back."
"You said that to Stacy about killing herself."
I took a shaky breath.
"A-And when she went against what I said she killed herself. I don't want you to die Lin. Fuck, Stacy's enough for a century of mourning. But guess what? It won't only be me and you grieving over Stacy. Think of the periscopes. Sure, you got hate, but what about those who loved you and Stacy together. Or Stacy singing? They loved her, not as much as you but all your fans will be by your side and everyone who has ever acted beside you. Hell, anyone who knows how talented you truly are! I mean, when that man came in even I was shocked by your acting because I knew how hurt you were inside. Lin, you need support. Not just from me and your parents. Bigger support. Worldly support. We should make Stacy's death known, to raise awareness and to restore your health."
Lin looked up at me for a few seconds and just before looking away again he gave a slight nod, it was barely noticeable but all I needed. He's one step further down the road to recovery.

AN: Yoohoo! Emotional whirlwind inside these sentences! Anyways see ya in the next chapter!