Love Is Love

The rest of the world falls away...

Lin's POV:
After a few hours of writing Isaac's tiny, chubby hand took the pen off of me and started to draw little squiggles in the book. I sighed reaching for spare paper in case they ran out of space in the diary. As long as they don't draw in the walls? Actually, no. I'll let them draw on the walls, it'll make the house seem more homely. After watching my kids for a while I ended up grabbing a pen and drawing a tiny Hamilton logo in the bottom corner of the page, it'd be weird if I didn't, right? The clock reached it's fifth chime of the evening and I quickly jumped to attention.
"Right my beautiful kids!"
They both looked up at me, a glint of curiosity in their eyes.
"I think it's time for your bedtime!"
Again they were clueless until I actually took them to their bedroom, then they began to struggle. Isaac, the less active of the pair, had no protest against the concept of rest. It was Ariella who was a challenge. Challenge accepted. I lay her down to rest promising a song if she fell asleep. It did the trick, and it didn't take long for me to choose a song.
"Dear Ariella what to say to you? You have my eyes, your mother chose your name. When you came into the world by my side, it warmed my heart. I'm dedicating every day to you, without my wife, it sure will be a trial but when you smile. You knock me out I fall apart."
I looked down to see her sleeping softly as I wiped a tear from my cheek as I stood and whispered:
"And I thought I was so smart."
Before one last look was taken I was out of the door. I needed to distract myself, and quick. After texting my parents that I need them and waiting for them to arrive, I gave my madre and padre a hug before leaving for a walk to clear my head. I'd been trying to distract myself from Stacy. It sure as hell wasn't working but I'd tried at least. Sitting on a park bench I began to let my thoughts drift.
"Stacy?"
I wiped my tears before letting it all go, Stacy would understand it, she always did.
"I don't know if I'm doing a good job. Our kids only have me to raise them and I haven't spared much time for bonding with them. What if they grow to hate me? What if they hate me for what I did to you? They don't have a mother thanks to me. You always loved the idea of being a parent and I fucking took it away from you like the stone cold man I am. I don't know what you saw in me Stacy, it's clearly not there anymore if it even existed at all. All I'm doing is staying with the twins for a couple hours before I have to find my parents or Jon. They remind me of you Stacy. Every time they look at me I see you. It hurts too much, this must've been how you felt when your parents... you are so strong Stacy. My girl. I always knew you would be a fighter, until I pushed you over the ledge that is. I still haven't seen your wedding dress. Bad luck? Right? I don't really believe in bad luck anymore. It seems to be out to get me. You, your family's death, I've arranged the funeral. It's in four days. It'd be silly to ask if you could be there wouldn't it? God I'm still a dork aren't I? Your dork. That's what you'd say, and I called you Hun. I'm not going to replace you. The most stunning girls can approach me but they'll never be like you. Never have the same glint of adventure you had in your eyes every time you looked at me, god those gorgeous eyes that I got lost in. They'll never be as humble as you were; I wanted to show you off to the world and you were always shy about it. You never believed how captivating you were... Do you now? I hope you do. I wish you do. I wish for all eternity that you realise what a beautiful person you are, not just on the outside, but the inside too. Your personality shocked me, so calm, so, so good. No one on this planet was as moral as you were: you always knew the right thing to do. God, Stacy please don't tell me your death was right as well. It's destroying me. But, but I'll get through it. I'm still your sweetie and no one can take that away. I hope you like the names by the way: Ariella and Isaac. I didn't mean to intrude on your privacy, I wanted you to have a say in it that's all. And I read the letter every day. The uh the one you wrote before, well, before it happened. I - I spoilt them for sure. And I will further on, when you die can you see what's going on here? I hope you do, so I can have your support. We could raise them together. Just, I won't see you. I still give them a goodnight kiss from you each night and I gave them both my surname. I'm over the anger now, it's as if I've gone numb to it. I pretended I hated you for your suicide but was it suicide or murder? I killed you emotionally, I know that. It hurts me every day. And physically, who can say? I broke your heart. I was the stupid idiot who took your life away from you and I still have the nerve to raise your kids as my own? I ruined your life Stacy! Why - do you want me to ruin theirs? I can't trust myself anymore."
I felt a breeze on my shoulder, it was cold, as if a hand was there. The invisible hand gave my shoulder a tight squeeze as I sighed leaning back.
"Stacy you're here. I was worried you'd left or I imagined you."
The breeze settled next to me, with its angelic haze around it, the hand on my shoulder was replaced with Stacy's head as I smiled through tears.
"I'm sorry Stacy. I'm so so sorry."
And just like that Stacy's aura was gone, I was alone once again on the bench but this time I had a solution. Stacy always told me what to do and she still can, I needed to see my kids and raise them as I promised Stacy, I'll be the father the kids deserve.

AN: Slooowwww updates! Sorry! See ya in the next chapter!