Half a Heart // h.s

Thirty

Harry's pov

"Ok let's run it again from the top." I nod to the guy behind the glass and put my headphones back on.

They didn't even give us time to get settled, they threw us right into the studio right away. Needless to say, I'm not putting in as much effort as I should be.

     I hear the music replaying in my ears for the hundredth time as I sing the same lines over and over.

"I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape."

"Stop it there. That was perfect, you're finally getting the sound we're going for Harry." The guy behind the glass played around with a few buttons, you can see the pleasure on his face from finally getting what he wants from me.

"Can I take 5?" I rub my eyes and take off the headphones. I walk out of the booth, seeing random girls strung around the room. They're all standing there, backs on the verge of snapping.

     As soon as they see me walk out, two latch onto my arms.
"That was great Harry."
"You did amazing Harry."

     These girls are so fake. I pull my arms away.
"Thank you girls. But I need to be alone."

     I hear them slightly scoff and return back to where they were.

     I push the doors open, being met with a dark sky and cold air. I fall against the wall and slide down.

     My face sits in my hands as I breathe in the cold air. My eyes start stinging and before I know it, I'm a bawling mess.

     I hiccup through the tears, unable to stop myself. My heart hurts so bad I'm getting nauseous.

     I hear the faint shutter of cameras and see a flashing light. I manage to pull myself up and flip off the camera. I pull the heavy door open and sit against the wall opposite of the stairwell.

     I continue crying, my whole body shaking as I slowly slide to lay down on the dirty carpet.

Eventually, I run out of tears and just lay there, hand behind my head, staring at the ceiling.

My breaths are short and shallow, with each breath my chest contracts, resulting in even shorter breaths.

I see Jo in front of me, shaking me awake.
"What're you doing sleeping on this filthy rug?"

She holds her little hands out for me to grab, pulling me up.

"What're you doing here?" I grab her shoulders perhaps a bit too aggressively, her flinching.

My heart beats against my chest as excitement courses through my body.

"What do you mean? We've been at the recording studio all day. You left about ten minutes ago and I got worried." She grabbed my waist, something little that she did that I loved so much.

Her touch radiated heat throughout my body, warming up the cold emptiness that filled my chest mere moments ago.

"Y-you had to stay in London, we" I took a pause, not wanting to finish my sentence.

"We broke up." The words left my mouth and the same feelings i felt watching her disappear from my sight when I left fills my chest again.

"Harry, baby. I'm right here can't you feel me?" Her hand lays limply on my chest. Her hand quickly grew ice cold.

Her other hand that rest on my waist also became cold. Her eyes changing from the beautiful green that I love so much to black.

"What the-" I cant finish my sentence before her mouth twists into a sadistic smile.

"What's wrong Harry? Don't you love me?" She laughs a terrible laugh, nothing like the one that makes my heart melt. This one was loud and violent.

     I swat her arms off of me and start running in the other direction.

"Where are you going? I love you, don't you love me?" She- no this isn't her anymore. It screams at me as I try my hardest to run as fast as I can, not going very fast, or far.

     Hot tears run down my face, me panting intensely and my chest panicking.

     I sit up quickly. My heart pounding violently inside my chest. I'm having problems breathing as I recover from that nightmare.

     I feel tears well up in my eyes again.

     Somebody touches my shoulder and I jump.

"Harry. There you are. Are you ok?" Louis notices my state and I start bawling again.

"If you were anyone else, I would say I'm fine. But I'm really not fine." The words come out in fragments, me stopping to take breaths between every second word.

"Do you need someone to talk to mate?" Louis was always such a good friend.

"It's Jo. I miss her so fucking much. I had a dream about her, which quickly turned into a nightmare. She turned into a monster Lou. I love her so fucking much and I can't have her."

Louis sits besides me, not too sure what to do.

"You know what Harry?" He throws his arm around my shoulder, me leaning my head against his shoulder.

"Hmm" I weakly hum in response to Lou's question.

"When we go back to London, which will inevitably happen. You will get to see her again, now maybe it won't be in the same sense as before, but at least she'll be in your life right?"

"I guess. But I don't want her any other way Lou." I slightly nod my head, understanding what he's saying.

"That's just life baby. Not everything happens how you want it to."

     After that, we just sat there, with Lou's arm still around me. The feeling of someone there was comforting enough for me to stop crying.

"Ready to go back to the studio?" His quiet voice filled the small area.

"Yea I guess. But I'm done recording today." He got up first, helping me up, my knees weak.

"Understandable. Your talking voice sounds extremely raspy and rough, I can't imagine what your singing voice sounds like." He chuckled shaking his head as we walked back to the studio.
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I'm back! I'm finally starting to get over what happened with my fam. But I still do have my moments, so if I don't update regularly (not that I ever did) that's why. Also, HAPPY NEW YEAR, I hope 2018 treats you guys well. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you lovelies soon

~S