Imagine Loki

Or He Was Too Loud

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Part two of eight, and I have so much writing to do it's crazy. I probably won't update this by then, so Happy Halloween to those who celebrate! I'm going as Selina Kyle from Gotham season one :3
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You often found yourself on the stairs of the dungeon, not willing yourself to go see Loki. You were there so often that even the rotations of guards were used to seeing you sitting there, reading or doing something else. It was a routine: you'd wake up, attend to your noble duties in the morning, go to the dungeon stairs, go to your socialite duties, and then sneak away to your and Loki's secret garden. Sometimes you got company on the stairs: a guard who had a bit of spare time, (on the rare occasion) Frigga, one of the Warriors Three, and even Thor had joined you before visiting his brother. This was one of those days. "Why don't you just go talk to him?" Thor asked, sitting next to you.

"I don't even know what I'd say," you sighed, closing the book you'd been reading. "There's just... too much for me to think about before I see him again."

"Sitting here every day does you no good if you don't see him, Lady (y/n)," Thor told you, placing a hand on your shoulder before standing.

"Thank you, Thor, I'll keep that in mind," you replied with a nod. With that, Thor continued down the stairs to go see his brother. You knew he was right, but you weren't ready for that. What were you supposed to say to the man that you loved after he went mad and tried to conquer another realm?

He was still quiet. You'd been told that he was living comfortably in his cell: Frigga having furnished it to his tastes. Despite his hatred for the man he used to call his father, he still held Frigga near to his heart. A few days after your conversation with Thor, you were back on the staircase with your reading. The hall was quiet, as it normally was, and then you heard Loki's outburst: "He's not my father!"

Immediately, you closed your book and stood, starting to make your way down the hall. You didn't know what was going on, but you felt the need to go to Loki and see what had made him so troubled. You knew where his cell was, despite never having gone to see him, and quickly found your way there. You hesitated, standing by the corner, just out of Loki's vision if he were to pay attention to anything outside of his cell. Inside the cell, there stood Loki and Frigga, Frigga's back to you. "Then am I not your mother?" She asked.

You saw Loki hesitate, and then heard his answer: "You're not."

"Huh. Always so perceptive about everyone but yourself," Frigga replied. You saw Loki's regret, and when he went to place his hands atop hers, her projection dissolved. You watched as he looked down, clearly affected, and decided to make your presence know.

"You really oughtn't have done that. She truly does love you, even if Odin might not," you spoke softly as you walked before his cell. Loki looked up, startled despite your wishes not to.

"(y/n)?" He asked, as if he thought someone was playing a trick on him. You nodded, a small smile on your lips. Your heart swelled at even seeing him again after all this time, and hearing your name on his lips felt right. "You're finally here."

"I am," you told him.

"Why are you here now?" Loki asked, getting riled up. You were taken aback by the sudden change. "Why, after all this time, did you suddenly decide that I'm worth visiting?"

"What?" You asked, shocked.

"You're not daft, (y/n)," Loki replied, louder this time. You'd heard that Loki's rage was something in a class of its own, but you'd never had to face it. You hated it.

"Do you think this is easy for me?" You responded with a question of your own, voice rising to match his. "I thought you were dead, only to find out that you'd gone to take over Midgard!"

"I was doing it for us! I was never going to get the throne here, so I was going to make you my queen elsewhere!" Loki yelled.

"Why would you think that I wanted that?" you yelled back. "I would have been fine with just you!"

Loki seemed taken aback by that, but you didn't want to give him the chance to say anything else. You held your head high as you turned on him, schooling your features into the neutral face you'd perfected as a noble. You walked away, ignoring the catcalls and jives from the other prisoners. It wasn't until you'd almost turned the corner that you heard Loki yell for you above everyone else. "(Y/n)! Don't just walk away from me! You know I was doing what's right!"

You didn't know what you had expected from your first visit with Loki, but it definitely wasn't that. Everything had gone downhill in mere minutes, and you don't know where it had turned sour. Admittedly, you should have visited him sooner, you could admit your fault there, but the screaming match that it had descended into was entirely Loki's fault. You had figured that he would have changed, given the amount of things that he must have seen while he was deemed dead, but you never imagined that he would have gone that far.

You didn't want to think of it anymore, but that didn't stop you from continuing your routine. However, instead of just staying on the stairs, you moved your reading to around the corner from Loki's cell. One of the guards had set up a chair for you, and you settled in. You didn't hear much from Loki, but there were the instances when he had his outbursts. It seemed like he had two modes: nearly silent or too loud. You weren't sure which one you hated more.

His worst outburst happened after the death of Frigga. It hit everyone hard, but you knew it hit him the hardest. That was when you went into his cell for the first time. You knew he would probably take it out on you, but you knew he needed someone. A guard you had become friends with let you in, and at first you saw the projection that everyone else did. You convinced him to let down his shields, at least to you, and you found him broken on the floor. You didn't know what to do except go to the floor next to him and hold him. You don't know how long you were there, but you held and let him be as loud as he needed to.