a second chance - Hotchniss

Blood [Aaron]

Three days had passed and Alaska still hadn't woken up. The doctors had assured us that we should remain calm, but how do you remain calm when your daughter nearly starved herself to death?

Emily and I dealt with the situation in very different ways. While I was mostly unable to say a word, remaining silent until she needed me. Then pain killed me on the inside, it felt like everything in me hurt. My wife was panicking all the time, she couldn't sit still, she cried a lot and often screamed when she thought she was alone. Both of us could barely sleep, but at least every second night, she suffered from nightmares, woke up, ran to the toilet, threw up and had another breakdown. It was the same procedure all the time.

That one night, I woke up as the rushed out of the bed. I directly followed her to the bathroom and held her hair, rubbing her back supportingly with my free hand.

"It's okay", I whispered. "I'm here. Everything's-" I stopped as I recognized that she was not only upchucking content of her stomach but also blood. A lot of blood.

My eyes widened.
"We gotta go to the hospital", I immediately said, panic shooting through my veins. I lifted her up, carrying her directly to my car. I didn't bother to take anything with me apart from my phone, keys and wallet on the way. "Hold on, Em", I whispered to her as I let her down on the passenger seat.

"It's nothing, Aaron", she managed to say.

Before I could answer, she threw up again, blood dripping from her mouth. I didn't care about the fact that she had just puked into my car, I just wanted to get her to the hospital as soon as possible.

She stared at her hands in disbelief, since the blood leaving her mouth now dripped on them. I drove faster until we finally pulled up on the parking area of the hospital. I jumped out of the car and ran over to her side. Of course she wanted to walk on her own, but I didn't let her and she was too weak to complain.

"I need help", I yelled at the young woman behind the front desk. Her eyes widened as she saw Emily and she directly paged a doctor and two nurses.

"We're gonna take over from here", one of them said. "You better wait here, sir. We're going to call you in as soon as possible."

I wanted to go with them, but I was too shocked to move or to say anything. I just stood there, looking after them. Now not only my daughter was a patient of this hospital, my wife was as well. Thinking of Alaska, I walked down the hallway to her room, but I was directly sent out by Dr. Adams. Of course, it was around 2 am in the morning, visitor times were over.

Walking up and down the hallway where they had taken my wife from me, I waited for the time to pass, but nothing happened. Then I decided to call JJ, in order to ask her if she could get a bag for Emily since I did not want to leave the hospital.

"Boss? What's up?", I heard her voice at the other end of the line, sounding sleepy.

"I had to bring Emily to the hospital, could you pack a bag for her? Only if it doesn't bother you.", I directly asked.

"Oh my god", she yelled, suddenly totally awake. "It doesn't bother me at all - I'm - I'm on my way! What happened?"

"I'll tell you later, okay?"

"Sure - sure, I'll be there as quick was possible!", and with these words she hung up.

I sighed to myself and whipped away the tears that were running down my cheeks. It felt like ages had passed until one of the nurses finally walked up to me.

"Is she alright?", I immediately asked and jumped.

"She is okay", the nurse nodded as she led me to her room. "She is suffering a gastritis, that's where all the blood came from. Additionally, her mental condition is really bad, but I guess that is connected to your daughter - Alaska Hotchner, right?"

I just nodded. Somehow, her words did not calm me down at all. I had to see her, to convince myself that she was okay.

"We gave her some medicaments against the gastritis and painkiller, those were really strong so it could be that she is either asleep or really tired right now. Okay?"

Once more, I nodded and she finally stopped at one of the doors. I opened it myself and I gasped as I saw my wife. She was sitting in one of those common hospital beds, as pale as the sheets around her, her raven hair was a total mess. Some kind of spark appeared in her eyes as they met mine. Immediately, I rushed over to her, wrapping my arms around her. She buried her head in my chest, her arms clinging around me.

"You scared me", I whispered. "Don't you ever do this to me again, ever!" Tears left my eyes again as I spoke the last words.

"I'm fine, Aaron", she replied against my chest.

"No, you're not", I placed a small kiss on her head. "And it's okay not to be fine. Especially in our current situation."

She clung to me even tighter and sobbed into my shirt. I was still wearing my pajamas; a white shirt and my black jogging pants. Yet, my shirt was covered with some blood which had already dried.

"It's all going to be okay", I whispered. "I promise."

"How do you do this?", she raised her head to look at me. "How do you manage to be so strong?"

"I'm not strong", I replied. "I'm in pain all the time and it's driving me crazy. But you and Alaska need me as your support, and I am strong for the people I love."

"Why can't I be strong for you and her?", she asked.

"Oh, trust me. You are stronger than the both of us.", I whispered and pulled her closer again, kissing her softly.

"Maybe life isn't about avoiding the bruises. Maybe it's about collecting the scars to prove we showed up for it." - Unknown