a second chance - Hotchniss

You & me [Aaron]

As soon as Emily and I had left Alaska's room, she fell into my arms. She just buried her face in my chest and wrapped her arms around me. I immediately put my arms around her waist, pulling her closer. Tears ran down my cheeks, but I kept silent and she did as well.

"She is awake, Em", I whispered. "That's the most important thing."

"But she won't stay awake for long if she doesn't accept that she is anorexic", she replied.

"We need to find this trigger", I sighed. "And we have to appear more confident around her. She gives herself the fault for us worrying around her. She thinks that she puts us in pain, which makes her feel even worse."

"I know", she mumbled. "But overtime I see her, I cannot stop thinking about the fact that she nearly died." She raised her head but didn't look at me.

"Hey", I whispered and cupped her right cheek with my hand. "Look at me. She is awake. She is breathing, she is talking, she is feeling. She is here. Okay?"

Emily kept staring right into my eyes before nodding slightly. We both knew that we had to be strong for our daughter, we couldn't put even more weight on her shoulders.

She took my hand from her cheek and laced her fingers with mine, squeezing my hand slightly. "Do you think we should tell her about us?", she asked.

"I don't know. Maybe we should", I answered. "I mean - she wanted us to get back together again, maybe it's going to make her happy? And I guess that relationships might help her a lot, especially Jonas is going to do a lot since she is kind of the most important person to her."

"I'm not sure", she sighed. "I'm not sure about anything anymore."

I kept looking into her eyes, and as we both stood there, both desperate about the current situation, I remembered. I remembered all the moments we had gone through together, every little, important moment.

There had been this one time, we hadn't even been together back then, where she had nearly been shot into the head. I remembered how she hadn't been able to stop shaking the following hours, she hadn't even been able to say a word.

"Prentiss", I whispered, but she didn't react. She just kept staring right in front of her. The shot had only missed her head by some centimeters and I could still see the fear in her eyes. "Emily!", I used her first name to get her attention, but again, I failed. I touched her arm slightly, which made her jump, breathing heavily. "Shh, it's okay", I whispered. "It's all fine, you are okay." She kept staring at me, and then, without another word, she fell into my arms. She was clutching to my body, crawling for some safety. And I just wrapped my arms around her, holding her.

My mind switched to another moment, where paperwork had me buried on a Friday night, tons of files had been spread all over my desk and I had gotten lost in them hours ago already. Actually, Emily and I had planned to go out this night, but I had already known thatI wouldn't be able to make it in time.

There was a soft knock on the door before it opened carefully. Her eyes met mine and I immediately smiled, yet I had some bad news for her. She was wearing a black dress, her hair naturally falling over her shoulder. "Wow", I whispered and she just grinned, but also raised her eyebrows as she discovered all the stuff on my desk. "That doesn't look good", she sighed and I nodded, my face turning serious. "I tried to get through it in time, I promise, but it's just-" "Hey, it's okay", she smiled and sat down on the chair in front of my desk. "I know you did. I'm going to help you." Resting her hand on mine, she grabbed the file in front of her with her free hand and started reading through it. And this was the time I knew; she was the One.

Then, memories of her pregnancy flashed through my head. Emily had - without doubt - had one of the heaviest starts of a pregnancy. Alaska had been very hard on her the first months, there had nearly been no morning where she hadn't thrown up.

I opened my eyes to find myself in bed, Emily sleeping with her head on my chest, her arms and legs somehow spread all over and around my body. We had just been asleep for some hours since she already had to throw up at night, but I was too used to my usual times to get up to fall asleep again. I smiled down at my girlfriend who was breathing peacefully against my chest. After some minutes, she started to move as well. "Good morning", I whispered as opened her eyes. She just smiled, so I leaned in to kiss her, but before our lips could meet, she jumped out of bed. Immediately, I got out of bed, too. She entered the bathroom before me, but I was able to kneel down beside her, holding her hair and stroking her back comfortingly as she threw up.

Another memory followed, it was a simple one, yet it meant so much to me. I had been sick for quite some time and she had taken care of me, eventually getting herself infected as well. That one night, we had just laid on the couch together, cuddled up with more blankets than we had been able to count. Both of us sick, yet trying to comfort the other.

"Are you cold?", I whispered, pulling her tightly into my arms. I was shivering as well, but I would even give her the last spark of heat of my body to make her feel better. She pressed her body against mine, trying to keep me warm as well. "No, but you are", she smiled weakly, kissing the area below my ear. Only small gestures like this made me feel a lot better, giving my body new energy. "I love you", I whispered and placed a small kiss on her hair before we both closed our eyes again in order to get some sleep.

I was drastically pulled out of my thoughts as the door to Alaska's room opened and Jonas walked out. He looked like he had seen a ghost, his eyes wide open, yet filled with so much pain and many tears.

"What happened?", Emily asked.

"She", his voice cracked as he tried to say it out loud. "She broke up with me."

"Why did you leave me here to burn? I'm way too young to be this hurt." - Camila Cabello