a second chance - Hotchniss

Magical Words [Emily]

It had been nearly three days since Aaron and I had gone on 'vacation' in order to fix our relationship, but nothing had changed yet. We kept living like roomies, both of us quite reserved and shy, neither of us dared to talk about 'us' again. I had told him that something was holding me back from completely trusting him again, but I didn't even know what it was. I just knew that it was driving me crazy, it was killing me from the inside, keeping me awake at night and sending too many thoughts through my head.

That one night I just couldn't take it anymore and went downstairs, leaving Aaron asleep in our bed. I stepped outside, where the cold air filled my lungs. It was too dark to see anything, but I could still hear the waves of the ocean. I walked down to the beach, ignoring that I was actually freezing. I just stood there and stared into the darkness, fighting against my own thoughts. There was this one thought that just wouldn't leave my mind. Just leave, nothing's gonna change down here. I kept asking myself if I should really just leave. My bag was still unpacked, I just took clothes and bathroom stuff out of it when I needed it. You could just take a taxi back home, leaving him and his car here. But I knew that only a coward would run away from its problems.

I folded my arms as I started to freeze even more, but I didn't move. It felt like the fresh air was cleaning my thoughts, but this one particular thought stayed the whole time. It kept fighting against my actual will, but both of them were strong.

"Emily!", I suddenly heard Aaron's voice behind me and turned around. "God, I was so scared!"

Due to the darkness I could only see some parts of him, but I saw that he had this worried look on his face.

"You're ice-cold!", he then exclaimed and pulled out of his jacket, putting it around my shoulders.

"Thank you", I whispered.

"I thought you were gone!", he then said and pulled me into his arms.

"I played with the thought of leaving", I mumbled against his chest. He let go of me so he could face me.

"What?!"

"I don't know, I just keep asking myself if this vacation thing helps at all", I explained, my eyes filling with tears. "It's been three days and nothing has changed at all, we barely talk and this tension kills me!"

"I know", he sighed. "I know, but I beg you to not give up on us."

"But what if it's the best thing to do?", I sobbed. "What if all the fighting and your patience turn out to be for nothing in the end?"

"It won't", he answered. "I promise."

"How can you be so sure?!"

"Because I love you.", he replied.

That hit me like a truck. He hadn't said these words for quite some time now and until this moment, I hadn't even realized how much I needed to hear that. All of the sudden, all of my doubts vanished somehow.

"You love me?", I whispered.

"Damn right, I do", he sighed. "I say it way too less, I should say it every minute of every day. I love you. I always have and I always will."

"Thank you", I whispered.

"For what?"

"For loving me even though I am the most annoying person ever, who made the last few months more than difficult for you and who rejected you for no real reason", I explained. "I love you too."

Carefully, like in slow-motion, he leaned in, just like he was afraid of my reaction. But this time, I closed the gap between our lips. The kiss was really slow and soft, yet so passionate. I pulled him closer, hoping that this moment would last forever. This time I knew that I would not freak out in the next moment, no, this time I was sure that is was the right thing. I felt free.

We broke apart as we both gasped for air. Aaron leaned his forehead against mine and smiled down to me. "I missed you."

A slight smile formed on my lips: "I missed you, too."

And we just kept standing there, staring into each other's eyes, finally free. I didn't care about the fact that it was probably around 2 am in the morning, or that I was freezing even though he had handed me his jacket. All I cared about in this moment was my husband, Aaron Hotchner.

"Could you repeat it?", I then shyly asked.

"Repeat what?", he grinned.

"You know what I mean", I smiled.

He kissed me again before whispering into my ear: "I love you. I love you, I love you, shall I go on? I love you-"

"Okay, got it", I chuckled and brought him closer. "Thank you for being so patient with me."

"I would do anything for you, Em", he smiled.

We remained silent for some minutes, until he spoke up: "Maybe we should head back, you're freezing to death out here." And with that, we walked back, holding hands like we used to in earlier times.

-

"Do you want some tea?", Aaron asked as we entered the house and I just nodded, so he walked into the kitchen and set up some water. I sat down on one of the chairs at the table and watched him. He was the perfect man, and even though we had not talked clearly about our relationship by now, since things at the beach had been really quick, I knew that things were changing from now on. That 'something' that was holding me back had gotten weaker and weaker from the second when he had told me that he loved me.

"Here", he handed me a cup and I immediately started to heat up as soon as my hands touched it.

"Do you want a blanket?", he asked.

"I'm fine, really", I smiled and he finally sat down in front of me.

And we just stayed like that. Both us saying nothing but smiling at each other, knowing that it was good like that. I knew that we had finally gotten over a huge burden between us and that we were able to fix things from now on.

But just when it seems like life is getting good, something always has to come along and ruin it...