Author: @SuperBlueSpy Story: The Magical Mermaid: Pearl Princess Genre: Fantasy Target Reader: 13+
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From the title itself, naisip ko ng ang market preferred ng novel na ito ay para sa mga bata. Ang lakas makabalik tanaw sa paborito kong si Ariel. Napapakanta tuloy akong 'Part of your world' but the genre kills me.
Seriously?
Fantasy?
Nakita ang kamote ni Charmdiatz... fine gagawin ko na. 😆
Introduction:
The main character introduces her self and tells her circumstances. She even invited me to read her journey. The evident was clear, the author is young too. At dahil nagtiwala ka sa hub namin, thank you so much. 😊
How do I gonna say this? 🤔
First remove the first page. I swear to you, it spoils your plot. It doesn't make sense to me why she has to speak for her story? Let alone your blurb and cover attracts your reader then after that is the prologue.
Prologue:
Good thing. You know how to use this section. Sadyang may iilan lang akong pupunain.
1. Setting Failure – nahulog si Lena sa barko. May mga kaukulang detalye kang hindi naipakita rito. I can't picture out the imagery and I even didn't feel how scary it was to fall onto the sea.
Show us how Lena was really scared during those chases. When she slept, did she scream? When she's on the water, alin ang nasaktan sa kanya? Marunong ba siyang lumangoy?
2. Initial reaction when Lena sees the mermaid guy, Edu.
Did she felt scared? Did she scream out of fear? Are the mermaids really doing speak?
3. Bawasan ang pagiging isip bata ni Lena. Baby issue is not a big deal, unless may mentally issue or trauma of baby name? If she's childish then okay I agree to her tantrums. Limitahan lang.
Plot
Given on the title – mermaid, I am expecting to read about their tale. How it looks like? Are they really half human and half fish? Are they beautiful? Do they swim fast?
