Smol Fry | Hercules X Lafayette

C h a p t e r T w e n t y e i g h t

Herc's POV

That's it, it was over.  I was a stupid dickhead who couldn't keep myself to myself. I watched him run, wiping tears from his face - what the hell had I done? It was true, I was just a goddamn screwup when it came to love. The guy who I liked had run away from me in a fit of tears; I saw the horror in his eyes and my heart practically shattered. I should've known this would happen, I shouldn't have let tears form, but I did, and watched him basically slip from my fingers. He kept on running, even when John tried to stop him; John then ran after him after shooting me a confused glance. Alex began slowly walking towards me, a look of the exact same confusion as John had on his face. Swiftly, I wiped away whatever tears that had formed as he sat down next to me.

"What  just happened?" he asked, looking back at Lafayette, "Are you okay, Herc?

"I ruined every fucking chance to be with him," I smiled, turning to look at him, "So yeah, I'm fine and dandy!"

"S-sorry," he mumbled, taken aback, "I didn't m-"

"No, it's my fault, all of it's a goddamn mess and it's all down to me," I apologised, I wasn't gonna lose my other best friend because I couldn't control my temper.

"D'you wanna tell me what happened?" he asked, smiling hopefully.

"Not particularly."

We sat in an silence, icier than the newly fallen snow surrounding us. Occasionally, I'd glance back to see if Lafayette and John were there. They weren't. With all of my past relationships, it was either rushed into, or way too late, and none of them were going to work out. But with Lafayette, I felt something that I'd never experienced in previous relationships - real love. Love that I thought was there, I thought was gonna work out, I thought that for once I might have a shot at having a boyfriend that I actually loved. But of course, I fucked the whole thing up, because of my stupid moment of arrogance.

It's funny, you see it in the movies: An aesthetic scenery, nobody around them, sitting pretty close to each other and the hand holding, although it doesn't work like that in reality, and I just had to go ahead and play my part in the hopeless romantic in the story. All the flirting, nicknames, shit that I thought actually meant something, was building up to when I thought it was the perfect moment, but obviously, it wasn't. I didn't even know if he liked me, but I was so freaking stupid, and went straight ahead with it; at the very least, I had my answer - he didn't. I guess I had just witnessed the best three seconds of my life.

"I kissed him," I mumbled after a while; my best friend had the rights to know.

"But- but that's great, Herc!" Alex grinned, his faced dropping when I gave him a sad smile.

"Yeah well, just 'cause I kissed him didn't mean he kissed back..."

"But- wait- Are you sure? He just didn't- but that doesn't-"

"He pushed away, Alex," I sighed, "I hate to break it to you man, but he was horrified. It lasted for three seconds, and I swear I thought he was gonna kiss back at the end, but he pushed away, with nothing but fear and shock in his eyes."

"Oh God, Herc... I'm so sorry."

He brought me into a hug, and I just sat there, not reluctant, but unmotivated to do anything. When he began to hug slightly tighter, I felt a lump in my throat, and tears brimming in my eyes. This time, I couldn't stop them from falling, I just let them fall. He had made me happier than I'd been in a long time, and I couldn't help grappling with the fact that I had caused all of this. Alex whispered that we needed to get back to camp, but I didn't think I'd be able to bring myself to do that - I'd practically lost whatever I was living for, why bother staying in a tent for another four days? The man who I loved would probably not want to look me in the eye anymore, let alone speak to me, and to even think about not having him in my life was a sudden soul-crushing shock.