Gone

Chapter 18: Lets Fall Again

"The love I have for you is infinite. Just like the stars in the skies or the miles in the universe. You know I will always love you Charlie no matter what," Harry whispered softly in my ear. I smiled to myself and rolled over to face him. We were laying down together on his hotel bed.

The curtains were completely pulled back so the sun was shining brightly on us. I was wearing one of his old t-shirts and my own underwear. Clothes were scattered around the hotel room. The big bed in the middle with nothing else really in it except for a huge TV and chair in the corner.

We were laying on top of the sheets, I was enjoying the peaceful bliss of love and life and Harry, and well I'm not sure. His arm was under my neck and he was softly playing with the hair on my shoulder. The smile that was on my face was endless and I truly believed that it was never going to end.

"Why Harry?" I beamed back, "Why do you love me so much? Do you want to know why I love you?" I looked deep into his green eyes and my insides burned. There was a fire burning bright inside of me so warm and soothing. The electricity on my skin wherever Harry touched me sent shivers up and down my spine.

Harry smiled and nodded. "I love you because you are you. Everyone's love is different, some is sweet, some are hard, and some are suffocating. Yours is true and strong. It feels like it was almost made for me. I didn't know it was possible but now it is. Your love teaches me that I am not alone. I'm not supposed to face this alone. It just feels right, everything feels right. I love you because you love me, I love you because look at me. I've taken out of myself, I've been hurt and I've lost everything, I stopped believing I could love things because they always leave, I'm gone. Your love, even if it is not infinite or everlasting, I know that right now I'm not hurt, alone. I've stopped caring about what if you leave me because I'm too busy worrying if I could ever love you like you deserve. So Harry that's why I love you, because I'm not gone when I'm with you. I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere."

I smiled. The love that I had for Harry overwhelmed my heart and it was almost unfathomable. "See this is why it's impossible to date a writer. You make it so impossible to be romantic. I'm in love with you too Charlie more then I think you understand, more than I can understand. It's just love the only thing I think I could ever give you that would ever even be remotely what you deserve."

I looked into his eyes, the way they sparkled like the ocean, revealing something deeper and so much more complex. I kissed his lips, they were soft on mine keeping me firmly on the bed. Harry pulled back and I breathed out finally. I hadn't realized I was holding it in. I smiled then laughed then giggled, then almost shook in delight. Happiness filled my whole entire body I felt like I was about to burst. In love, I was positively in love.

*

I sat down in my chair and looked out the window tears streaming down my eyes. Harry walked inside the house whistling. I looked over at him and his whistling stopped. "What's wrong Charlie what happened?"

"I can't do this anymore Harry I have to find my own place." I got up and walked over to the window. I looked out and saw the sky, it was clouded and gray. It looked like and quilt stained with water.

"What? No Charlie, what are you talking about?" he said worried walking over to me.

"Stop right there Harry ok. I just I don't see why I'm here anymore. I mean it's not like were together, I am stable enough to find my own place. I just can't stay here ok."

"No Charlie you can't leave!"

"Why not Harry? What else do you want from me? I am sorry but I just cannot do this anymore. I don't know what else I could give you ok! I just I can't stay!"

"Please Charlie you can't leave me. You can't leave this house not now, not after I feel like I'm finally getting you back!"

"Harry this isn't ok! I am having your children Harry isn't that enough? I just I don't know how to do this anymore! I can't be around you anymore it's just, it's just too hard to be around you." I was in full on tears. "I don't have anyone anymore your just a reminder why."

"Charlie you have me! Look I'm sorry you know that. But you have me you've always had me. I love you I will always love you. My love for you is infinite."

"No."

"Yes."

"NO!"

"Goddamn it yes!" he ran to me and wrapped me in his arms. It was exactly what I've needed. I was craving him and he was everything I wanted. He kissed me hard and everything fell for him again. The tears would stop but neither would the love, passion, and lust that was flowing between us. He broke from the kiss but still held my head close to his face, his hand intertwined with my hair. "You can't leave me Charlie not again. Please don't leave me. I'm nothing without you. I'll do anything I swear. I need you. I can't let you go again. It hurts to much. I love you. I love you Charlie just please don't go," he pleaded into my lips. I felt the tears run down his face.

"Please don't hurt me Harry Styles. Please I have to trust you because I am totally and unexplainably in love with you."