Gone

Chapter 39: It's Just a Dance

Harry’s pov

Throughout the drive I stole glances at Charlie. I watched as she looked out the window carelessly with the wind hitting her face. I wanted to reach over and grab her hand like I used to when we’d take drives together. I longed for her touch and laughter.

I watched as her beautiful green eyes focused on the road ahead of her. She looked so soft and aimlessly beautiful. She never had to try, never wore make, and never cared much about her hair. It’s when she looked like this when I loved her the most. So naturally beautiful. My mind raked over the last couple months of my life.

I haven’t done much of anything. It was a constant montage of getting drunk at a bar until I ended up passed out with vomit all over myself. I haven’t had a reason to live at all without her. Most days I spend locked up in the house no sunlight just trying to fight off the pain of realizing she wasn’t there anymore. She looked over at me and caught me starring. “Eyes on the road,” she said and my gaze snapped back to the road in front of me. “We both know how lousy of a driver you are,” she said and I could hear the playfulness in her voice.

I looked back over at her quickly but she was looking out the window again. I didn’t want to stop looking at her and I was afraid I didn’t know the next time I was going to be able to look at her like this again. I want to hear her talk some more too. I have to hear her voice again. “So have you been writing anything new lately?” I ask.

“Yea, no. Well, kind of.”

“Kind of? Books are never kind of for you.”

“That’s the thing. I’m not writing a book. I’m writing a script for The Unkindness of Crows Movie. But I don’t think teenage girls are going to call it that. It’ll probably be abbreviated to like. T.U.O.C.”

“Tuok?” I say and she laughs. My ears embrace it as much as possible. “That’s great Charlie.”

“Yea it is. Anyway what about you? Niall played me some parts of your new album its sounding amazing,” she said. I clenched tighter at the mention of Niall. I don’t mean to undermine his character but he is in love with her. I looked over at her and she looked at me concerned. “Niall’s a good guy Harry. He wouldn’t do anything I wouldn’t let him do.” She spoke quietly and softly.

I continued to drive, a little faster now, but no one was on the road. “What’s that?” She asked pointing out the window. Not too far along the road there was a huge Ferris wheel.

“Must be some kind of festival.”

“Oh so it’s like a Ferris wheel?” she asked still squinty towards it.

“Are you wearing your contacts?” I asked and looked at her. She shook her head.

“I lost them and a different pair ripped. So I’ve been kind of blind.” I shrugged. 

“In the glove compartment there should be another pair.” She goes into it and finds them. I wait for her to slip them on trying to drive steadily so she doesn’t make a mistake. Once they’re in she looks back out to the now a lot closer festival. “”There is that better?”

“We should go to the festival.”

“What?”

“Yea let’s go and get high. Let’s act our age again.” It’s hard to act your age when you’ve already lost two kids and your fiancé. No age is prepared for that. I drive quietly, secretly thinking that this was all a mistake. I don’t want to be here for a night with her and then she leaves me again with nothing but her memory. I almost miss the exit but still pull off. I wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to have her in my head again.

By the time we make it to the festival the sun is about to set. “We should get a motel room,” I say. She looks at me and nods. I pull into a motel parking lot and look at the listing. “Um can I have two rooms please,” I ask talking to the guy at the front counter.

“Sorry but we’re all booked up. Everybody’s here for the festival mate. Should’ve came sooner,” he speaks back.

Just then a younger couple walks into the room. A girl looking half way to waisted slung around a guy with a leather jacket on. She walks up to the counter with him following drunkenly behind her. “Can I check out please,” she slurs her words. The guy laughs and kisses her neck.

“Um sure what’s your name?”

“Regina. Regina Pepkor. Now hurry I have somewhere to be.” She says. “I already got all of my stuff out of the room. Here’s your key.” She throws a key onto the table. I look over at Charlie and she has a mixed expression of horror, disgust, and humor in her eyes.

“Well then you’re good to go thanks for staying here,” the guy says in disgust also. I find the couple more humorous then anything. Drunk all over each other. The way they touch and lust for each other. I guess in her state whatever he does to her could also be considered rape. That’s disgusting. The guys grabs onto her and she laughs as they walk out of the office.

“Do you still want a room?” the guy at the counter asks. Looking at me and Charlie.

“Yea but we also don’t want chlamydia”” she says looking back at the door.

“Well here’s your key just fill out this draft and I’ll send some over there to disinfect everything. Come back in an hour and you should be just fine.” Charlie fills out the paper and I grab the key.

“They looked about our age,” I whisper and laugh.

“Yea well we’re not going to ever act like that,” she says as we walk out of the office and towards the festival.

People are dancing everywhere and we decide to just join in the fun. We walk over to a stage where a random indie band was playing. We danced around until a random old couple passed us a pipe. Charlie held onto it suspiciously for a second before taking a long drag out of it and passing it to me.  I looked at the pipe then back at her. She shrugged and pushed it towards me.

I took it and took in a long drag. I held it in my lungs then blew it out. It didn’t taste like marijuana but I was hoping that I was that. I passed the pipe to the people next to me and continued to dance.

She grabs onto my body and began dancing against me. I froze a little unsure of what to do. She looked at me her eyes wide and innocent. “It’s just a dance,” she talks loudly over the music. I smirk knowing that’s what I told her the nights we had in the club. They never were just dances.

We danced until the night took us. The drug we took sped time by so quickly by the time Charlie and I got back to the room it was almost two o’clock in the morning.

We walked in stumbling and laughing almost as wasted as the couple we saw early. When we got inside it was somewhat clean. I was the first to notice there was only one bed. My face dropped. “Um I’ll sleep on the chair,” I say pulling off one of the blankets from the bed. She looked at me and then at the bed.

“Um sure ok,” she mumbled quietly. I walked over to the chair. And sat down on it. I watched as she took off her shoes and climbed into bed. I watched as she drifted off to sleep. I watched as she tossed around at night, and in the morning, I watched her wake up. I wasn’t going to sleep I knew that already. I don’t sleep. Not without her at least. The only time I do sleep is when I’m drunk and I just pass out.