Gone

Chapter 42: It's Going to Happen

Harry and I walked through the antique stores with the tagging guns in our hands. We tagged the things we liked skipping over the stuff we didn't. He held tightly onto my hand and whispered small jokes in my ear. We were registering for our wedding.

"Harry, Niall is going to be your best man," I say turning down the aisle.

"What why?" he asked. I turned around and pulled onto his jacket.

"Because when you said I had total control over the wedding you released any power over anything including your grooms men. Plus I already asked him to be my maid of honor but he said no," I said and Harry laughed.

"You asked him to be your maid of honor?" he said holding back a laugh.

"Yes and he refused so now he is your best man. Plus he's helped you a lot." He let out a breath. "I was thinking about asking Anne to be my maid of honor. So then standing with us will be your mom, Ryder, and Gemma on my side. You can only have three groomsmen and one of them is Niall." Harry wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my cheek from behind.

"Ok but tell me one thing," he spoke softly. "When did you get so bossy?"

"When I was put under the stress of coordinating the biggest day of my life. Now onto your bachelor party or whatever you guys say out here in Europe."

"Relax it's just going to be the guys and some other's we're going out to play some golf then maybe hitting up a bar," Harry said. I turned around in his arms and looked at him.

"Harry I'm not stupid. You're a pop star. I know how you like to party. We getting married is sort of a result of your liking to party. All I'm saying is don't be stupid and don't do anything that I wouldn't do."

He looked at the rest of my body and smirked. "From my experience you'll do almost anything," he whispered in my ear sexily. I pushed him back playfully. "Hey it's only what you've showed me plus I like that side of you."

"Harry that's inappropriate," I say and he laughs.

"You never seem to have a problem with that," he said.

"Back to you party. We are going to make it three days before the wedding. I don't want you to be hung over and sloppy the night before and tell Louis I want to approve the stripper before he books her."

"You want to what?" Harry asked surprised. I smiled innocently and walked away.

*

"You told him you wanted to approve the stripper?" Ryder asked over the phone. I walked into the living room and sat down on my chair.

"Yes I don't get what's wrong with that?"

"Really? You don't?" she asked condescendingly.

"Ok maybe it's a little weird but like what if she's prettier than me."

"Then he'll marry the stripper," I let out a breath, "look Charlie you have nothing to worry about. You love Harry and he loves you. A little stripper isn't going to change that. You've been through a lot together enough to know you can trust him," she spoke and I calmed down.

"Thanks," I said and brushed some hair out of my face. I heard the doorknob turn. "I got to go Harry's home. I'll talk to you later."

Harry walked through the door and over to the couch. I walked over and sat by him. "Mum is thrilled to be your maid of honor," Harry said. I smiled. "Can you believe we're finally doing this?"

"It feels like so long ago when you asked me. It was a different world back then. It's a different world now. I feel like when we get married it'll be a whole entire new world. Like our little lives are transported from world to world as we experience new things and go through different states."

"God I love it when you talk philosophical to me. It's so sexy," Harry said and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. He pulled me in and I rested my head on his chest. I remembered our old world. One of me sad and depressed and broken. I remembered how hard that world was.

"Harry I'm sorry," I whisper.

"Why?" he began to rub circles in my arm.

"For that argument we had. I blamed you for everything and I know it wasn't. I don't want you to think that I do. I was just mad and hurt. It wasn't your fault."

"Charlie you don't have to apologize because I know the truth." I pulled up my knees on the couch and looked at him. "I know it was my fault Charlie. What you said was true," he said and a tear began to roll down onto his cheek. I sat back onto my legs and grabbed his face.

"No it's not. It wasn't your fault Harry and I'm so sorry for trying to put something like that on you. What happened was crazy and no body could've predicted it. It wasn't your fault."

"No Charlie she was in the car with me. I was driving and I was paying attention I know I was. I had taken a wrong turn down a street and the car just came out of nowhere and I couldn't stop it and then another one came and we got hit again but I couldn't save her. I couldn't save my baby and now she's dead. She's dead and it's all my fault," Harry sobbed into my hands and I wiped al the tears that came.

Tears were falling down my face also but I ignored them for Harry. "No it's not. I don't know why it happened but I know it wasn't because of you. Harry listen to me it wasn't your fault. Its nature and it's fucked up but look I'm right here," my sobs became stronger and my eyes began to burn the way the usually do while crying, "I'm right here Harry and I love you and I don't blame you. I don't blame anyone Harry I love you." I said and kissed him. Our tears mixed on our cheeks.

I pulled away and rested my forehead on his. "I love you so much. Please don't ever blame yourself. I don't blame you. Please Harry I didn't mean it. I didn't mean any of," I cry with him. We cried together. I held him as he cried into my shoulder I held him as he kissed me. I held him while we walked back to our room and made love. I held onto him and I vowed to myself to never let him go.

I held onto him and I'm never going to let him go.