Gone

Chapter 36: I Do Love You

Charlie’s pov

I walked to the room Niall had given to me and closed the door. I heard another door slam inside the house. Ryder and Niall were having an argument. I hooked up my phone to the radio and played Naïve by The Kooks. I opened up my laptop and saw I had an email. It was the producer who still wanted to make my book a movie. I was seriously considered it now.

“You’re so naïve,” I sang along to the words. I read the email. He was talk about how his company would pay me double the original amount he offered if I agreed to write the script. I stood up and walked to the door. A month without Harry. A month with hardly any sleep, headaches for one reason, and a sort of clarity that only came with heartbreak.

I grabbed my keys and jacket and left the room. I walk pass Niall’s room and heard the arguing. I try and block it out until I get to the door. I didn’t know where I was going but I just needed to breathe a little. I drove down to a small park that was next to some woods. I parked and walked into the park.

I bought an ice cream cone it was strawberry. It was almost spring again so the sun was almost out again. I walked past kids playing in a playground. “Charlie!” I heard a voice behind me. I turned around and saw Harry walking up to me. “Hey Charlie.”

“Um hi Harry,” I was trying to keep from freaking out. He looked at me then looked at the ground nervously.

“Do you want to go get some coffee?” he asked and smiled. I smile back and nod my head.

“Sure,” I say and we walk out of the park. We walk a small coffee shop that’s secluded, so we wouldn’t get recognized. We sat in a small corner of the shop. The windows had small sunlight but were laced with green vines. I had ordered tea and Harry got an expresso shot.

“So have you been?” he asks awkwardly. He drinks the expresso. I sip my tea.

“I’ve been ok. But how about you? You’ve been great it looks like. Your tour is sold out. You guys have been working nonstop on your album which by the way I’m extremely excited to hear,” I say happily.

“Yea things have really been good for us. I mean it hasn’t really felt like it,” he pause and looks out the window, “I miss you Charlie.” I took in my breath.

“Harry…” I say. I place both my hands on the table and look down at them. I missed Harry but I wasn’t ready yet. I wasn’t ready to get hurt and to love him. I don’t think I was ready to forgive him either. Every time I thought about the good time images of Bella goes through my head.

“Well of course you don’t miss me at all do you?” he asked angrily and I looked up at him confused. “Of course not why would I think. You’ve obviously shown that. You couldn’t where it at all?” I looked down at my hand and notice my ring was missing. I looked at his hand and it was still prominently there taunting me. “But then of course you wouldn’t. You hate me and that’s clear.” He began to verbally attack me.

I felt a tear fall down my face and stood up. I wiped it away and looked down at his angry face. “I can’t believe you’re still so stupid,” I say quietly and reach inside my shirt. I pull out my ring that was hanging on a chain and securely next to my heart. He looked dumbfounded.

I walked out without saying another word. Making it back to Niall’s house was easy. I wanted to get as far away from Harry as quickly as possible. I got into the front door and leaned against it. I wiped away the oncoming tears. Niall walked into the room confused.

“What’s wrong Charlie?” he asked walking over to me.

“Nothing, nothing,” I say, my voice cracking. He wraps me in a hug and I cry on his shoulder. He walks me over to the couch and we both sit down. “It’s just Harry. I saw him today and it didn’t go to well. I’m was afraid this would happen. Why didn’t you tell me Niall?” I sob into his chest.

“I know I should’ve told you he changed. He’s not the same. Not sense you left. He doesn’t sleep, hardly eats. He usually comes to work late or drunk. Let’s just say you’ve done a lot better than he has.”

“Well that’s obvious,” I say and wipe my tears away. “Thanks Niall.” He hugs me tighter.

“It’s never going to be a problem,” he whispers and kisses my head.

“I can’t fucking believe this,” Ryder says walking into the living room.

“Ryder listen it’s not what you think,” Niall says letting go of me.

“No Niall I can’t do this anymore. I was ok with her staying here. I understood why even. I thought we could move pass this but obviously you can’t. I’m done Niall. I love you but I can’t do this to myself.”

“Wait what Ryder? Do what to yourself?” I ask confused.

“I can’t watch the man I’m in love with be with the girl he’s in love with. I liked you Charlie, probably more when you were with Harry. I’m not that kind of girl who sits around and wait for a guy who’s never going to love me.”

“No Ryder Niall loves you.”

She looks at him tears teasing her eyes. “Then why isn’t he fighting for me? I’m sorry Niall but I don’t have beautiful strawberry blonde hair, or a huge dimpled smile. I’m not a writer who has all the write words and I’m sorry that I can never make you look at me the way you look at her. Even when I fight for it I’m never going to be good enough because I’m not her. I’m not Charlie Niall, and I know you could never love me as much as her.” She wipes the tears from her cheek and walks out the house. Niall sat there still looking at the ground.

I was waiting for him to run after her but he never did. He sat there quiet and hurt. “Niall what are you waiting for go after her,” I say trying to encourage him. I force a fake smile and try to cheer my voice up a little.

“I can’t. I’m sorry Charlie,” he spoke quietly and got up and left the room.  I looked at the front door and then at Niall’s. I just ruined a relationship. They were happy and loved each other and I did it. I got up and walked to Niall’s door. I knocked on it twice and leaned against the door frame.

Niall opened the door and looked at me. “Do you want to talk about it?” I ask looking back.

“I am…” he says so quietly I could barely hear him.

“What?”

He looked down at the floor and took in a deep breath. “I am in love with you Charlie. I’m madly in love with you and I’m afraid no girl is ever going to be as good as you. I tried and fall in love with Ryder and, I really think I did at one point. But I kept comparing her to you.”

“Niall stop,” I say trying to fight my tears. I didn’t want to hurt him. I looked at his face which had tears rolling down them. My eye drifter off to the white wall in the back of his room. I felt his warm hand on my cheek and leaned into it. I closed my eyes and felt the tears moving down my cheek.

“Look at me,” he whispered. I opened my eyes and he was crying also. I did it. He leaned in and kissed me.