Gone

Chapter 14:Shake it Out

"So you want me to move to England?" I asked walking into my living room carrying a new bowl of ice cream. I sat down on my chair and started enjoying.

"Yes. I think it's the best idea. You and the baby will be out there with me. You can work from home all day. I don't have to leave the band and we avoid the whole travelling thing."

"You know the thing about writing the next great American novel is you actually have to be in America."

"Come on Charlie why would you stay? It's just so much better for you to be closer to me."

"I wish you weren't right about that. But where would I live?"

"You can stay with me until you find a place to live. It's not very hard. I just want you closer to me as soon as possible."

"Fine, I'll move, but under one condition, I'm bringing my chair and it stays in the house."

"Agreed."

"And this stays out of the press, ok Harry. You tell no one about my pregnancy at all. It stays out of the interviews, the concerts, the commercials. This is strictly confidential information. The media has already ruined my life once, I'm not sure if I can take it again."

"Ok definitely. No news got it." He got up and walked over to me. I finished my bowl and put it on the coffee table. I stood up and looked at him.

"Oh and Harry one more thing," I said quietly. He was already super close to me our chests were touching.

"Name it," he said quietly back. I looked up into his eyes and tried my hardest to resist the allure of them.

"Don't make me fall in love with you again," I said quietly. I was avoiding full eye contact. I wasn't sure about what would happen to me if I looked into them.

"I'm not promising anything," he said. He grabbed my hand and kissed it. "I might try my hardest to do the exact opposite," he whispered. His lips were still against my hand.

I pulled my hand away from his grip and held it close to me. I looked at him for a long time. Why did he insist on trying to hurt me. I turned around quickly and walked back to my room.

"Charlie," he called after me. He followed me into my room.

I turned around and looked at him. "You can't do that Harry! You can't do this to me. I'm moving to Britain for you ok. Just please leave my heart alone. Haven't you hurt it enough?" I snapped back.

"Charlie I don't want to hurt you."

"Please Harry. Just umm, you can sleep in my guest room tonight and I'll arrange flights and stuff in the morning. I'm just really tired," I said exhausted suddenly. I laid down and watched as he left my room closing the door behind himself.

I curled up in a ball on my bed and rubbed my belly. "I love you. Did you know that? Mommy is just a little crazy right now but I need you to know I love you with all my heart. It's ok though, because daddy said I could love you. He said you'd never leave me, and for some stupid reason I still believe him. I guess mommy is just in love with daddy still. Honestly I'm just really scared that daddy will leave me again."

A tear ran down my face. "I love you," I whispered one more time and tried to sleep. I woke up at around 3:00 a.m running to my bathroom and throwing up. I puked for what felt like hours but really was probably the span of thirty minutes. About half way through I heard a knocking on the door.

"Charlie are you ok?" Harry's sleepy voice sounded through the bathroom.

"Yea I'm fine. Go back to sleep," I said but ended up throwing up right after. My head was half way buried into the toilet when I felt Harry at my back. He placed a warm hand on my back and began to rub it. He grabbed my hair and held it back in a pony tail.

I threw up and Harry was by my side the whole time. I stopped around two hours later. Harry leaned back against the wall and I leaned on him. I felt weak and fragile.

He held me in his arms and rocked back and forth, as we laid on the floor of my bathroom. "You ok?" He asked quietly.

"Yea I'm fine thanks," I answered. He continued to rock me back and forth and I ended up falling asleep right there on the floor, in his arms.

I woke up in his arms on the floor. He was asleep right there in front of me. I moved over and leaned against the sink. He woke up immediately on a sleepy alertness. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing," I rubbed my eyes. I stood up. "I'm going to make tea, do you want some?" I asked. He stood up also, completely towering me.

"Yea I'd love some," he said and we both walked into my kitchen. I wasn't one who usually drank tea but I read a book that said I shouldn't be drinking coffee anymore. It's been a hard drink to come off of.

"Do you usually sleep that lightly at night?" I asked. The events that occurred last night kept going over in my mind and I couldn't get over.

"I don't really sleep at all honestly."

"Well thanks anyway for that."