The Dream Is Not Over

What Are We Fighting Over?

I don't know how long I've been sitting here but Lindsey knocks on the door.

"Steph?"

"Out in a minute." I sniffle, wiping my eyes with a tissue.

"I don't mean to bother you, I just couldn't find you."

"You're not bothering me, Linds."

"Do you need me to like...hold your hair or something?" I chuckle. Never has he ever offered to do that. The closest he got was tying up my hair when I was pregnant with our son. It took almost a whole bottle of Tame cream rinse to get those knots out.

"No, honey."

He's quiet a moment. "I'll leave you alone."

"Don't go." I say, standing up. I toss the test in the trash with the instructions and open the door.

"You sure you're alright? Your eyes are so red."

"I'm okay. You can quit asking now."

"I'm hovering, I know you hate that." He chuckles, putting his hands up in defense and God, he's drop dead gorgeous. Even if he annoys me, even if he driving me freakin crazy, I know I love him and I want to make this better, make it right. Apparently, we have a baby on the way. He keeps glancing at me, giving me such a handsome smile. I can tell he wants to say something.

"What?"

"One last question then I won't ask anymore."

"Okay, just one?"

"Just one. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? Maybe I can make you some kind of soup or put something on the tv up here so you can rest and relax?"

"You're sweet, but no, I'm fine to just finish my book and my glass of..." I trail off and he gives me a look.

"Your glass of...wine?"

"Right."

"Maybe you shouldn't drink anymore if you can't even remember what's in your glass." he jokes and I smile at him.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." He walks out of the room before me and I feel like I've dodged a bullet. I'm sweating and nervous, but I know I have to tell him at some point. But when? The best thing would be to make a doctor's appointment to confirm that this is even happening before I scare myself completely for no reason. The closest I can get to confirmation before Monday though, is another test...or several tests. I make a mental note to stop by the pharmacy after lunch with Lindsey tomorrow. I'll just stash them in my purse. My mind is working a mile a minute and I can't turn it off. The only things on my mind are the baby, and Lindsey. I take a couple deep breaths, trying to calm down enough to face the beautiful man in my living room without having a meltdown. I'm pregnant, we're having a baby. With River, I was scared but I knew Lindsey would be be there. He was so happy. I hope that will be the case now.

—-

I find myself falling even more in love with him, the longer I look at him. He's stroking my arm with his fingertips as I drift off to sleep, cuddled into his side on the couch. He's familiar and warm, and he smells delicious. My hand lazily caresses his chest through his tee shirt. I don't even have to open my eyes to know he's smiling softly. He stills my hand, lifting it to his lips, planting a kiss on my knuckles. His lips are moist and warm.

"Mmm" I moan, happily. I could stay like this forever. He rubs my thigh and I open my eyes, watching his hand move up and down the silky fabric of my pajamas. My brow furrows and he looks at me.

"What's up?"

"Where's your wedding ring?" I ask.

"What?"

"Your wedding ring. You know, the one I put on your finger when we got married a million years ago."

"I don't know, maybe it's in the bathroom. I probably took it off to shower." he says. Maybe...probably. Come to think of it, I don't remember it being on his finger at the studio earlier. He's lying to me.

"Who is she?"

"Who is who?" I can tell he's bewildered...or guilty. Whichever. I get up, staring down at him.

"Did you take your ring off for some bimbo at the studio? Are you cheating on me? Maybe your feet don't hurt because of the boots, maybe your arches are stressed from-from...toe curling orgasms!"

He laughs out loud. "You're nuts!"

"I am not, Lindsey."

"What's with you being territorial all of a sudden?"

"I'm not being territorial!"

"You're possessive, jealous...it's kind of sexy." He waggles his eyebrows at me and I scoff.

"I'm not jealous or possessive."

"You know, Steves, I'm hearing an awful lot of denial but not much reason to believe you." He gets up, looking so smug, so proud of himself.

"So what if I am? Can you really blame me? You're my husband, the father of my son and—"

"You act like you don't want me anymore. We fight all the time, you look bored or unamused when I talk. This is what we've come to."

"You said you loved me."

"And I do."

"Then we should fix this."

"Why? Love is letting someone go if they can be happier somewhere or with someone else."

"So you're saying I should let you go?"

"No, because I know I would never be happier than I am with you. Even if we fight, I like being here. It's you who wants to give it all up!"

"Since when? I hunt you down to talk to you and you flick cigarette ashes at me."

"Oh whatever Stevie, it was the wind."

"There wasn't even a breeze!" I argue but I stop myself before things can possibly get much worse. "This is stupid, and petty. What are we fighting over? I mean, really."

"You love me but you're sick of my bullshit." he deduces and I chuckle.

"Right."

"But I'm so good in bed that you keep me around anyway."

"That's not true." He gives me a look. "I mean, yes, you are very good in bed but...that's not why I keep you. I keep you because you're the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. When you didn't come home that night, it hurt. I wanted you to come to me and apologize."

"I should have." he admits, hanging his head. "What I did was despicable. I shouldn't have taped you without telling you, especially so intimate and private."

"You wanted additional vocals so I guess you got them." I tell him, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah...I guess I did." He's still upset, and I know he needs space. I watch him walk upstairs and I sit down on the couch, staring down my glass of wine with narrowed eyes.

"If I weren't knocked up, I'd be drinking you right now."