The Dream Is Not Over

What Is This?

Sexual content

He keeps smoking. "Well, it's not impossible." I say.

"No, I guess not." He gets to the end of his first joint and pulls a second from his pocket, lighting it up. I sigh heavily. I touch my stomach through my blouse, thinking. He's stoned, or he will be very soon and this isn't what I envisioned. "So...are you knocked up or what?" I grimace at his phrasing; he's toast.

"Just...never mind."

"Whatever, Stevie." He stands up, and I back up toward the door.

"You know, I was told you were trying to quit smoking."

"Cigarettes" he says, chuckling to himself as he takes another hit.

"I haven't made dinner. The kids aren't hungry. So if you get the munchies, you're SOL."

"I'm SOL?" He knows what it means but he's challenging me.

"You're shit outta luck, Linds. Better? Is that clear?"

"Yeah, crystal." He starts to sing my song and I clench my fist.

"Fuck you, Lindsey." I say under my breath. I knew tonight would be a disaster with him here. I came up here to talk to him and he's getting high like a teenage boy in my bedroom. I have half a mind to throw him out. The tears start up again and my stomach churns.

Instead of sitting in my bathroom, I head toward the one down the hall. I can't hear him singing my lyrics anymore and that's a relief but my stomach is still angry. I heave and fall to my knees in front of the toilet just in time to be sick a few times. Each time I think it's over, it happens again. "I have nothing left!" I wail, feeling achy and horrible. I make an all too serious bargain with God to end my suffering at some point, laying my head on the toilet seat. I'm so tired, and my eyelids grow heavy. "Dammit, my pie." I scramble to my feet and wash my hands, quickly brushing my teeth. "Fuck, fuck, fuck" I open the door and crash right into Olivia.

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry! Are you alright? I mean..." She looks me over.

"I'm fine, I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going."

"The pie's fine." she says, as if she read my mind. The timer went off and I took it out. It was golden brown and it looked and smelled delicious. I hope that's okay, I was trying to help."

"Thank you, I appreciate it." I try to move past her but she moves with me.

"There it is again. That 'different' thing I was talking about."

"What?"

"It's not just the perfume but it's...linked...yknow?"

"No, sweetheart, I don't know." I'm getting frustrated and I love her, I really do but I need to sit down. The room is spinning and I feel hot and freezing all at once.

"You should rest." Her eyes examine me and I feel self-conscious. "You know, I'm a vault. I'm great at keeping secrets, so if you want to tell me anything, I can keep it to myself." Does she know? My eyes widen and she gives me a warm smile. "Besides, I'm the only other girl around here. If you can't talk to me, then who?"

She's right, but I'm still nervous. If I told her, or if she knows, how do I really know she won't tell River? "Thank you." I clasp my hands in front of me and she finally moves away, slipping down the hallway to River's room. I go downstairs and into the kitchen, checking on my pie. As she said, it's truly perfect. Lindsey joins me moments later.

"Can I sit, Steph?" he asks and I shrug.

"Why are you asking me?"

"Because I don't want to piss you off anymore."

"Is this high Lindsey or my Lindsey?"

"Why, deciding which you like better?" He chuckles and I smirk at him.

"Maybe." I cut the pie and place a small piece on a little plate a la mode, getting a little wild with the whipped cream. I sit down with my fork and Lindsey is still standing. "You're making me nervous."

"Well, you never said if it would upset you."

"Not currently, so stop looming over me." He sits down, just looking at me. I quickly become consumed in my pie and forget he's there. The only thing that pulls me from my treat is Lindsey's groaning. "Am I bothering you?"

"No, but how do you make pie eating look so sexy?" I roll my eyes, trying to ignore him. "I mean, goddamnit, I wish you'd eat me like that." I still my chewing, lifting my gaze to his before lowering it to my plate again. "Then the noises..."

"What noises?" Without warning, he startles me with pornographic sighs and moans. I'm talking, X rated! I blush, shielding my eyes as he writhes in his seat, running a hand over his chest and tearing at his shirt. Strangely enough, that does it for me. I look at him, and he stops, thinking he's in trouble.

"Sorry. I just—"

"How turned on are you?" I ask but he doesn't speak. I get up from the table abruptly and he calls my name. "Upstairs? Please, Linds." His eyes widen and he gets up too, stripping off his jacket and unbuckling his belt. In my room, I begin to take off my clothes. I'm in just my bra and panties when he comes in. He shuts the door, locking it.

"Are you sure?" he asks and I launch myself at him.

"Don't talk." I kiss him passionately, pushing him to the bed where I pull off his boots and jeans, freeing him from his boxers. "Yes or no?" I ask and gets confused. I motion to myself.

"Yes...Jesus, fuck yes."

He ignites a fire behind my eyes. I slide my panties down and unclasp my bra. His hands reach for my bare flesh and I straddle him, moaning as he fills me to the hilt. "God, you feel so good." I whimper, bouncing on his hardened member. I lean down, circling my hips and kissing him deeply. His hands grip my hips and he groans, throwing his head back to the comforter as I find a rhythm that suits me. He bucks wildly beneath me, and it must feel good to him too. Within minutes, I feel myself getting closer and closer to nirvana. He helps me finish, pressing the pad of his thumb to my sensitive bud. I climax, moaning loudly as involuntary tears fall down my cheeks.

"Christ!" he groans and sits up, holding onto my tightly during his release. "I'm seeing fucking stars." I giggle, kissing him again. His eyes sparkle and he kisses me tenderly on the lips. He flips us over so he's on top and I can't stop my girlish laughter, squealing as he kisses down my neck and chest. "What is this?"

I can't think, I just speak. "That was round one, so round two?"