The Dream Is Not Over

Only The Beginning

Sometime in the afternoon, we decide to take a break from my compulsive cleaning and his innumerable phone calls to different realtors, and retire to the living room. "Maybe we should go see a movie or something? I hate the idea of you being cooped up in the house for another minute," Lindsey says, lifting my feet into his lap as he joins me on the couch.

"I don't feel like going out."

"Dirty Dancing comes out tomorrow. Looks good...girly." He gives me a sly smile, trying to get a rise or at least get me to show some sort of interest but I just don't have it in me. I rub the side of my belly, my hips and side aching. It must show on my face because he reaches out and places a hand on my bump as well. "You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I sit there a moment, trying to get the cramp to ease. It feels like the muscles are all locked up. "Did you know, I haven't gotten a single Braxton-Hicks this pregnancy?"

"Isn't that a good thing? Why would you want to cause yourself any more discomfort?"

"I don't, I'm just making an observation, that's all."

"Are you finally getting them?" I shrug. "Maybe you over did it today." I don't respond, letting him look at me as if I have three heads. He only tears his eyes away to turn the tv on. "Anything you want to watch? I'm thinking about making BLTs with the extra bacon from breakfast and just relaxing for a while."

"That sounds good," I say, adjusting my position slightly on the couch. He looks over at me, passing the remote.

"You channel-flip, and I will make the food." He carefully takes my feet out of his lap and holds them, placing a pillow beneath. He leaves the room and I have to adjust again. I feel...different. Between breakfast and lunch, something has definitely changed. Maybe he's right and I did too much. I've been going through clothes, arranging toys and making sure everything is perfect for when the baby decides to come. The only thing we haven't done is discuss names. He says he wants to wait until we see the baby, but with my need to plan right now, I want a small list so I can go in feeling like we have some sort of idea. Names are very important and we were so sure of River's name, but this little girl...nothing. I sigh, turning to sit on the couch rather than be partially lying down. My tail bone hurts, and I have to pee. Oh, the joys of pregnancy!

"One more week," I tell myself as I attempt to hoist myself off the couch. After much huffing and puffing, I'm successful and waddle my way upstairs. They seem steeper today, each step making me regret ever buying this house. Why couldn't I have bought that cute little ranch home my dad picked out? It had great bones, he told me, it was small, way under budget but it was a fixer upper. Lots of character though. It was a starter home, and I wasn't interested. There was a time when I thought we would have filled it with children early in our marriage, I was so taken with motherhood, and I wanted more space. When Lindsey has stumbled upon this one, it felt kismet. It was perfect and we jumped on it even though we could barely afford it. We never felt the need to get a big fancy mansion when so many memories were made here. I pass pictures of our son on the walls in the hallway and it's comforting to still have a piece of my little boy around now that he's a man with a family of his own. So many more memories will be made here soon, and I can't wait for that, but at this rate, this baby is going to be holed up in my belly until she's in college herself.

I hurry to the bathroom, getting some relief. I stand up and feel as if there is a lead weight in my pelvis. I look in the mirror briefly as I wash my hands, unsettled but not surprised by the feeling. She probably just dropped in preparation for birth. I remember feeling heavy with River the night before he came. I sat in the floor, legs apart and leaning back on my hands in the nursery just trying to take the weight off my hips. Lindsey laughed at me, thinking it was a strange sight, and I'm sure it was. I smile, turning off the faucet. I dry my hands and fluff my hair, though I don't know who I'm trying to impress.

Lunch should be ready, and I am famished! For not being so hungry at breakfast, I sure am hungry now. I shut the door behind me as I make my way back down the hallway. I poke my head into the nursery, giving it one last look before making my way back downstairs.

"Bags are packed, baby's clothes are washed and hanging in the closet, toys, shoes when she's ready for them and plenty of diapers and wipes stored in the changing table. All I have to do is ask Lindsey to remember the camera." I recite aloud, running through my usual mental list. Placing my foot on the floor after the last step, I get an unusual pain. It radiates through my lower back and hips. It's almost as if I pulled something but the sensation is sharp at first, becoming more of a dull toothache kind of pain that takes my breath away. That was weird! I move slowly, holding on to the back of the couch as I make my way around and sit down.

"Ready to eat?" Lindsey asks and I huff, not wanting to get up but knowing I have to. I prepare myself mentally but to my surprise, Lindsey brings our plated sandwiches into the living room and places them on the coffee table with two napkins. "Let me grab the water. Don't get up." He holds his hands out, stopping me and I'm so grateful, giving him a tired but appreciative smile. He returns quickly, looking at the tv as he takes his place next to me. "Decide on anything?"

"No, I had to pee," I grumble and he chuckles.

"That's alright, we can find something together." He grabs the remote from the coffee table and I don't wait for him to start eating. I place my plate atop my belly and dig in. I'm ravenous, barely coming up for air until I'm finished. I shift, feeling the now familiar pain from before and wince as it intensifies. I breathe through it, looking up to see a soap opera playing on the tv. For a man who calls them 'housewife nonsense', he sure looks invested. I'd be amused if I weren't so uncomfortable.

During commercial break, I turn to him, touching his arm. "Will you do me a favor?"

"Sure, anything."

"Will you get me the heating pad? My back hurts."

"Of course, is that it?" I nod, and he gets up immediately to search for it. He throws himself up the stairs, and I don't know whether to hold my belly or my back. Both seem to be competing for which can cause me the most discomfort...pain? I'm not sure.

"Well, little one, you're a good listener."

With my belly tight as a drum and my breathing controlled, I begin to believe that this might really be it. Fingers crossed. Now I just have to tell Lindsey and hope he doesn't freak out.

The feeling I now believe to be a contraction tapers off as I hear a knock at the door. I pull myself off the couch and hurry to get it as Lindsey returns with the heating pad.

"Got it!" he calls, his feet padding on the last couple of stairs leading into the entry way.

I pull the door open, sweat beading on my forehead and cheeks flushed.

"Hey, mom! I thought we could stay a while we look at the houses on the list we've compiled. Dad told you, right?" River asks, a broad smile in his face. Olivia stands beside him, a hand pressed to her small but growing belly. Her once big and bright eyes I noticed at the sight of them are now clouded with concern.

"Stevie...are you alright?"