The Dream Is Not Over

Foot-In-Mouth Disease

I can't focus. I keep going over details, and coming up with answers to any question River could formulate. If I'm not pacing the foyer waiting for him to arrive, I'm arbitrarily fluffing pillows on the sofa or checking the silver for spots in the kitchen- anything to keep my mind off this meeting. During my second pass over the silver, I see Lindsey in the pool from the window. He's serene, graceful and so carefree whereas I'm bound to wear a trench in the floor. I sigh, going outside to talk to Lindsey as River could be here any minute. I get closer to the pool and see his shoulder break the surface of the water, his arms cutting, no, gliding, through the soft ripples he's creating.

"Lindsey!" I shout, "Lindsey!" He can't hear me, or maybe he's ignoring me. I'm not about to get in myself so I scan the perimeter for something I could use to get his attention. My eyes widen, finding the item I so desire, a pink swan inner tube. It isn't heavy but it's awkward. I pick it up and I toss it into the water at him and he pops through as if it were a known obstacle. I roll my eyes. "Didn't you hear me trying to talk to you?"

"No, honey, sorry." I try to speak again and he points to the side of his head. "Water in my ears." he shouts. Once again, I roll my eyes. That's convenient.

"Can we talk again about what we are going to say? I want us to be on the same page."

Lindsey huffs and pulls himself from his aqueous sanctuary. He grabs his towel, wiping down his legs, arms and chest. I'm sure he's missed his back and his hair will definitely leave little water droplets throughout the house, making even more work for me. "What is there to talk about? You told me not to say anything and I won't."

"Let me do all the talking. I don't know what Mick told him about the whole thing."

"He hasn't called so he probably doesn't know anything."

"Maybe he didn't want to talk about it on the phone. He could have wanted to make this a face to face discussion."

"He's a guy, Steph."

"And what does that mean?" My hands come to rest on my hips and Lindsey has to know he's in trouble.

"Well, guys are just different than girls. We don't need all the details. Girls drone on and on and on..." I clear my throat and he sort of coughs, scratching the back of his neck.

"Anyway, I want to be prepared."

"Fine, what do you wanna do?"

"I want to ease him in. We were having a rough time in our marriage as all couples do, we had a...tiff, but it's over now."

"A tiff? Steph, that was definitely more than a tiff." I shrug, uncomfortable going into so much detail. It's done, it's over and I'd prefer not to relive it. "And what about what happened afterward...and what was revealed during this so called tiff?"

"I don't want to bring the baby into this right away. Not like that."

"We can't just not tell him. Stevie, you're—"

"I'm what?"

"See...you're trying to get me in trouble and I'm not falling for it. This time, I'm not going to put my foot in my mouth."

I giggle, waiting to continue, though I do love to watch him squirm. "I will tell him, just not in the same breath, okay?"

"Sure. So we say this thing was no big deal but afterward I got drunk and crashed my car outside the house. You took care of me and then we were fine?"

"We can leave some of that out." He huffs. "Why not?"

"Stevie...there are about a million missing pieces. He's gonna see right through that."