The Dream Is Not Over

Jealous Guy

People buzz around me getting things ready in the back yard. Food, plates, more drinks, and to my surprise a big beautiful white cake with edible pearls and flowers. It's a stunning transformation but I can't seem to focus on that. Mick has feelings for me, deep feelings and I can't reciprocate. Lindsey and I are finally solid, we have a baby coming, our son has just gotten married and they're expecting a baby as well. It's River's birthday, for God's sake and Mick feels the need to...and now I have to tell Lindsey. I have to be honest, but tensions are so high right now between he and the band. I don't know what to do, which only makes me cry more. I have to pull myself together and change out of this dress at the very least. I should be celebrating.

Al breezes through the room, already changed out of his wedding attire. His jeans are worn and faded. There are a couple of patched up holes on the knees and the back near the pockets. His shirt is only half tucked in, haphazardly buttoned and short sleeved. He has a couple of chains around his neck, one being a St Christopher medal and the other being his zodiac symbol. He's a Capricorn. I manage a small smile for him as he passes but he stops dead in his tracks. He walks a few steps back, and looks into my eyes.

"What happened?" he asks and I shake my head.

"Nothing, just happy tears." I giggle but he knows right away it's insincere.

"No, these have a totally different vibe. I can help you, comfort you...I led group therapy during a peace rally in 72. It was a really healing experience for everyone."

"Thanks, Al, but I'll be alright." I just want him to go outside. I don't want him to question me. I don't want to spill my feeling to anyone but Lindsey. I've learned my lesson. I push myself off the wall and he looks as if he's studying me. "Thank you," I tell him again as I walk past him, heading for the stairs. I hope not to run into anyone, I have one purpose and that is to get to my room to change. I hear River and Olivia talking in one room with the door open and Sue walks by me, dressed in a long cheese cloth dress that slips delicately off her shoulder. She has a long, large beaded necklace on, hitting almost at her navel. She looks beautiful, happy as she makes her way down to join her husband. I get to our room and the door is shut. I knock, hoping I'm not disturbing Lindsey and he opens it immediately. He's already changed into street clothes and he looks handsome as ever.

"Hey, I've been waiting for you," he says, kissing me right away. His hand cradles my face as he goes in for a second kiss. The next one is more heated than the last as he presses hips the best he can to mine. I can feel his erection pressed against me and I know what he wants, but can I? I need to change out of this dress, I need to talk to him, can I really do this with him now? "You are so beautiful," he says, breaking our kisses for only a moment.

"Thank you, Linds." His hand finds my zipper, kissing and sucking lightly on my neck. As he slides the zipper down my side, I stop his hand on my hip. "Can we talk about something?"

"What, now?" he asks, still kissing me.

"Yes, now."

He stops, pulling away from me. "Alright." He sits on the bed and I take my opportunity to change. I had already laid out another dress when I was changing before. It's almost Victorian in nature. It has a lace bib collar and short fluttery sleeves. It's pretty, and it makes me feel good even though I'm the size of a house.

"Will you do up the buttons for me?" I ask, turning around. He sighs and gets up, pushing the tiny buttons through the holes at the back of my neck. "Please don't be mad at me," I beg.

"I'm not mad at you, I'm just tired and I miss you. I miss your body, it's been..."

I turn to face him, finishing his sentence for him. "Too long, I know and we will, I promise. I just need to talk to you first."

"I'm all ears."

"I was talking to Mick and he congratulated us on the baby and our relationship."

"That's nice of him. We've been through a lot but I think we're stronger than ever now."

"I think so too." I wring my hands, nervous to tell him what happened. I don't want him to be mad at me, or find a reason to believe I somehow wanted this to happen. I definitely did not. I love Mick, I care about Mick but we are just friends. "He has feelings for me."

"He said that?" Lindsey's expression doesn't change and I'm shocked. "Well, who wouldn't? You're sweet, you're beautiful...it's not that far-fetched that he took your kindness the wrong way."

"Thank you, Lindsey and I know it's not but, he kissed me." This time, his eyes widen, changing from brilliant blue to stormy grey and his fist clenches.

"He kissed you?" I nod. "He kissed my wife at our son's wedding?!" He walks toward me and I block the door. I don't want him to do anything he's going to regret.

"Now, Lindsey, I told you because I want to be honest with you. I don't want any secrets." He can tell I'm scared. I don't want a fight, I don't want this to escalate, but I knew that if I told him, he's not the kind of guy who can just let it go.

"You've been crying," he says, looking into my eyes.

"I'm fine."

"He kissed you at my son's wedding and upset you. That's it, I'm going to kill him." He reaches for the doorknob and I move.

"Don't today, baby, please. Let it go then talk about it with a level head some other time."

"I'm not going to be level headed about this. I'm sure he was waiting for that fight to break us. He took care of the kids, he brought you home and made sure you were alright...that sneaky little bastard." He's in his head, he's thinking.

"Not tonight...for me? For our son? He's dealt with so much already."

He deflates, inhaling deeply as he pinches the bridge of his nose. "Fine, maybe not tonight but I don't care if I have to climb that Mt Everest asshole, I'm going to punch him square in the nose."

The image of my husband climbing the tall Englishman is enough to send me into a fit of giggles. Lindsey softens a little, pulling me into him.

"I love you, you know that?"

"I do," my giggles finally ceasing. "I love you too."

"I'm angry about what he did, I'm livid even but you don't need the stress. I will put my pride and jealousy aside for one night, and one night only."

"Thank you, Linds." He kisses me, swaying with me a little. He's still tense but I can feel him relaxing in my arms. "You have no need to be jealous. I want to be with you until my very last breath...which might be soon if you don't loosen up a little."

He chuckles, his cheeks slightly pink. He looks so boyish, bashful...kind of like when I first met him. "Sorry."

"Ready to join the rest of our friends and family outside?"

"Sure." He takes my hand and leads me out of the bedroom, kissing my knuckles. "Thank you for keeping me out of jail."

I giggle. "My pleasure"