The Dream Is Not Over

Lover's Connection

Dinner is going well and Olivia is such a joy. Lindsey keeps looking up at her while he eats and there's a curious look on his face. He looks at me, then at River. This continues throughout the meal, even giving the girl a lingering glance as he goes to the kitchen to rinse his plate for the dishwasher. I get up and gather dishes. The lovers rub noses and I smile sadly, following after Lindsey.

"Something wrong?" I ask.

"Hm?" he grunts, looking up at me briefly as he turns the faucet off and lays the plate in the sink. I roll my eyes, picking it up and putting it in the dishwasher. I rinse the others off as well, and he leans casually against the counter.

"Why are you staring at her? You're making her uncomfortable."

"Why, are you jealous?" he asks, quirking an eyebrow and I scoff.

"No, I'm not jealous. You're being weird."

"You're always weird but I don't say anything."

"Oh, fuck off, Lindsey." I turn to walk away from him but he grabs my arm.

"Don't you notice anything strange?"

"No, I don't. She's wonderful. She's free spirited and fun. She's sweet, polite and has a lot of interesting hobbies and talents."

"Of course you like her. She's you."

"She is not."

"She is. She's exactly like you. River is marrying you."

"Yeah, sure."

"I'm serious. River found a girl who is everything you were twenty years ago. You are Olivia, Olivia is you. You are the same person."

"Well, River is just like you and always has been. After he lost his gorgeous blonde hair it darkened. It's curly and wild. His eyes are intense and stormy just like yours. Our son is your carbon copy."

"If he is me and she is you then they're us." he says and I can barely process what he's saying. I shake my head.

"If that's true, then not all the prayers in the world could save them." I say before leaving the room. Tears are stinging my eyes but I will myself not to get emotional. Lindsey joins us in the living room and kicks back on the couch, putting his feet on the coffee table which he knows I hate.

"Boots down" I say.

"Yes, mom." He pulls his feet off and his boots hit the floorboards loudly.

After an awkward silence, River speaks up. "Thank you for dinner, Mom. I think we should be going."

"So soon?"

"We have early classes." Olivia says.

"Oh, well thank you both for coming!" I hug them both and River hands Olivia her purse. "I want to throw you both an engagement party. Nothing fancy because I know River hates parties but I want to celebrate."

"Are you sure? I don't want to—"

"Don't be silly. I can't wait!"

Olivia smiles brightly and River kisses her temple. I drop my gaze. "I'm going to start the car, angel." River says.

"Alright, honey. I'll meet you out there in a moment, I promise."

"Take your time." I walk toward the door, River is several strides ahead of us and Olivia stops me.

"I want to give you something." Olivia lifts her knee and sits her purse on her thigh. She has excellent balance, like a ballerina. She opens a large pouch and expertly plucks three stones from its depths. "Open your hand, please." I do as I'm asked and she drops them into my palm. I look down at them and smile. "You know what they're for, right? They used to say that lapis, those two gorgeous blue ones, connected the essence of two lovers. Their sexual encounters would be more sensual and profound and of course the Rose quartz, the pretty pink one, will just bring a little more love in."

"Thank you." I say and I hope she can tell I'm sincere. Maybe I could convince Lindsey to carry one of the two lapis lazuli around. She lifts my chin as I'm obviously lost in thought and smiles softly at me. Her eyes are full of empathy and love.

"I'm holding space for you, sister." Olivia hugs me tightly and I practically melt into her embrace. I smell her summer-like scent again and she leaves like a breeze.

"That was fuckin' weird." Lindsey says and I feel my shoulders slump.

"You don't like her?" I ask, walking back down the hall to sit on the couch with him.

"She's great, I just...I don't know if I'm ready to let go of him yet."

"Neither am I."

"But you get to plan a party so that should cheer you up." Lindsey says. He slaps his thighs and stands up, leaving me alone in the living room. I stare down into my hand and hold the stones to my chest. I close my eyes and take several deep breaths, connecting with them.

"Hey, Linds?" I call out and he answers instantly.

"Yeah, Stevie?" I put the stones down on the coffee table, leaning forward to look at him.

"You wouldn't want to go upstairs...would you?" He gives me a strange look and I immediately feel like snatching my words out of the air and taking my offer back.

"Really? Like, to...?"

"Uh-huh." I bite my lip and he jams his hands into his pockets, leaning against the kitchen doorway. He looks so handsome and my eyes are pleading with him to say yes.

"You're sure?"

"I am." He walks toward me and I watch, almost holding my breath. His movements seem both swift and in slow motion simultaneously. He wraps an arm around my back and pulls me up to meet him. He presses my body into his and kisses me deeply and passionately. His tongue begs for entrance and I moan into his mouth. He lifts my thigh to his waist and he easily holds me as I wrap my legs around his waist. His hand tangles into my wild blonde hair and we move toward the stairs. In seconds, we are pushing through our bedroom door. I hop down from his arms, tearing each other's clothes off. He rubs his thumb over my lips, smearing my lipstick before kissing me again. My legs hit the side of the bed and he lifts me up onto it, crawling over me. He kissed up my body and smiles down at me as we join. Feeling him fill me is such a beautiful relief. It both winds me up and calms me down. His movements are deliberate and perfection as always, hitting all of the spots that felt long neglected. We weren't having sex this time, we were making love. It was emotional and sensitive, something I thought was lost in our relationship. As we were pushed over the edge, we whispered soft declarations of love. He lay his head over my shoulder and inhaled my scent deeply.

"You're so beautiful" he tells me and I thank him, wrapping my arms around him tightly.

"I don't want to let go."

"You don't have to, Steph." he says and I smile, tears falling down my cheeks.