The Dream Is Not Over

Is That...Me?

Lindsey has been gone all day and I find myself bored without him. Shocking, I know. You'd think I'd enjoy the peace and quiet but here I am, listening to the clock tick on the wall. I sigh and hoist myself from the couch. I head upstairs and look through the closet, choosing to go into the studio, against my better judgment. I just know Lindsey will be standing there waiting to greet me with a shit-eating grin on his face, thoroughly satisfied that I caved.

Fine, if he wants to play, I'll play. I put on the lowest cut body suit I have. It's black with lace trimming the neckline. It's plunging and I usually save that one for the bedroom but this evening, I'm going to wear it out. I grab a black velvet jacket and a long black skirt with a handkerchief hem. Fishnet stockings, high boots...he won't be able to resist. I do my makeup and fuss with my hair, making sure I look my very best before calling the car to pick me up. When it arrives, I give myself one last look, choosing to wear a long cross necklace that hangs right between my breasts. "Perfect" I praise, hurrying out the front door and locking up.

I bite my lip nervously as the car stops. The driver gets out and opens my door for me. I thank him with a smile and walk inside. Mick is sitting in the lobby, smoking a cigarette and he stands at the sight of me.

"Stevie, I thought Lindsey said you weren't coming?" He looks a little flustered and I give him a strange look.

"He told me he needed me and here I am. Will you go tell him I'm here?"

"Sure" He removes his cap, smooths his hair and puts it back on before wandering down the hallway. A couple minutes later, Lindsey greets me. I see the beginnings of that smile I cannot stand but he stops instantly. I arch my eyebrow, feeling victorious.

"Stevie!" He closes the gap between us quickly and kisses my lips. "Jesus, you look..."

"Is it okay?" I ask, knowing he's blown away.

"Yeah, it's...you're so..." He adjusts himself in his jeans, kissing me again before leading me back to the studio. Christine hugs me, glass of wine in hand and Mick is sitting in a chair, still smoking. Lindsey's eyes begin to wander and I watch his gaze drop to my chest. "Is this new?" he asks, reaching out to touch the cross.

"Nope." He studies it in his hand, rubbing his thumb over the gold metal.

"It's beautiful."

"Thank you."

He leans in, his voice barely above a whisper. "And so are you." I look down, smiling and he kisses my neck softly. His hand smooths the curve of my side and his fingertips dig into my skin. He pulls back and all I seem to remember is the smell of his delicious cologne and those great eyes of his staring down at me.

"So, what do you need me to do?"

"Well..." I stand against the wall, watching his eyes work over my features, studying me just as he had studied my necklace moments before. His arm extends, his palm pressing into the wall above my head. He leans in close again and I inhale deeply. "I need a few extra...effects."

"Alright."

"I need a couple harmonies but we can work that out later." He guides me toward the booth and smiles at me. It's a wicked smile and I know that when he sends everyone home, we will be staying. He pats my bottom and I wink at him over my shoulder.

"Wait, what do you have so far? How's Big Love coming?"

"Yeah, Linds, tell her how it's coming" Mick says and I furrow my brow.

"What does that mean?" Lindsey scratches the back of his neck, one hand jammed into the pocket of his jeans.

"Uh..."

"Come on, let's have a listen." Mick gets up and plops into the chair Lindsey usually occupies. "Now let's see here..." I press a hand to Lindsey's chest and move to the board. Suddenly, Mick finally gets it and these hungry, sexual sounds, heavy drums and Lindsey's guitar fill the room. My jaw drops and Lindsey runs a hand through his messy hair.

"Is that...me?" My blood pressure is rising and I feel the heat rising from my body. My chest is red and splotchy and I don't know whether to scream or cry.

"Stevie...calm down." He looks around and the room clears out.

"How can I calm down? You recorded me, us!"

"I couldn't get you to come in and I thought, I thought you wouldn't be here today."

"You thought I would never find out?! Oh my god! How did you...why did you...?"

"Tape recorder in the nightstand. When we would..." I begin to pace, I don't know what to say. "I'm sorry"

"You're not sorry!" I shout, tears threatening to fall. "What a horrible, disgusting, disrespectful thing to do!"

"I distorted them. They don't sound like you at all anymore."

"You're a liar!" I pick up one of those rubber stress balls from the desk and throw it at him. "How dare you! What we do in our room is private!" My voice cracks and I take a moment to breathe. The room is spinning and I have to sit down.

"Are you okay?" he asks, a concerned expression on his face.

"Do I look okay?"

"No, you look sick."

"I am sick, Lindsey. I'm sick, I'm tired and I regret even coming here."

"I'm glad you came."

"I'm sure you are! Just so you could embarrass me, not just in front of our friends but the entire world. It's going on the record, isn't it?" He looks away. "I hate you!" I seethe. "I hate you!"

He looks shocked, maybe even hurt but I can't look at him for much longer than a second. I pick up my bag and storm out of the room. Once outside, I let myself cry, lighting my cigarette with shaky hands. I draw in a ragged breath, exhaling heavily. I lean against the brick wall, my arms crossed over my chest as I stare up into the inky black night.