The Dream Is Not Over

Twelve

The next morning, I wake up with Lindsey beside me. His bedhead alone is enough to make me fall in love with him all over again. A small sliver of light feeds through my black curtains and he turns his head, trying to avoid it. I comb my fingers through his curls, giggling as I watch him wrinkle his nose and sleepily cover one eye with his hand. He raises up on his elbows, closing one eye briefly so he won't be blinded and I giggle louder.

"Good morning."

"Good morning" I echo, stroking his cheek.

"You were..." By his expression, I know what he's going to say. I hold up a hand, silencing him.

"Don't say it. I don't want to talk about last night." I sit up, pulling the bedsheets up to my chest.

"Okay, then we don't have to. Can I ask you something about it? Then I will let it go." I bite my lip nervously, but I nod anyway. "Did you feel anything toward me, like when it was happening?" I cock my head to one side and he clarifies. "Did it mean something to you?" I nod again and he smiles a little. "Yeah, to me too. That's all I wanted to know."

"I know you're going to keep thinking about it." I begin. "And I can't tell you to stop but for me, it wasn't a mistake and it mean a lot to me. Last night, our problems melted away. I didn't remember that you had an apartment and would eventually have to go home to a place we didn't share. I didn't remember that we have been fighting for months and we've both said some really ugly things to each other. Last night was special, a once in a lifetime miracle and I was truly happy for the first time in a very long time."

"Once in a lifetime miracle, huh?" I nod and he gets out of bed. I watch him, confused. "Can I use your shower?"

"Sure."

"Thanks." He gathers up his clothes and tosses them into one pile in the corner of the room. He still has a few things here, plus he's probably got his suit and things for tonight in his car. I hear the water running and pull on a robe to start a pot of coffee downstairs. It's quiet and I smile softly, watching birds play outside my window. A small blue bird perched itself on the feeder, wings settling into a relaxed positions as it feasts. I put the kettle on to make tea for Olivia and myself when she wakes up. I look at the clock and realize it's early for me. It's only ten thirty. I continue to stare out my window, pulling the kettle off the burner before it sings and wakes everyone up. I pour hot water into my cup and look through my plethora of tea varieties. I stumble across my new custom tea made to aid in my pregnancy- ginger for nausea, dandelion and nettle for its vitamins and minerals as well as a few other things for flavor sake. I find my steeper and carefully scoop out just enough. I let it brew a little, putting in a little more than enough honey.

I take my first warm sip, feeling a presence in the room. "Linds?"

"No, River." he says and I turn around. I must be losing my touch.

"You felt just like your father." I remark and he makes a face.

"I'm not even going to ask what that means."

"Mind out of the gutter." He blushes. "Coffee?"

"Nah, I'll just drink water. I'm already nervous."

"About what?"

"Tonight. You know I'm not really a party person and it's all about Liv and I. We're the focus."

"But for the best reason. Love is something to celebrate."

"It's doesn't feel right, right now."

"Why? Are you guys okay?"

"We're better than ever, mom, but you and dad are having a really hard time. It feels wrong to have a party like this."

"Your father and I are fine, River. Please do not worry. You should be focusing on Olivia and giving me insight into what you'd like for your wedding. I'm still planning it, aren't I?"

"What if we just eloped? It would take some of the stress off you."

"I'm not under any stress. I'm very happy to be planning this with you. This party is going to be fabulous, I promise."

"I know it will be. It's a Stevie Nicks party."

"Hush." I say, gently pushing at his shoulder. He smiles.

"Thanks for all this." He hugs me and I'm careful not to spill tea on him from the force of his embrace.

"I thought I heard you down here." Olivia says, appearing out of nowhere. Her pajama shorts are tiny but not very revealing and she's wearing an oversized tee shirt, the hem pulled down and through the neckline to make it a crop top. Her hair is messy and voluminous from sleep and she's wearing thick black framed glasses. "Ooh I smell ginger!" River leaves us alone, settling in front of the tv. He keeps the sound down low, most likely flipping from station to station to find something good. He can never stay on one program long enough. Lindsey calls this condition "Chronic Flipitus".

"Good morning, honey. Would you like coffee or tea?"

"What are you having?"

"A tea that was blended for me."

"Let me guess." She reaches for my mug and takes a big whiff. "Hmmm...I was right about the ginger, nettle, dandelion...peach? No, orange blossom for flavor and a little lemon to mask that horrible nettle." I'm astounded. "You should think about adding red raspberry leaf to your blend in a few months." My eyes widen and she giggles. "My mom was a doula. She makes teas and tinctures. I could ask her to make you something, then you wouldn't have to pay so much, or anything at all."

"I don't mind."

"Nonsense, I want to help. It's the least I can do for all you've done for me. All I need is a week number so it will be perfectly suited to your needs." I blink, and she touches my shoulder. "Don't be shy."

"Twelve." I confess, watching as she places my tea cup down on the counter.

"Congratulations." she whispers, wrapping me in a warm embrace.