A New Year's Kiss (BoyxBoy)

16. You Want to Know How Things Have Been?

Jay

A week later and I'd barely left the flat. I hadn't been to the hospital and no one from the hospital had contacted me. Although I suppose they wouldn't have my number.

I was spending my days drinking and sleeping. I didn't want to face anyone. I hadn't even contacted Alex. And he hadn't even noticed I was missing.

I picked up my phone wondering whether I should text him, when it beeped in my hand. I had a message from Alex!

Hey what's up? I haven't seen you in a while?

I found it strange that he didn't know about my mum. How can something so life changing happen to one person, but the rest of the world carries on as if nothing has happened? Then again, I wasn't even sure if I believed it myself.

Before I could reconsider I texted him back:

My mum died

Almost straight away a text came back:

Are you joking? Because if you are that's not funny

I snorted a little at his text. The old Alex wouldn't have asked that. My best friend would have known I wouldn't say that if it wasn't true.

I threw my phone down onto the bed and went to get another drink. It was still early in the day and I didn't feel at all drunk. That needed to change, and quickly.

I was just about to sit down with my beer when the doorbell rang. Alex. He had come.

I felt a rush of emotion which took me by surprise. I felt relief. I felt so relieved that I wasn't on my own anymore.

I practically ran to the door and flung it open.

It wasn't Alex that stood there. It was my dad.

For a few seconds I couldn't move.

"Hiya son" my dad said, "I've heard about your mum. Can I come in?"

I'd played this scene over in my head a million times. The 'what I would say if my dad came back' scene. But this time it was different. This time there were 2 things I hadn't counted on when I'd played the scene out in my head. Firstly, I never thought my mum would be dead. And secondly, I didn't expect my dad to look like he did. He looked different. He looked....well....good.

Still not being able to find my voice, I just stepped to the side and let him in.

As we walked upstairs to the flat, my mind started to work things out. Of course, they were still married so he would have been my mum's next of kin.

My dad stopped at the door to the lounge and took in the scene before him. I hadn't really been in there since my mum died. It was just a corridor to the kitchen. I ate, slept and drank in my bedroom.

"Wow" my dad said as he stepped in the room, "I see she hadn't changed much."

"The same can't be said about you" I said back, bitterness clearly in my voice.

A reply like that would have earned me a cuff round the ear as a child, but now there was not one mark of irritation in my dad's face. In fact he just shrugged his shoulders and said, "that's true."

Without being asked, my dad started clearing a space on the settee and sat down, saying "son, I need to talk to you."

I looked at him for a few seconds, reacting to the weirdness of seeing my dad in my home again, sitting on the settee again, like he'd always been here.

There were so many things I wanted to say. So much I needed to say, but right now I needed something else more.

"Can we go to my room to talk?" I asked.