30. Smiling Again

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Leila Brown


I'd had a wonderful time staying with my sister and her family in London, but as always I was looking forward to getting back to work.

I thought myself very lucky, and very blessed to be able to say hand on heart that I loved my job.

I loved people, and I loved making a difference, and even though it was a tough job, it was an incredibly rewarding job too.

My mind drifted to Jay, just like it had done many times this last week. I had a bit of a sixth sense when it came to troubled teens and the day I met Jay I knew the instant I looked into his eyes that he had known more heartbreak and sorrow in his short life, than most of us would ever experience.

He'd come such a long way in the last few weeks, but I was worried that while I wasn't there to keep an eye on him, he might slip up. It wasn't easy stopping drinking overnight like he had done, and I was sure he was yet to ask for help.

He clearly wasn't sleeping properly either which was why I would sometimes leave him asleep next to Alex.

Yes, Alex. I wondered if he had woken up yet. I hoped not. Not that I didn't want him to get better, more like I wanted to be there when he did. I was afraid that he wouldn't take Jay being there too well, and so I wanted to be there to help the two build bridges. It was clear that Jay cared an awful lot about Alex, and in the long run, everyone needs friends like that in their life.

I had a slight suspicion that there was something more to their relationship than just friends. It was they way Jay would look at him sometimes, and the way he would fix his hair if it was looking a mess. And the tender way he would kiss his temple every time he left. When Alex woke up, I was sure I would be able to tell if my instincts were right.

I bumped into Alex's mum on my way up to the ward.

"Hi Leila, did you have a nice week off" she asked me.

I stopped in my tracks and looked her up and down.

"Something's happened hasn't it?" I said, noting her smile and change in body language.

Alex's mum laughed. "Damn it Leila, how do you do that? You're right, Alex woke up, and up to now things are looking positive."

"Hmm, I sense a 'but' to that sentence," I said, but still smiled at the good news.

Alex's mum raised her eyebrows and shook her head at me in disbelief.

"Yeah, you're right, but things are so much better than this time last week that I don't want to dwell on the negative."

"Don't be silly," I said reassuringly, "if it's bothering you, it's likely to be bothering Alex too, so I need to know so I can help fix it."

Alex's mum sighed in defeat. "It's his mood. He just seems really depressed and I've tried everything to pick him up, but nothing seems to work."

"It's perfectly normal for him to get a bit low after what he's been through, and it's still early days, but when you say you've tried everything, what do you mean?"

Alex's mum looked at me and smiled knowingly. She knew exactly what I was getting at.

"Yes, I've even tried using Jay to cheer him up, but if anything that seemed to make him worse."

I nodded at this but stayed silent. It was interesting that seeing Jay made it worse, but if anything it just raised my suspicions even more.

"Well let's see how this week goes," I said, trying to sound positive. "I'm sure between the two of us we can get him smiling again."

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