A New Year's Kiss (BoyxBoy)

23. Complete Meltdown

Jay

I woke up and immediately groaned at the pain in my back. God, why did I feel like I'd been run over by a bus?

That very thought was like a switch that turned on my brain to the events of yesterday, and the overwhelming feeling of shame hit me like a ton of bricks.

I looked round the small cell and saw that I had fallen asleep on the concrete floor which was why I felt so stiff and sore.

I didn't care though. I deserved worse.

I thought back to last night, the image of Alex bouncing of my windscreen playing over and over in my head.

After it happened, my body had gone into auto pilot. I didn't even realise where I was going until I was stood outside the police station. It was quite familiar to me, having been in there several times when I was younger.

The tears had continued to pour down my cheeks the entire way, but it wasn't until I'd spoken to the duty officer on the front desk and told them what had happened that I really broke down.

I'm talking complete melt down. I think that years and years of grief, anger, bitterness, hurt, loss, loneliness and a million other bottled up emotions just came pouring out of me.

I don't remember much after that. I was asked a few questions by another police officer, but I was in too much of a state to answer, so they threw me in the cell to sober up. I let out a small snort at the thought. They thought the uncontrollable crying was due to the booze. The fact I could feel another fresh set of tears pouring down my face, told me it wasn't.

It wasn't long before I was brought back into the interview room to be sat in front of the same guy again. This time I noticed a few things about him. Like how he had huge bags under his eyes, like he hadn't slept much last night. And his hair, which was brown with flecks of grey through it, was slightly dishevelled, like he had been anxiously running his hands through it.

I stared at him while he was organising his file. He looked slightly familiar.

"You do realise that the charges against you are very serious, and you should have a legal representative with you?"

"Yes I do, and like I said before, there's no point. I know what I've done and I'm willing to take the consequences."

The officer sighed. "So Jay," he said, "would you like to tell me what happened last night?" His voice sounded gravelly, like he could do with a good cough.

He finally looked up at me, and I remembered seeing him before. He had piercing light blue eyes which were hard to forget. He had interviewed me in this very room before.

I remembered he was always kind to me.....he told me this joke once.....I remembered telling it to Alex afterwards......Alex.......SHIT ALEX!!

"Please Sir, can you tell me how Alex is doing......is he....is he...." I couldn't bring myself to say it. I needed to know, had I actually killed him?

"It's Sergeant Hamilton, and why do you need to know that Jay? Is it so you know what sentence to expect?"

His eyes bore holes into mine, but I didn't flinch away from his glare.

"I'll take whatever sentence you give me. Hell, whatever it is, I deserve worse. I just need to know if my friend is ok?"

"Friend you say" Sergeant Hamilton said with a slight smirk, "is that how you treat all of your friends? If so, I think it's fair to say you won't have many left soon."