A New Year's Kiss (BoyxBoy)

44. Second Chances

Alex

I was so nervous. But I was excited at the same time. Tonight was the night. Tonight was the night that I was going to kiss my best friend. Tonight was the night when I was going to tell Jay how I really felt.

And yes, I knew it could all go wrong. And I knew that I was taking a big risk.

It wasn't that I didn't care about that, because I did. More than anything.

I knew that if it all backfired and Jay pushed me away, it would kill me. Not to mention the guilt I would feel about putting pressure on Jay while he was still so vulnerable.

But I had to do it. I had no choice.

If there was one thing that my accident taught me, it was that life wasn't a rehearsal. We weren't always lucky enough to get second chances. But I had. And I sure as hell was going to use it.

It was a risk, sure, but it was also a calculated risk. You see, I was pretty sure by this point that Jay must have some sort of feelings for me too.

It wasn't normal for friends to cuddle up to you in bed at night, was it?

And it was the way I constantly caught him staring at me. And then he'd blush. The Jay I used to know would never blush!

But even though I was fairly confident that Jay felt something more than friendship towards me, I still knew that tonight might not go as planned.

Just because he liked me, didn't mean that he would want to change things right now. Jay's year had basically been a rollercoaster of emotion and heartbreak, and I'm sure that right now, all he wanted was stability, not change.

But like I said before, I couldn't not try. I just had to tread carefully. Little baby steps so as not to freak him out.

And I was happy to take my time. Someone like Jay was worth the wait.

I checked the time.

7:55

Time to go.

I galloped downstairs, kissed my mum on the cheek and headed out with the keys to my mum's car in my hand.

I pulled up at Jay's and was about to get out of the car, when I saw him come out of the house.

Even in the dark my breath hitched at the sight of him. I was thankful for the fact I was still in my car so he didn't see my jaw drop to my knees.

He was wearing black jeans with rips going all the way down his legs, like a ladder, a white body hugging t-shirt, and a smart black jacket with grey trim, with the sleeves pushed up slightly. And on his feet, instead of his usual trainers, he was wearing black lace up boots with the top open and turned out.

I had to make a conscious effort to swallow my drool before he got in the car.

"Who are you and what have you done to Jay?" I asked as he got in the car.

I was trying to keep the mood light, to hide the fact that I was basically bricking it.

He smiled at me sheepishly. "My sister picked it out for me. Is it too much?"

"Nnn No" was all I managed to stutter out under the gaze of his gorgeous eyes.

I cringed at my inability to even form simple words. How was I supposed to form whole sentences to tell him how I feel?

We drove in silence as I cursed his sister for making him look even hotter than he already was. I cursed her because it meant I would probably act like 13 year old boy with a crush and mess everything up. And I cursed her because, looking like that, I knew that Jay would be getting a lot of attention tonight. Attention that I didn't want him to have. Attention that was going to make me incredibly jealous.