enemies (with benefits) » l.r.h || completed

prologue

Luke

I couldn't believe that she liked me. She's my best friend! You aren't supposed to like your best friend! At least, I thought you weren't supposed to. Everyone was making fun of her, and she kept glancing at me, silently pleading that I made them stop.

But I didn't.

I laughed along with them. I cracked jokes and pretended like I didn't want to be around her anymore. I scooted my desk away from her red face and continued to smile.

But it felt wrong. It felt so wrong. But I couldn't stop myself. I kept going with the jokes. I kept acting like I suddenly had no idea who she was. I kept hanging out with my new friends and whispered,"here she comes, probably to slip me a love potion" as she walked by. I'd look up at her face, a smile plastered on mine, and she was hurting.

She never looked at me much anymore. I had never truly seen her eyes completely after that. I didn't even see her in the few classes we had had together. She switched out of them. She created new routes to her new classes just to avoid me. Sometimes, when I was alone in between classes and I had happened to see her, her cheeks would be red and shiny, her lower lip trembled as she ran to the bathroom.

And I felt like shit. My heart dropped to the very bottom of my stomach. So hard. It was like dropping a heavy rock into a deep pool and waiting for it to hit the floor.

Often times I'd wait for her to come out, but she would be in there forever, and I'd leave in fear of getting yelled at by any teachers. But one time, I had stayed because it was lunch.

She ran out of the cafeteria because a few of my buddies had cornered her and started teasing her. I watched, my smile no longer there, and wished I could stop them. But I wouldn't let myself. When I knew none of my friends were paying attention, I ran out after her, trying to keep a distance and followed as she went to the bathroom. I walked down the hall a little ways, so it wouldn't be creepy having a 13-year-old boy standing by the girls' bathroom.

I kept peeking through the corner of my eye, just waiting for her to come out. I eyed the clock; It had been a good 7 minutes since I followed her out. Just as I was about to give up, I heard her sniffing and looked; She was wiping her eyes, evident that tears were still falling and she pulled her sleeves down.

She glanced down the right of the hall, making sure no one was there, then looked down the left and froze when her eyes met mine. I glanced down at her arm and she fisted the bottom of her sleeve. It was hot out, given that it was spring-going-into-summer time. I looked back up and her eyes were spilling tears again, her face turning red from trying to keep in her emotions.

I realized then what she had been doing. And I never wanted to admit it to myself. Because I'm the reason she did it. I had hurt her. And now, she had real scars to show for it. And I didn't know what to do.

She quickly ran away. Leaving me to stare with my mouth gaped in horror and my eyesight becoming blurry. That was the last time she had ever looked at me. And I regretted everything. I had hurt my best friend. I had destroyed her clean arms.

And the only thing I could do was stand there in silence, staring at the spot she had once stood, wondering if I could ever fix this mess.

But I had quickly found out that I would never get the chance, because she made it clear that she never wanted to see me, talk to me, not even hear my name ever again.

***

"We'll stay best friends forever, right Luke?" She asks me. We are standing in the middle of a playground in 6th grade, hiding under a tree because no one likes us.

"Always," I give her my smile that I know she loves, and I am gifted with her own. I hold out my pinkie for her, to which she links with hers instantly, her smile growing.

"Always?" She asks hopefully.

"Forever," I answer, holding her pinkie tight.

***

I regretted everything. I looked at her everyday since I found out she hurt herself. I looked at her all the way up until now, because in 7th grade, I paid her no mind. Now, I had to make up for it.

I watched as she got her things from her locker when a guy walked up to her. He smiled a little too big, and it made me angry. I didn't like the idea of Vanessa having a guy in her life that wasn't me. But why should it matter to you?

I thought she'd get over it in 8th grade, but no. She asked to switch all her classes the second day after she saw we had them together. She did that every year, except this year. We had one class together, but she slept in it all the time so no wonder she didn't change out of it. Her eyes were always shut so she'd never see me.

"Luke, what are you so mad about?" Brian asked, lightly shoving my shoulder.

"Hmm?" I looked at him, pulling myself out of my thoughts.

"Dude, if you're staring at Vanessa again, I swea-"

"Who is he?" I pointed to the guy and Brian turned around.

"That's Fletch," he responded, turning back around. "he's really interested in her. Might wanna do something to prevent that, don't you think?" Brian became my friend last year, after I dropped all of my old friends. They weren't even friends to me anymore. After I had seen that they never left Vanessa alone, I got away. She was hurt enough, and they didn't need to bother her anymore.

I never bothered to tell Brian about her & I's past, because I wanted to go into the school year fresh. Which I did. I was friendless freshman year, and I had been okay with that. Brian had moved here over the summer and I met him at guitar practice. I had a real friend again. He wasn't like Vanessa had been, but he held a close second.

The only thing he knew about Vanessa was that I had an interest in her. The difference between his theory in interest and mine was that I didn't like her like that.

"Luke, seriously, quit day dreaming," he shoved my shoulder again.

"Shut up," I mumbled, watching Fletch talk to Vanessa. I couldn't just force us to talk like we use to, so, I came up with the only thing that didn't ensure commitment, but did ensure that guys would leave her alone:

Friends with benefits.

The thing that made this hard was that we weren't friends. More so enemies.

Whoa, shit, where did that come from? I didn't get much time to dwell on it when Brian started snapping his fingers in my face.

"Lucas Robert, for fucks sake, go over there before she leaves," he shoved me forward and I stumbled a little, a couple girls walking by and giggled at me. I stood up straight and shot them a wink, causing their cheeks to turn bright red.

The advantages of finally getting hit with puberty.

Hopefully it would work on Vanessa.

But it's gonna suck to have to keep this "I hate you" charade with her, because I don't know how long I can go pretending to feel what I don't truly feel.

I found myself leaning against the locker, a smirk playing across my face. "Vanessa Tilley." Her entire frame froze, her muscles tensing. I lowered my head and chuckled darkly, surprising myself of my sudden change in moods.

"What do you want, Hemmings," she spat, finally looking at me for the first time since that day in 7th grade. I looked up and lost my composure for a millisecond. Apparently I wasn't the only one that got ran over by the puberty bus.

Her round face smoothed out, her skin was flawless, and she actually had her hair curled instead of leaving it straight. And damn did she have a body. Curves in all the right places and I think I stared a little too long. I looked back up at her eyes, which were a deep green, filled with anger as she glared at me, helping bring my smirk back.

"I just want to make a small proposal to you."

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Twitter: @lukesenemies