enemies (with benefits) » l.r.h || completed

sixteen

Luke

It seemed that summer was flying by. That I barely spent any time with Vanessa at all. But really, we've spent a good three months together and we were ready to start out senior year fresh. Everything would be brand new, we'd graduate together, then go on with our lives.

College wasn't in my plan, and Vanessa was on the fence about it. She was stressing about trying to find a job because she had turned 18 about a week ago and her mom wasn't going to fund her for much longer. It was hard enough with me working and trying to find days that Vanessa and I could actually do something together. Once she gets one, it'll be agonizing trying to mix with each other's schedules.

"What if I worked with you?" She asked, plopping down in my lap.

"You know they have a strict 'no relationship amongst the employees' policy," I reminded her, wrapping my arms around her.

"But we probably wouldn't even have any shifts together," she continued. "that way we can keep our hands off of each other." I chuckled, rubbing my thumb on her arm.

"I can see if they need any new staff," I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "excited about senior year?"

"Not really," she said, resting her head on my shoulder. "it's gonna be dumb, just like the other 11 I was in."

"Good point. But the parties will be even more fun. And we'll be apart of senior pranks and senior skip days and seniors can leave early-"

"So basically you're excited for the fun?" Vanessa cut me off, smiling up at me. I nodded, smiling big and she laughed. "This year counts the most, Luke. Don't you want to leave a good impression?"

"The only thing I want to leave is high school," she rolled her eyes, cuddling into me. "what? You act like you love going."

"I don't, but this is our last year to have people help us, to become who we are. Doesn't that scare you?" I thought about it, absentmindedly playing with her shirt. It actually does scare me.

"A little. But why would you get so overwhelmed over it? It's just another year of high school."

"Our final year," she corrected me. "and I want to actually see if I can better myself, figure out who I am, if I will make it in the world." Her voice lowered, almost to a whisper.

"V?" She looked up at me. "Are you scared?"

"Of what?"

"Of growing up, leaving everything behind to start somewhere new, to begin the rest of your life out in the world?" Vanessa's face paled as she sat in thought, chewing the inside of her cheek. Seeing the color had drained so quickly from her face indicated that she in fact was terrified of growing up. "Why would you be scared?" I asked softly, hugging her close.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Her voice was small. "It's the end of being an irresponsible teenager. Mom won't be there to clean up my messes. I won't be able to just give up when it gets hard because no one will be there to help me."

"I will be," I whispered, a little hurt. "I'll be there the whole time. I promised you that." I kissed the top of her head, pulling her as close as humanly possible into me. I was afraid to let her go now.

"But what if you're not?" Her voice cracked. "What if you leave me again?" She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, small black smudges appearing on her skin. "I definitely wouldn't make it if you were gone." I still didn't understand how we came to the conversation we were having, but I was feeling a heavy weight on my chest that wouldn't leave.

"I'd never do that to you. Not a second time. Not when I finally earned your trust back," I kissed her cheek, taking her hand. I watched her fingers intertwine with mine, and how easily they fit together. Her tiny hand enclosed in mine, it was a sight I never grew tired of seeing. Her cheeks gained color again, but she still looked incredibly hurt. I started singing the only Calum Hood song I liked for her, because I knew it calmed her down.