twenty six

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Michael

It's like seeing the brightest ray of light shining down from the sky standing right in front of you. A ray of light dressed in jeans and a pale blue t-shirt in the middle of August with a ponytail thrown over her shoulder. Green eyes brighter than any I have ever seen. Whenever they even so much as glance at me, I stop breathing and my heart skips twice.

How can someone so young be so beautiful? How can someone I have never met before have all of my attention like I've known them my entire life? How can I be in love at 12 years old? How can I even know what love is?

She starts walking my way and I don't know until she is face-to-face with me.

"Hi," her tiny voice speaks to me and she smells faintly of mint and vanilla.

"Hi," I take a tiny step back, her scent intoxicating.

"Why were you staring at me?" Her question catches me by surprise, and I can't answer for a moment. I blink, staring at her face. Her cheeks are pink, freckles scatter across her nose, and her blonde hair is falling across her face. She is flawless.

"I think you're pretty," I mumble, my head falling.

"I think you need glasses," I look up at her and I almost throw up my heart. Her smile is so beautiful, I could stare at it all day. I'd say every terrible joke I knew to keep that smile on her face.

I shake my head. "N-No, I definitely don't. Maybe to see you even more. But not because I'm wrong." I swallow my heart back down, wiping my hands on my jeans. This girl is making me nervous, but I can't waste another minute not having her in my life.

"Well," her face turns entirely red, and she fiddles with the bottom of her shirt. "thank you."

"What's your name?"

"Vanessa," her voice drops to slightly above a whisper. Vanessa starts biting her nails, her eyes diverting to the floor.

"I'm Michael," I duck my head, ashamed of my sudden shy state.

"Will you be my friend? My best friend isn't in class with me and I need someone," her dazzling green eyes look back up at me. I nod, slightly disappointed that I couldn't be her 'best friend'.

"I'll be your friend," I smile, offering a hand. She looks down at my hand then back up at me. "You shake it."

"I don't shake hands," she hugs herself. I smile softly then mimic her.

"I understand," and she smiles her radiant smile again. "I like seeing you smile."

"Well, you make me smile."

***

I sighed, looking at my phone every minute. Vanessa hasn't texted me since Luke was on her phone and caught my text to her. I was terrified that maybe she won't talk to me ever again.

"Michael?" Mom called up to me. "Michael, someone is here for you!"

"Tell them I'm in no mood!" I threw a pillow over my face.

"She said it was important!" I shot up, running downstairs in hopes of it being Vanessa. As I made it to the bottom of the stairs, I was met with the familiar green eyes I had fallen in love with seven years ago.

"Hey," I breathed, taking in her stressed out appearance. Her hair was in disarray and her cheeks were flushed pale and lips were chapped and scarred from being constantly chewed on. I glanced at Mom, trying to signal her to leave the room.

"Sweetie, have I met you before?" She ignored my silent plea and turned her full attention to Vanessa.

"We might have," her voice was soft and shy. She hid her face behind her hair and I wanted to push it away so I could see her. "I am an old friend of Michael's."

"I'm Karen," Mom smiled, holding her hand out for her. Vanessa looked down at her hand then back up at her. She hesitated then forced her hand in Mom's. My eyebrows shot up in surprise. I mean, she still looked incredibly uncomfortable, but I've never seen her shake someone's hand before.

"Vanessa," she forced her smile, and my heart dropped to my feet. I knew whatever she was here for wasn't going to be good. "I won't be staying long." She pulled her hand back and hugged herself. Despite her disappointing statement, she looked exactly as when I met her. She even had a pale blue shirt on and a pair of jeans.

I wasn't sure if I could fall more in love with someone, but if I could, I did. "Uhm, Vanessa?" She looked up at me. I nodded upstairs toward my room and she nodded, making her way up. I followed after her, closing the door behind us and carefully sitting down on my bed.

"Uhm, Michael," she took a shaky breath, biting on her nails. I felt my face get hot and I felt my heart go through the floor. "I have to tell him." My eyes widened and I absentmindedly put an arm over my stomach.

"Vanessa," I attempted, but she started shaking her head. "no, no Vanessa we can't." I stood up, going towards her. She took a step back and I kept trying to get close to her. She didn't stop until her back hit the door and she was covering her face.

"Michael, I can't do this," she wiped under her eyes and looked up with glassy green ones I had never seen before. I cupped her face, rubbing small circles on her burning cheeks.

"Vanessa, we'll stop, just-" I choked on my words, tears welling up heavily. "d-don't tell him." She took a deep breath and buried her cheeks farther into my palms. Tears leaked onto my skin and I was at my breaking point. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into the tightest, most protective hug I could manage.

"Michael, I can't lie to him," her voice was muffled by my chest and vibrated against it. I shook my head, trying not to hug her tighter in fear of breaking her.

"V-"

"No!" She lightly pushed me off of her. "Michael, I do love him! I was just in a bad place when I did that with you!" Her face was a deep red now.

"So, what? You regret it?" I surprisingly stayed calm.

"No! No, I-" she cut herself off, raking both her hands through her hair. She looked around, as if thinking about what she was going to say. She shook her head, fisting her hair.

"Vanessa, you need to calm down," she looked at me, fire burning in her eyes.

"Calm down? Calm down?! Do you think this is something I can just blow over? I am potentially ruining my relationship that I tried so hard to get to save your sorry ass from getting beat!"

"What relationship?!" I screamed. Vanessa's darkened eyes shot open. "All I hear is how shitty he treats you for having guy friends! How he didn't want anything to do with you when you were younger because you weren't cool enough! He has been an asshole to you almost his entire life and you're going back to him like it's okay!"

"I never said it was okay!" She screamed, the fire burning brighter. "I have been in love with him since I was 12 years old!"

"Well, I've been in love with you since I was 12 years old!" I mocked. She froze, her mouth gaped and staring up at me. "I loved you for everything you are and everything you had ever been and I thought you were the most beautiful son of a bitch that ever walked this Earth!" My chest heaved, my whole body was on fire, my heart was shattered.

"Michael," her voice was shattered, her head was hanging. I grabbed her face, making her look at me. Her jaw clenched against my palms, and her eyes searched mine.

"Look me in the eye right now and tell me it didn't feel right when we did it," I whispered. She swallowed, her eyes shining. "say it." She shook her head, averting her gaze down from me.

"It'd be a lie," she muttered, her eyes meeting mine again. In a split second, her hands were on my shirt and she pulled me into her, her lips on mine. I pulled away, long enough to look at her tear-stained cheeks.

"Why are you doing this?" I whispered, wiping under her eye.

"I need someone."

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