Noodle Boy | Jachary | Book One

Thirty-Three

Surprise Chapter

Dismiss the first half. I was expressing feelings. Yes, after writing all of that and not shedding a tear, I have feelings. But yeah. First half might be crap.

Zach

People know me. And they know that when something bad happens, to anyone, I will go with them. To see how it all goes. But for Jack, I did the total opposite.

I went home.

When I got home, I immediately grabbed a duffel and filled it with what I needed, grabbed the car keys, and immediately went back out to the car to drive. Drive to my family. Because somehow, I thought they could help forget what I did.

But when I got there, I realized that they didn't help at all. It only felt worse, because I caused my mom and family pain too.

They cared about Jack a lot. Like a second brother/son while I had feelings for him. Yet there he was, dying in a hospital about 1500 miles away.

I didn't want to see him go. And I didn't want anyone there to remind me.

So I blocked everyone's number, guessing that it would keep me away from the problem. That when I seemed like I could face it, I could actually do that.

But, somehow, I know I will never be able to do that.

I sighed as I rubbed my eyes. They have been leaving tears for two days; the days it took me to get here.

My eyes have been watering the earth because of him.

I can't say his name. At all. My mom attempts to mention it, but she can see how hurt I get. She can see that my heart is physically breaking. All because he had to be brave enough to save me.

And what for? I was worthless. I didn't deserve to be saved.

If everyone was going to leave my world at some point, I might as well make the pain less by leaving first.

And that is what sucks. You attach yourself to someone and when they are gone you hurt and hurt and hurt some more because you chose to love them. You chose to have them in your life and you should have known they would leave at some point.

I can't see his face, I can't hear his name, it even hurts thinking about him because he could have left me.

I watched as my mom sat down next to me and wrapped her arms around me. I copied her actions, and I felt another fit of cries come up.

She was the only thing keeping me on the edge of quitting.

And quitting what, you say? Well, life is a game, and to some people it is the easiest. And to others, to me, it is the worst game ever. And there is no way to quit except for choosing to quit yourself. After all, it seems as if it is only your choice in others eyes.

He was dying. And I should be dying too.

Matter of fact, I should be the one dying instead.

But he had to be big and mighty. He had to take it into his own hands and choose to save me when in reality, he should have left me. Then I wouldn't have to say goodbye.

I had a good life, as I said before. I had an amazing life but that would either end sooner or later, and it almost ended sooner.

When I got there, my mom asked me why I left. And I told her that I didn't want to run to the problem I made. That I specifically caused because my dumbass didn't move out of the way.

I ran to my mom because it was more of my father's fault, the more I think about it. He was the one who held a grudge against me and my sexuality.

And for Eli, it was a crash. I wasn't involved in anyway.

But for him, I was the reason he was dying.

I don't even know his status. He could be dead.

Anyone who cared for me and loved me would end up in tragedy or death.

My father was right.

But I don't understand how. Jack didn't care about me. Only as a friend. Nothing more.

And that is what hurt the most.

That he only sees me as a friend. Makes me much more worthless to have die.

I sighed and kissed my mom on the cheek and stood up. If I was going to live, I had to make the most of it.

And I knew exactly where I would start.

—
Corbyn

I shook my head as I stared at Jack. He was unhealthily pale, and didn't even look like him.

He had his arm wrapped in bandages, and a faint spot of blood, telling you they should probably be changed. He has woken up a few times, but the doctors though he should sleep while healing for the first week.

I was sitting on a chair next to his bed. Every day, Jonah, Daniel, and I would change who sat in the room with him. We would rather have one of us than one of the doctors. Then at least he knew a familiar face when he awoke again.

Tour had been canceled. And that doesn't help that we can't get ahold of Zach. He was nowhere to be seen, probably home, and I can understand that. It is not everyday that someone you have feelings for gets hurt.

But I was afraid. Knowing Zach, he would do something stupid. So I made sure to keep in contact with Myta. But that doesn't help much because anytime she mentions Jack, he runs off or tells her to stop.

I heard a groan from the bed and I came back to reality. I watched as Jack tried to yawn and stretch, but he winced instead.

"Hey, noodles." He gave a soft smile and turned to me.

"Hey, Corbyn." He said with a groggy voice. I had been in here one time before when he woke up, but a doctor was in here and told me to leave as he put him back to sleep.

He sighed. "Corbyn?"

"Yeah Jack?" I ask.

"Why do I never wake up with Zach in here?" He asks.

I pause. "He went out of town."

"To where?" He asked.

"We don't really know."

"What do you mean you 'don't really know'?" He asked, getting a suspicious and angry tone.

"He up and left when the accident happened-"

"Have any of you looked for him?" He asked.

"No."

"When why not?" He asked.

"We don't know where he is-"

"You could just look for him anyways." He took a deep breath. "Why did he leave anyways?"

"His mom said it is because he thinks it is his fault." I said quietly.

"That doesn't mean he should just up and run. If he thought it was his fault, which I am not saying it is, he should have tried helping the problem." He sighed. "I mean, he shouldn't be that hurt about it. All he sees me as is a friend-"

I chuckled. It was a reflex because I knew he was wrong.

"What?" Jack asked. I shook my head.

"Jack, I'm going to say something. And you have to promise me not to freak out. Or to go and get out of this bed." I said cautiously.

"Okay..." he said.

Zach is going to hate me.

——
Oof. I bit my tongue and it hurts. And fun fact: I never spell tongue right. Ever. Underline squiggle/zipper looking things help me a hell of a lot.

Word Count: 1288