Noodle Boy | Jachary | Book One

Forty

Zach

I have been lazy these past few days, never leaving my room, only at night. I was basically nocturnal now.

But I had to break out of that habit because we were going to be making music soon.

So here I was, sitting at the table very tired because I wasn't sleeping like I normally would. And it didn't help that I wasn't looking up but down at my plate through the whole breakfast because I didn't want to catch Jack's eye. I was also getting help from the others by them always being around me or Jack.

"Zach," Corbyn said. "Pass the syrup please." I grab it and hand it to the blondie, making sure not to look anywhere other than him due to Jack sitting right next to him. He sends me a small thanks and I go back to eating my meal.

As I finish the last piece of my waffle, I stand up and walk over to the sink, washing off the plate for the sake of Daniel's OCD. My feet carried me into the living room and I gazed out the glass sliding door.

I felt stuck. Stuck in a place I didn't need to belong in. The others acted as if I was hardly here and that they could be better off without me. I felt useless like I was only needed for music. But I had the constant reminders of hugs and always happy comments to me from the boys that made me feel like I actually did have a reason to stay. And that was for them.

I brought my hand up and opened the door, taking a step into the air I haven't felt in a while. It was cleaner than the other air in the streets, and the air in my room wasn't that much different than the streets. The air here was crisp and calming, and it helped you clear your mind.

As I walked over to a rock, I contemplated how Jack reacted to it. He probably hates me, but there is a small chance. Probably smaller than a speck of dirt on my white shoe. Because I knew Jack. He was too easy to fall in love, and in my opinion, to easy to fall in love with. And someday, that will kill us both because the person we love will leave. In the end, we are only on our own.

It felt sad, to be honest. I didn't want the end for any of us because when the end comes you are alone. And I can't bear to be on my own. If I was, I would be dead already, not living it with all of my best friends.

We all had our stories, and in some people's opinion, their's could matter more than someone else's when in reality the other is way, way worse. Horrid. But we have been through different things, and that is the same with us five.

I remember the night Daniel told me about his past. When I took it in, it was harsh too. He was teased, bullied, which drove him to be depressed. It wasn't something you would see from Daniel, but it was how he was. He was bipolar, and he always had a mask covering his face. His family tried to help but only made it worse. He would come home telling them that he was called too skinny, so he began to eat a lot. Then when he came to school, he was called fat and then he starved himself, and soon was claimed to be too skinny for his age, and was forced to eat.

When he started to get better was when he went on American Idol, he was happy. He could finally do what he wanted to do. And now, as he got older, his attitude changed and is as happy as could be.

It was hard. The first few nights, we got to know each other, and everything surrounding ourselves. Our family, past, and everything you would to a best friend. We all knew most of each other's secrets. And it felt nice to know they always had my back.

"Zach." A voice said behind me. I mentally cringed and looked back, and met eyes with Jack. It was the first time in a while, and it felt nice to actually see him. He wasn't as mad as I thought, but actually, he looked a little scared.

"Um, yeah?" I asked quietly, averting my gaze to the ground. I didn't want to talk to him right now, but his presence was a great feeling.

"Zach, about a few weeks ago-"

I sighed. "I don't want to talk about it." It was true because I didn't want to get hurt by him even more. He has hurt me a lot more than I have him, and it was because he was ignorant.

"I'm not mad Zach," he said. I looked up at him and shook my head, giving out a half-hearted laugh.

"You should be." I uttered. "You should be mad that I like you. You should be mad that I put you through this. You should be mad that I had to go and mess up your life-"

All of a sudden, Jack launched himself at me. I tumbled off of the rock, but I didn't fell the pain. It was masked up by the feeling I was getting.

It felt amazing, and it made me forget the world. Forget that I was totally ignoring him, and all the scars we both had. I just only had him.

--

Life can be amazing, but it is the way you look at it. You just need to wipe the tears off of the telescope you are looking through, friend. It makes you wonder what life can lie beyond what you have. It could be magically amazing in the end.

The air I breathe is foul,
For it has seen everything.
It has heard the cries of the broken,
And the prayers of those who wish holy.
It moves aside for the tears,
That drip down into something that air one took up.

Air holds more than memories than all brains combined,
For it remembers because it sees the same every day.
And it tries to forget,
Centuries on end,
While ours take only years.

Our air is foul,
Because it holds our memories.
And in every breath you take,
They are filled with them again.

-Amber

--
I love you guys. So much. Oh, and by the way, that way my poem I made. I think it is eh. But anyways, see you Thursday, also known as February 1st, also known as WERE GETTING THE DAMN ALBUM!!

Oh, by the way, I love meeting you guys on twitter and DMing you guys. It is amazing when I randomly joined a group chat, and someone knew me by me telling a story. It was amazing, and you know who you mean.

BY THE WAY, THIS IS NOT THE END!!

Word Count: 1168