Criminal Affinity [18+]

Chapter 44

  Can't take the fire.
'Til you've fallen from grace.

| Dark Nights - Dorothy |

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Ivan flickers the lights on but Ava doesn't flinch. She stands steady, eyes on him. He looks so beautiful it makes the tear in her heart worsen. Confused, his eyes wander her body once before settling hard on hers.

"I'm not leaving you like this." He says.

Ava scowls, fisting her hands so he can't see the tremble in them. "Read the room, Roman. I don't want to be around you right now."

Ivan flinches at the mention of his name, sending a ripple of shock through her. She is despicable for using that against him. She is every ugly thing he has ever called her in this second. She didn't even ask if it's okay to call him that. He just laid out his past to her after she begged him to, and now she's kicking him out.

The oily, suffocating guilt turns from sorrow to fury because he refuses to look away. "Is it what I said?"

"No." Yes. Yes, it is. Because Ava is so much of a fucking coward that she can't bear the thought of Dale being a fucking monster. Because she is fucking selfish and can't see past her own pain. She can't stomach the possibility that she was nothing to Dale. She can't breathe past the notion that he might have killed her parents.

"Then tell me." Ivan lays his hands forward, a clear display of vulnerability, one that Ava is never going to see again. But Ava doesn't look at them or him anymore. Only the door. "What did I do?"

The question hits her like a bullet, almost causing her resolve to crumble. "Get the fuck out of my sight, please."

He doesn't flinch this time. His dark eyes swirl with one emotion: defeat. They flash before freezing to the core. She watches Ivan slips off and William Chevalier's cold calculation regards every inch of weakness she's put on display, confirming all her worst fears and sending a chill through her.

Apologize. Thank him for sharing his pain. He shows you kindness when you broke. Do the same for him.

Ava does nothing as he picks up his belt and straightens to his kingly height. It's a menacing sight, his emotionless eyes, his shut-off demeanor and the cruel angles of his face. A part of her knows what he's thinking, but she refuses to acknowledge it.

All this time she believed Ivan was the monster, the villain. If she was in his position, she would have done the same to Ava. She would have conquered the person that got everything she was promised. He still managed to treat her like a human.

He's better than she could have ever hoped to be.

Ivan slides on his boots and picks up his blazer. He looks like a god and Ava is nothing but a runt.

"I thought you were better than this." Ivan's voice is nothing like it was moments ago, making her insides crumble. But all she's doing is making him suffer for the truth. For breaking her world. For ruining her life, as if what Dale did to him was his fault.

"I'm not." She says.

His nod is the final blow. "If you want to run, go. I won't waste my time on you."

And then he leaves. Her lungs deflate in a hiss, eyes dry and heart heavy. She climbs into bed, his spot still warm. Ava splays her palm over it once before turning the lights off. An unreasonable part of her wishes he would come back, that he just didn't leave, that he deployed his tyranny and demanded to stay.