Death of the Perfect Girl

34- The Conscious Hater

Sadie walked into Pearce's classroom and shut the door. He sat at his desk like he usually did.

"You know," he chuckled," I might have to start hanging out in the teacher's lounge if you keep coming here like this."

Sadie pursed her lips and walked over him. She looked at the book he was reading then she looked at him. "I don't think everyone hates me anymore."

Pearce smiled. "That's good because I was praying that one day you would realize that-"

"I know that they hate me," Sadie frowned.

Pearce stared at her, his light of hope blowing out. "Sadie-"

"I'm not trying to a bad person. I mean...half of the time in being nice to everyone."

Pearce looked away.

"I just don't get it. People prefer a fake person over a real one. Why?"

Pearce furrowed his brows. "What do you mean?"

"They like the Sadie they see on youtube and they support me. They watch my videos and everything. But the moment I talk to them they get... scared."

"I thought you like it when they're afraid of you."

Sadie shrugged. "I do. But it's only because that's the only way I get respect. If they weren't afraid of me, I can guarantee you that I would never have friends like I do now. I would've been bullied just like every other kid."

Pearce shut his book. "So you admit that the friends you have are only your friends out of fear?"

"...What?"

"You just told me that if you weren't seen as scary by everyone else you wouldn't have had friends. You said you would have been bullied. What about those friends? Have you ever thought that maybe they're your friends because they're afraid of the same thing?"

Sadie looked at her shoes with furrowed brows.

"Sadie, I'm not old, but I'm not young either and when I was in high school, even though we had the internet, no one made youtube channels. We didn't think that was cool. We thought making Facebook accounts without our parents' permission was cool. So that's what we did. And almost everyone had one. That was where the rumors and the gossip would spread around. The people who were popular and well liked got attention- blah-blah-blah. You know."

Sadie giggled.

"But this is different. Your situation is completely different. You have followers from all around the world. You have people who support you the minute you screw up. Especially, the younger ones. The other kids here don't have that. Some of them don't even want that. But you have a power that a lot of them are afraid of. You can destroy a person with one video."

Sadie felt the corner of her lips curve slightly upwards.

"And with that kind of power-"

"Comes great responsibility," she giggled.

"No," Pearce raised his brows with serious eyes. "Comes fear. The students here don't want to be around you because they feel like the moment they slip up, you'll talk about it online."

Sadie's smile faded.

"The amount of love people get from your videos is twice the amount of hate you get. Because different people come across your videos and hear what you say. And what I've noticed is that in society today, people don't like quiet. They like choas. They like to be the ones hurting others and not the ones getting hurt. So, the moment they find out who who you talked about in a video is they find that person and torture them. Because most people today like disorder and if you make a person look like a criminal or a bad person, they feel no shame in torturing them."

"So...you're saying people feel better about themselves when they hurt bad people?"

"I'm saying they find temporary pleasure in doing it. Do you ever feel good after you've hurt someone?"

"No." "Not really. I mean...I don't know."

"Whether a person is bad or good it's never satisfying to get revenge. That's why I always forgive. Forgiveness doesn't mean it's okay and befriend the person. You can forgive and stay away. But hurting the person never really feels good because it has its consequences."

Sadie hadn't heard a word he said. "Thank you," she smiled at him. "Also, I've already learned all of my lines for the play."

Pearce nodded. "That's great. Make sure that Mason does also."

"Will do." Sadie turned and walked out of the room. She smiled. She always knew that she could destroy a person with the amount of followers she had but she never really cared. Now she did.