Miraculous Selection

You Need to Go

Marinette's POV

I couldn't. I couldn't choose. What Adrien was asking of me was too much. I loved him, and I loved Nathanael. After Adrien left, I buried my face in my hands and cried. When my maids cam back, they didn't question my messed up mascara or the tear-stained pillows. 

I pulled myself together for dinner. The table was much more awkward, with only four of us left. I wanted to, but I refused to look him in the eye. 

I realized what I needed right now was a friend. The only person I could think of right now was Alya. But she wasn't at dinner. I had been to her quarters before, so I excused myself and went to her room. 

She wasn't there. Her maids told me she was in the gardens, and that's where I went. I spotted her curly brown hair and tanned skin quickly. I sat next to her.

"Hey." I looked at her smiling, but it disappeared when I saw the smeared eyeliner on her face. Had she been crying?

Her hands shot to her cheeks and tried to wipe the tears away. "What are you doing here?"

"I-I came looking for you." I said. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Fine." She said stiffly. My eyes softened. "You can tell me you know?"

She studied my face, as if she was reading my soul. "It's him." She blurted out.

"Who? Adrien?"

"Yes, I don't know. He wasn't what I..."

"Did he do something to you? Say something?"

"No, he's been perfect. Really sweet and...it's just, I don't think I love him. I don't think I can."

Ahh. So that was it. "Have you been trying to?"

She shook her head. "So hard."

She cried into my shoulder as I stroked her hair. But a very dark side of me was thankful she didn't love him. Then I noticed the thought of him loving anyone else sent me into worry. 

That night I dismissed my maids and dived into my sheets. I prayed Nathanael wouldn't come. He was the last person I wanted to see right now. Despite my wishes, the knob twisted and the door creaked open. 

Nathanael left the door open as he began to walk towards me. When I reminded him to close it , he said. "No. This way, if someone comes,I'll tell them I heard something and was checking on you. It's my job."

I tensed up as he climbed onto my bed. He started to close the gap between us, but I sat up straighter and pushed myself back, creating more distance. "Stop."I said weakly. "You need to go."

The hurt in his eyes was obvious, but the anger was more so. "What?"

"I can't do this. I can't." I shook my head. "Nathanael, that night that you left me, you crushed me."

"I know. I said I was-"

"Let me finish." I said, and he huffed in reply. "You also crushed the bridge between us, the bond. You crushed the thing that led me to you. And that bridge will be very hard to rebuild. Need I say it's impossible to rebuild."

"So were you lying,then? When you said that you didn't love him?" Nathanael asked defensively.

Shoot. What could I say now? "I may not love him, but that doesn't mean that I love you. Sure, I still have feelings for you, but not like that."

Then I smiled to myself. "And I'm going to try to build another bridge this time, to a different location."

Nathanael grunted, then nodded and smiled. "Very, well then. I'm still trying to get to you, Mari. I'm not going to give up."

I nodded, and exhaled. "Goodnight, Officer Kurtzberg."

"Goodnight, Lady Marinette."