Gone

Chapter 19 - Unresolved Feelings

FLASHBACK:

"He deserved it. Oh no. Wait. Wrong move" It was visible that my rational part of my brain had two very diferent oppinions.

His lips were in a hard line. He didn't say anything, frighting me a bit.

He started moving slowly towards me and I backed away slowly untill I hitted a damn tree. I though this tree wasn't here.

He placed his hands on the tree so I couldn't get out.  He came closer and closer untill the space between us was barely real and then did an unexpected thing. I really thought about several different sceneries this could went down, but I didn't think of this. "How didn't we thought of this?" 

"He's unpredictable. Nice move"

He slowly grabbed my waist and pulled me even more towards him and painfully slow, he kissed me.

CURRENTLY:

I swear my brain just stopped for a moment. 

"Well I was not expecting that." If my mind could blush, it would be beyond red.

Neither was I.

Instinctively I slapped him. Again. And then kissed him. Again.

What the bloody hell am I doing?

This time the could was deeper, stronger. He was firmly grabbing my waist and my neck, I could feel the heat coming from his body. Things were heating up quickly but, then once more, the rational voice screamed, pulling me into reality.

"Last time I checked you didn't break up with Nick, so why are you having an heated make out session with Damien?"

-We should better stop. This is wrong in every level. - I spoke, breaking the kiss.

-Probably is the best.- Damien agreed with me. Awkwardness settled in between us, but it didn't last long - We should get going Nick wants to explain some things to you.

Nick. 

The smile on my face disapeared. I haven't thought about him yet. Whatever his excuses are, they aren't enough.If he thinks he's going get us back, he has to work hard.

We still took a long time to get in the car. The car was so far...Not anymore. I ran to the car and Damien followed me. We got into the car. He started the engine and gave me a quick naughty smile and pointed towards the food.

I was starving. I ate it all up real quickly. Situation that made Damien chuckle. The car rides with him were always quiet and smooth.

-I'm still mad at you.Why didn't you tell me he was alive?Why didn't you tell me he worked with you?

I watched carefully every movement he made. He gripped the steering wheel tigherand his implied smile disappeared from his face. His lips were more red than before. A moment passed before he speaked up. I noticed he was trying to calm himself.

- We did it to protect you.I'm sorry if it isn't the answer you wanted. - He confessed, I knew he was saying the truth but I was internally boiling from all the building anger - We arrived. I'm going to stay in the car.

-What if I need help?

-Nick isn't going to hurt you, and you're safe with him.If you need me call me. - Damien said emotionless.

I left the car.

I could fell myself getting nervous as I walked towards Nick's house.Memories floading my mind. I wasn't here since the alleged death. I couldn't bring myself to enter the house without crying after he died.

Now, it was a different story. I wanted to get in, but I didn't know how would I react when I saw him. My emotions were scattered in the wild wind. I was angry and it wasn't helping much.

Finally I entered the house, I looked to the living room and I saw him clearly,which has not happened for a long time.He was leaning against the wall, head tilted to the side. I was discreetly bitting my bruised lip, trying to keep the tears from falling.

He looked at me knowing I was upset.

-Jade. - he did a long pause before speaking again- How have you been? - He said trying to move a little bit the subject. It just made me get more angry at him

 -I was better without you. - I felt mad at myself for saying that. I still loved him, but I was fighting against it.

- I'm sorry I hurted you. I did it to....- I didn't let him end end his sentence.

-Oh you're sorry?! Well I'm sorry for the nights I spent awake crying for you, for the night outs I missed because of being too occupied thinking over and over again about that moment when you were shot in front of me.I am even more sorry I met you! Why didn't you tell me what was going on? Why did you have to pretend your death in front of me? - I noticed I was crying when I felt salty water burning on my lips, I hated that kind of anger. The one you start crying making you feel weak.

- I did it to protect you. I had to die in front of you so they could believe I was really dead and wouldn't be after you. - He said with his eyes sparkling from worry , love and a bit of disappointment. - Don't cry please love. I don't like to see you crying.

-Don't call me love. Just don't. I'm not your love anymore. I have someone. - I told, teasing him. It worked.  

 His gaze changed. "He's angry."

He quickly walked towards me and pushed me against the wall.

- Are you going to deny you're still in love with me? Do you really want to play that game?- He said trapping me against the wall and stepping even closer to me. Our lips were a inch, if so, apart, which made me forget about how angry I was and lose grip on my breath.

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