Gone

Chapter 42 - Haunted

FLASHBACK: 

Autumn was setling in, as well as nostalgia.

As walked with my hands inside the sweater sleeves, I reached an abandoned bridge over a river. It was surrounded by half naked trees and fog.

Against all odds it wasn't creepy. It was kind of confortable, but a bit unsettling. 

I was alone and there wasn't no street lights, noises or cars. Just the moon and the stars to enlighten the quiet street. I sat down at the bridge wall and relax for a moment.

For no reason, I turned my head back and saw Sophia coming slowly towards me. I

" What the actual fuck? She's dead." The reasonable voice in my mind tried to take some action, but failed.

I was seeing her. How's that possible? She died.

My heart almost jumped from my chest, I could not believe in what I was seeing.

CURRENTLY:

- Sophia, how.. you're are dead. - I stated, my voice and body trembling.

" And now we talk and see ghosts too. Great. We aren't crazy at all."  My mind complained.

She didn't say anything. She reached me and sat down in the bridge wall right next to me.

I stared at her in disbelief.

She was wearing the denim shorts, the white top, the braided sandals, everything thats she used on the day she died.

Her hair was straight and brown as always, and her eyes were black as usually.

There was silence between the two of us. Crickets were singing their last summer songs and the older leaves were falling slowly from the trees.

When I deviated my gaze from her, I watched the bright moon, it was bigger than usually and it was full moon so it made the scene more dazzling than I could ever dream in my wildest dreams.

- Are you okay? - she gently asked me

- No. - I could never lie to her. - I killed someone and I don't know how to feel about it. Hell, I don't know how to feel about anything anymore. - I confessed whispering. - And why did you have to die? I was the one who have the idea. It should have been me.

- Don't blame yourself ,it wasn't your fault. - she quietly told me.

- If I had not had the idea to go sailing when the sea was rough while we were in the middle of a storm, you'd still be here with me. - I cried and my voice almost craked.

- You did everything in your power to save me.

- But you died anyway, it wasn't enough. - I sobbed.

- When the boat turned and I fell in the water, you searched for me. When you brought us back to the shore, you tried to save me but I was already dead and it wasn't your fault. I wanted to go. - she was quiet for a minute. - I watched you hit the sand and scream and cry, hoping to somebody to find us and help me. You were so mad because you didn't save me. It was the hardest thing I've ever did, watch you hopeless and seeing the light you had in your eyes fade. - her voice broke a bit saying those words.

- Why didn't you fight harder? I could have save y- you. - the silence fell over us again for a couple minutes, before I broke it again - Then you spend a day laughing with friends, having fun and distracted all the time. And you think you forgot it and everything might be okay again, that you're finally free from the guilt. But when it reaches the end of the night and you are alone in your room, you realize that all the feeling is still there, and that any sign of forgetfulness was merely temporary. That's how feel every night when I go to bed. - I said looking at the river below me, not strong enough to glance at her. -  I need you so much.

I looked in her direction after a while, but she wasn't there anymore. My eyes scanned the place looking for her, but nothing. She was nowhere to be seen.

I'm hallucinating.

Part of me whished I wasn't hallucinating, wanted to believe she was really here with me, alive.

What if I'm going crazy? 

" Well, the first thing to do is to call to a psychiatric hospital, the second, you know...But you aren't crazy." The little voice in my mind stated.

Looking at my hands, I cried even harder. My body was shaking.

Suddendly I heard leaves being stepped on, I looked back and saw Nick with a sandwich in his hand.

- What are you doing here in the middle of the night? - he asked, sitting next to me.

-Nothing.

- I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to hurt you - he told me glancing at my head - are you okay?

- I swear, the next person who asks me if I'm okay is going to take a punch. How did you know I left the house? - I asked cleaning my tears.

-I apologize, love! I heard your little fall in the backyard and when I checked  your room you weren't there, so I thought you might had left.- he stated. - But why were you crying, love? - he asked looking more serious.

- It's nothing, don't worry. How did you found me?

- There was nothing on the street except a figure of a girl, I followed it and turns out it was you. I also figured  you might be hungry so I made a sandwich. - he said giving me the sandwich.

- Thank you. So, did you hear me talking alone?

He looked down.

- Yes, I heard. I didn't mean to. You said you didn't remember what happened that day. - he said glancing back at me.

He noticed I didn't respond.

- It's okay, I understand. You lost your best friend.

-Please stop. - I begged him, with tears forming in my eyes.

He pulled me into a hug, comforting me.

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