Lams oneshots

Roses

(Deppressing content! Skip if you dont want to cry! Also,this is a long oneshot)

Hanhaki disease AU

John's P.O.V.

I sat on the floor crying, flower petals falling out of my mouth. My lungs hurt like hell and I couldn't stop choking up flowers. I hate all of this. I have hanhaki disease, meaning when i love somebody, I cough up blood and flowers. Unfortuanatley I love someone who will never love me back. Alex has been my friend for so many years and I don't have the courage to tell him that I'm in love with him. It would ruin our friendship. I guess I will just be choking up flowers untill it finally kills me. There was a knock on my door. "John, honey are you-" my mom stopped when I started choking again. I started sobbing again. This happened every morning. I always had dreams about Alex and as soon as I woke up, I would run to the bathroom and choke and cough up flowers and blood. I'm surprised I haven't died yet. My mom slowly creaked open the door. Her and my father both know about my feelings for Alex... they are the only ones though. (John's dad isn't homophobic btw) "Oh sweetheart..." she knelt down beside me and rubbed my back. It stopped after about 10 more minutes of agony. "John... this is getting worse... I think it's time..." she whispered as I cried into her shoulder. "Mom I can't... you know that..." I said. I felt more petals rising in my throat. "John this has gone too far your going to die!" She cried. The petals didnt stop. "Its happening again-" I coughed up the petals. This time it was an entire flower, covered in blood. I couldn't breathe untill it came out. "John!" She cried. Another 5 minutes were spent in the bathroom. She was right, it was getting worse, but I couldn't do a thing. I got up like nothing happened and walked out the door.

We all sat at a table in IHOP. Alex asked everyone to come to IHOP, claiming he needed breakfast with everyone. "John, kiss kill or marry?" Laff asked. I put down my orange juice. "What?" I asked. "Out of everyone at this table, who would you kiss, kill, or marry? Go." Be repeated. "What?! Umm kill all of youq1." I said.  Alex snorted and almost spit out his coffee. "What?! Why?!" Herc exclaimed. "Because y'all are annoying." I crossed my arms. They poured. "C'mon, seriously. Kiss, kill, or marry?" Herc insisted. My face flushed. I could feel a lump at the bottom of my lungs. I began to panic. "I don't think that's a good idea." I said quietly. They looked at me confused. "Why?" The lump started to rise. "I'm just not going to answer it." I said nervously. "Awwww why not?" Laff asked. "Guys he said he didn't want to answer, so stop nagging." Alex snapped. Laff and Herc looked guilty. "Sorry, we didn't mean to say anything to hurt you." Her apologized. "It's fine you didn't do anything... It's just a..." I paused. "Sensitive topic." I decided that was the right word. Herc wrapped his arms around Laff's shoulder and gave him a kiss on the cheek. That could be me and Alex. The lump rose again. Shitshitshit. Alex suddenly snaked his arm around my waist. My breath caught in my throat.  Ohnononono. I could feel the petals reach my throat. I started coughing, but nothing came out. The searing pain in my lungs came back. "John are you ok?" I nodded, but the coughing only got worse. Tears pricked in my eyes. I grabbed a napkin and held it over my mouth. I stood up and started towards the bathroom. Blood started to soak through the napkin. "Oh my god John!" Alex must've seen the blood. I ran to the bathroom and the petals started to fall. I coughed up blood and Rose petals. Tears fell, The pain was excruciating. Maybe this time it would kill me. Maybe i could finally get away from the pain, both physically and emotionally. My mouth was covered in blood, and so were my hands. I heard the door open and the frantic stomping of feet. "John are you in here?" It was Alex. I couldn't say anything because i was coughing. He stopped in front of the open stall door I was sitting in. He stopped and stared at me on the ground. He kneeled down in front of me. Now he knows...

"John..." he put his hand on my cheek. I coughed up more petals. It hurt so much. He hugged my neck and started crying, only causing more petals to be choked up. I hugged him back, but the petals just kept coming. "John... who is it?" He asked me. I bit my lip. I broke away from his hug as I coughed up flowers in the trashcan. He held back my hair. I spit out more and more blood. There was more blood than flowers. I knew I couldn't last much longer, and it didnt show signs of stopping. "John Please.... who-who is it...?" He whispered. I cried even more. I started getting dizzy. I had never coughed so much blood up before. When I looked, the entire trashcan was full of blood and flowers. Cherry blossoms. He cried. An entire flower was coming out of my mouth. Everything hurt so much. I didn't realize I was starting to wobble. I felt like I was going to pass out. I fell against the wall. Alex freaked out and was hovering his face over mine. I couldn't understand what he was saying. His hand was on my cheek and tears were streaming down his face. The universe is finally going to give me what I want. It's finally going to kill me. The petals stopped coming up and I stopped coughing. He threw his arms around me and sobbed. I closed my eyes as he cried on my shoulder. "I-Im so sorry."i whispered. Suddenly I lost consciousness.