Lams oneshots

Never Enough

(Trigger warning)

John's P.O.V

I'm trying to hold my breath.

I take a breathe in and let it out slowly.

Let it stay this way.
Can't let this moment end.

Silence.

All is Silent.

No phone calls From Alex.

Or Herc.

Or Laff.

All that stands between me is the chair and the rope.

Getting louder now.
Can you hear it echoing?

My heart races. I can hear my breathing echo through the empty room. Am I really going to do this?

Alex.

Wherever you are, I hope your happy. When you find me, dont cry. I know you will. Dont waste your tears on me.

All I want is silence.

Take my hand.
Will you share this with me?

I can almost imagine Alex standing beside me, holding my hand. He's here. That's all I want. Just stand beside me and let me go.

Just let go.

Breathe.

I step on the chair and put the rope around my neck.

Breathe.

Let go.

Alex calls me. He knows I'm not there. He knows some things wrong. Its him, he always knows when wrong.

I'm running out of time.

I'm scared.

What if I dont die?

What if the rope breaks? What if I dont want this? What if?

Alex is getting closer. His calls are more frequent and now he's texting me.

Tears run down my cheeks.

I cant do it. I cant bring myself to do it.

Alex why do you care so much? Why do I mean so much to you? What is so special about me?

What do I have that you could possibly want me for?

I turn the lights off.

I see a red mustang pull up the street. Its Alex.

I'm out of time.

Its now or never.

Alex. I love you. You weren't too late. Dont blame yourself. I will always be with you, even if I'm no longer part of this world. All of the movie trips, and sleepovers. All the times you threw me into the pool and laughed, all the times you and I played awkward truth or dare. All the times you hugged me, All the times you told me that-that I'm everything to you and-

I'm crying.

My knees are shaking. My heart is pounding. What am I waiting for?

I want to scream. What is stopping me?! I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY CANT I JUST JUMP?! What's stopping me?!

His car is getting closer.

Alex,

I love you.

Take your time.

The last thing I heard was Alex's scream.

"JOHN NO!"

Everything went black