Lams oneshots

My Dearest, Alexander

John's P.O.V.

I may not live to see our glory

I sat at a table on about my 3rd pint of San adams. My heart was slowly breaking more and nore with every minute I was at this wedding. Alexander, the man who stole my heart through the letters he sent me, was getting married to Elizabeth Schuyler. Of course he would marry her, marrying a Schuyler elevates his status sign. My chest was being squeezed by the pain in my heart. Just watching the man i love kiss this woman made me want to throw up. "A toast to the groom!" Angelica was making a toast. I love the Schuylers like, well, sisters... but Eliza stole him from me. The rings on their fingers taunted me, the reflection of the golden bands were glaring at me. That man meant so much to me. Tears boiled in my eyes. Laffayette came up  and put his hand on my back. "Mon ami are you alright?" He asked. I grumbled a yes. "Is it Alexander?" He asked. I went silent. Another crack in my already demolished heart formed. "You think you've got everyone fooled dont you?" He said quietly. "Well not me honey. I've known you too long." I looked at Alexander and Eliza. They look so happy. I hope their satisfied.

But I will gladly join the fight

"That persistent kid has somehow gotten in under the wire." Laff continued. Hot tears like acid rolled down my cheeks. I love him but I will never admit it. Being gay is a sin. I'm a sinner. "Please stop." I begged. The universe was tugging on my heartstrings. Every moment is another moment I've fallen deeper for him, and every minute it hurts more because i know that he will never be mine. I've fallen helpless for you. "And that's what's happened isnt it?" I buried my face in my hands. My inside were being torn from the inside out. "You love him dont you?" My whole world shattered. Everything was black and dead. I'm dead inside. I remember the first time I met him.

And when our children tell our stories

Laffayette, Hercules, and I were all partying around at the bar, messing around with Burr. "Come on Burr! Just a drink?" I whined. Burr just shook his head and continued to read his stupid book. "No. For the last time, I said I don't drink." Burr insisted. I slumped into the chair next to Laffayette and chugged my Sam Adams. Laff nudged my arm and pointed towards the door. I looked at the doorway and my heart went BOOM! I tried to look away, but Alexander stole my heart. I couldn't look away. His long brown was tied back in a low ponytail and his chocolate brown eyes glimmered. My heart was beating fast. "Oh my-" I just stared at Alexander. He looked at me and I swear there was a smile on his lips. He made his way over to us. I frantically tugged on Laffayette's jacket sleeve. Laff looked at me and followed my gaze to the man i had my eyes on since the beginning. He chuckled and stood up, grabbing me out my chair. Alexander walked up to us. I stood there awkwardly fidgeting while the other three were talking to Alexander. Suddenly Laff grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me in the conversation. "And this is John Laurens." He said. "H-hi." I waved awkwardly. "Laurens? What a beautiful name. Alexander Hamilton, my name is Alexander Hamilton." He said. My Heart was going a million miles an hour. He held out his hand and I shook it. I'm looking in your eyes and the sky's the limit. Holy shit his hands are so soft! I'm helpless for this boy.

They'll tell the story of tonight

Tears streamed down my face. Laffayette had left and Alexander was talking to everyone. I felt a hand lay on my shoulder. I lifted my head from my hands to see who it was. "John are you alright?" Alexander asked. I sighed. Those eyes. "Im fine. I-I I just- I have to go." I got out of my chair and left.

Raise a glass to freedom

I found myself on a balcony looking out at the stars. Each tiny white ball reminded me of Alexander's eyes. It hurt too much. I pulled a piece of  parchment out of my pocket. It was a letter from Alexander. I squeezed my eyes shut and let tears roll down my cheeks and splatter into the parchment. "Why does it have to end this way?" I whispered. There was a gun in my hand. I don't know where I got it, but I know what i wanted to do. Alexander will be happy without you. He'll be happy with Eliza. I will never be satisfied. I clenched the letter in my hand as tears ran down my face. I put the gun to my heart.

"Raise a glass to the four of us, tomorrow there'll be more of us."

Bam!

Everything went black.

A faint gunshot could be heard from the wedding guests, but barely any. Nobody payed attention to it, exept for Alexander, Laffayette, and Hercules. Hercules and Laffayette saw the worried look Alexander's face. They walked over to him. "We heard it too." They said. "What was it? It sounded like a gunshot!" Alexander exclaimed. Laffayette noticed John wasn't with them. "Where's John?" He asked. The three looked at each other with a terrified look on their faces. "Shit!" Laffayette ran off with the two following close behind. They came to a closed door to the balcony. He swung the door open. His fears became reality.

Laying on the ground was a lifeless John, holding a gun. Blood flowed from his heart. The three stared in horror and shock and the sight in front of them. John was smiling, fresh tears still wet on his cheeks. Alexander fell to his knees. "Oh my God..." Herc whispered. Herc noticed something in his hand that looked like a piece of parchment. They opened his hand and took the parchment.

My dearest, Laurens

Cold in my professions, warm in my friendships, I wish, my Dear Laurens, it might be in my power, by action rather than words, to convince you that I love you.

Alexander quickly recognized the letter he had written. Tears flowed down his cheeks. At the bottoms of the letter, there was something freshly written. The ink hadn't dried. "What does it say?"

Herc looked down

"My Dearest, Alexander..."

He took a deep breath

"I love you."