Lams oneshots

Sunflowers and Sunshine

(You may want to skip this but I don't want to give away the ending)

Alex's P.O.V

John Laurens.

Whenever he's around, all I can think of is Sunflowers and Sunshine. He is the brightest person I've ever known. He wore bright pastel turtleneck sweaters and had these huge round glasses that he didnt even need, but they looked cute on him anyway. He's been the same for 15 years. His curly tawny hair is always tied up with a ribbon, and his big emerald eyes are always full of energy and curiosity. But thing that makes John, John, is his freckles. His freckles look like a reflection of the cosmos itself. I nicknamed him "little star boy" because of them. He pretends to hate the nickname, but I know he secretly loves it.

John is such an innocent cinnamon roll, it's adorable. He's adorable. His bubbly and energetic personality makes him who he is. He's caring, loving, honestly anything that you could think of. He's also the most talented person you would ever meet. If you tell him to do something, hes probably amazing at it. Its ridiculous how good he is at everything. But with talent, comes deniance. He doesnt believe any of it. No matter how absolutely perfect he is, he will always find a way to little himself. He denies every good thing about him. Not because he doesn't appreciate it, not because he's humble, but because he truly cant see it himself. He doesn't see how talented he is, or how adorable he looks, or how utterly amazing he truly is. All he sees is a failure. It's just who he is. But sometimes, its painful that John doesn't see himself, he sees a disappointment.

Ever since we were little kids, hes always been the same. The little turtle boy. His love for turtles is extreme. He has a little stuffed turtle named Alex. Can you guess why that's his name? When he was 9, I got him the turtle for his birthday. It's so dirty and worn out, but he refuses to give it up. I still remember at every sleepover he always had that stuffie, From 4th grade all the way to 11th grade. How can one thing be so precious to someone?

John never cried. I've never seen John cry. In the 15 years I've known him, I've never seen him cry. John is always smiling. He makes everyone else smile too. He can just walk into a room and everyone in it just breaks out into a grin. His corny jokes bring everyone to the floor from laughing so hard. John isn't the kind of person to be sad all the time, or really sad at all. It's just... not him.

We used to spend a lot of time at the pool. I used to throw him into the pool, but then he would drag me in. It was fun...

But fun never lasts long.

The sunflower... died.

John was found in his bathtub with an empty bottle of pills and a razor in his hand.

When the news spread, I didnt go to school that week.

I dont know why he did it. Nobody does. But... his smiles and jokes I guess were his way of calling for help. Why didnt I see it before. I tried to ignore the fact that I love him. But now its come back to bite me in the ass.

Hes gone.

(This is really short, sorry. But I do have more plans coming up so just stay tuned! -Peter)