Remembrance (Overwatch: Reaper x Reader)

Chapter 5: Still With You

I walked through the halls of Gibraltar. At least I assumed I was. It felt as if I were floating on a cloud, though I was still grounded.

     "(Y/N), where the hell have you been?" That voice...it's so familiar. So comforting to hear, "You missed the meeting. We finally discovered how to find Antonio."

I let out a soft squeak as a firm hand gripped my shoulder. Turning around, I blushed. Commander Reyes stood behind me, his dark amber eyes not quite glaring, but rather staring impatiently.

     "I-I'm sorry, sir." I yanked my shoulder away, biting my lip nervously as I cast my gaze down. "I...f-forgot."

     "Forgot, eh?" Reyes narrowed his eyes, "You're impossible. Absolutely impossible."

     "Wha—? Am not!"

     "Are too," he smirked.

I furrowed my brownand pouted, crossing my arms as a deep blush spread across my face. My skin burned as I avoided his mischievous gaze.

"Mhm," all he did was grunt.

That stupid jerk. That stupid, perfect...handsome- "(Y/N)!" I jumped slightly, startled by his voice. "Are you feeling okay? Do you need to see O'Deorain?"

     "N-no, I was just..." My voice trailed off. I couldn't take my eyes away from him. "Damn it, why'd you have to wear such a tight shirt..."

     "Excuse me?"

     "Nothing!" I blushed even harder, if that was even possible. "Nothing! I'm fine! Perfectly fine, no need for Moira's assistance."

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. He clearly did not believe anything I said. "Right...none of your actions have been suggestive at all, thus far."

I gave him the cheekiest smile possible, "Of course not, Commander!" I lightly punched his shoulder, "Just uh, sorry that uh..." I chuckled nervously, "Sorry I missed the meeting."

     "You've been hanging around that cowboy," Reyes scolded. "Too damn much for my liking."

I clicked my tongue with a loud 'pop'. "Gotta go. I promised Lena I'd help her with her chronal-accelerator."

     "Since when did you tend to electronics?"

     "Since...now?"

Just as I walked past him, I felt his large hand latch onto my wrist. "Commander?" I inhaled sharply as I was suddenly pulled to his chest.

     "You're not so bad, agent."

I hesitated as he gave me a friendly hug, his large hand lightly patting my back. He was so warm. Then something clicked; how was this real? I had already had this conversation with him once before.

But it felt so real. I nuzzled the crook of his arm. He smelled like gunpowder and cologne. I opened my mouth just slightly, allowing soft and staggered breaths to escape. I hugged him even tighter, my trembling fingers gripping onto the soft fabric of his hoodie.

     "Don't go," I rasped painfully. "Please."

My bottom lip quivered as a single tear slipped from my eye and onto his shirt. "Don't...go..." I shut my eyes tightly, balling his clothing in my hands as I pulled him closer to my body.

     "(Y/N), what are you—?"

     "Please, don't go...!"

I let out a pathetic sob. This wasn't fair, it wasn't fair at all. I cursed under my breath, punishing my mind for plaguing me with these memories. Torturing me with these images. But I wanted it to be real. I wanted him to walk into my room and ask me what was wrong. I wanted to hear his voice again.

     "C-Commander..." I struggled to breathe as mucus clogged my nose. I felt so pathetic. "Stay. Don't leave."

I choked on my own words, my entire body beginning to tremble as I struggled to cling onto the last thread of sanity I had left.

     Please don't leave me...you can't.

I wanted him to stay with me. But I knew he couldn't. I miss you...

. . .

I opened my eyes to darkness. My cheek brushed over a wet stain on my pillow, just beneath my eyes. They burned profusely. I sat up slowly, wiping my flushed face.

     "Athena?"

     "Yes, Agent (L/N)?"

     "Turn on the lights, please."

With a soft flicker, the lights above my bed turned on. I turned to a photo on the nightstand. It was kept in a silver frame with an engraving that read 'family', on the bottom. The photo contained four people. On the far left stood a young man with a metal plate covering his nose down, and wires protruding from his head and back. He didn't seem to happy, as his red eyes were narrowed.

In the middle was myself. I stared at the brightness in my (E/C) eyes, and my (H/C) hair which was much longer back then. I looked so happy. Beside me was a cowboy. Behind us stood Commander Reyes, an annoyed scowl draped across his face. Besides him was a tall woman with ginger hair, hidden by a black beret. She looked quite amused by Reyes' expression.

     "Reminiscing, Agent (L/N)?"

I didn't respond. All I could do was nod. That photo had been taken exactly one hour before the heist on Talon's HQ in an attempt to kidnap Antonio.

     "I don't know what happened," I murmured. "That night...he-"

I swallowed hard. I remembered that night very vividly. Reyes had instructed us to kidnap Antonio, but in the end, he shot him straight through the head. That wasn't like him, not at all. Something had to have pissed him off prior. Or someone.

I leaned back on the pillows, covering my face with my hands. "I hate him so much..." I grumbled in agitation.

     "Who?" For an AI, Athena sounded quite concerned.

     "76," I growled, grabbing a pillow and flinging it across the room. "Stupid blondie. He's such an asshole!"

Athena remained quiet as I continued to rant, "The stupid jerk thinks he still owns everything! Like, how the hell can you just rise from the dead and pretend like nothing happened!?"

I didn't even notice I had begun to tremble. "Not to mention he's the cause of all of this!" I clenched my fists, balling the comforter up in my fingers, "The cause of all my pain."

The anger and sorrow must have built up inside, because something seemed to snap inside of me. "I want him dead."

     "(Y/N)!" Athena seemed startled.

     "I want him dead...I want his blood spilled all over the ground," I had begun to clutch the blankets so hard, my knuckles turned white. "I hate that man with every fiber in my bone."

     "You do not mean any of that."

I looked down at the blankets. Did I really mean that? "You must move on, (Y/N). You know he would not want you to dwell on the past."

     "It's all just a mere memory now, isn't it?"

     "Perhaps, but at least you still remember him at all."

     "I guess," I sighed.

I threw my feet over the edge of the bed, slipping them into my sandals before throwing on a robe. I tread over to the other side of a room. Pulling the curtains apart, I stared out the double sliding glass door that looked over the steep mountainside Gibraltar was settled on. 

     Do not cry, (Y/N). Crying, is for the weak.

     "So much of you is left behind," I whispered, pressing my forehead against the glass. "You took my hopes with you, my dreams...my world."

I let my hand slide down the glass, leaving faint fingerprints. "I know that I can't live in this pain, or these feelings of regret."

     "(Y/N), you mustn't blame yourself." Athena said, her usually monotone voice strangely haunting. Then, there was a loud crash downstairs.