Remembrance (Overwatch: Reaper x Reader)

Chapter 20: Sorrowful, Regretful

     "(Y/N), are you...alright?" Angela murmured.

     "I am in good health, if that is what you mean." I couldn't turn around and look her in the eyes, "Y-You...you knew?" My whole world seemed to stop spinning. 

My vision had become hazy, blinded by a black checkerboard splotches. I felt so nauseous, "You knew this whole time?"

     "(Y/N), you must understand..." Angela claspedher hands together, holding them up to her face, "I didn't know how to tell you...I didn't want you—!"

     "To get hurt?" I snapped, "I was already hurt when he died! But he was Reaper...that thing, this whole damn time?"

I yanked my arm away when she tried to reach for me, "(Y/N), please listen to—!" I shoved her away, unthinking.

     "You...knew," I whispered, head down. "Yet you never...told me."

     "(Y/N) please, you must understand." Angela wiped her eyes, "I didn't want you to get hurt."

     "Me? Hurt?" I shook my head, "Mercy! Pain is all I've ever known! It wouldn't have made a difference!"

     "Well, I wanted to change that!"

     "You can't heal everything, Ziegler!" I clenched my teeth, "You had ten years to explain yourself! You had time to...but you...UGH!"

I shoved past her, practically knocking her into a wall and earning a gasp from Lena. "(Y/N), wait!"

I sped down the corridor, flinching each time I heard her heels against the floor. "Please, I was only doing what was best for you!"

     "For me?" I whirled around, "Rethink that statement. Because it seems you did what was best for you, not me!"

     "I just thought--"

     "Yes, Ange, you thought." I wiped the oncoming tears from my eyes, "You make the decisions for yourself, and for me apparently."

She flinched, opening her mouth to speak but made no words. "What's wrong with him?" I hugged myself, struggling to stand as my knees threatened to give way, "Why is he like that?"

She didn't answer. "There's nothing you could have done," Angela breathed, her chapped lips barely moving. "His destruction was not avoidable."

     "Stop!" I jammed my fist against the wall beside me, "Please, stop...!"

What if she was right? "I'll patch him up as best I can, but then he's got to go (Y/N)." I swallowed. What did she just say? 

     "But--?"

     "(Y/N), he's a bad man. He's done very bad things."

     Stop speaking to me like I'm a child! I looked away, I don't care what he's done...

     "So what?" I looked away, "You don't trust him?"

     "Of course I don't!"

     That's funny, because I don't think I can trust you.

     "Are you going to hurt him?"

Angela paused. Her eyes stared into mine, like she was staring into my soul. "W-Well...? Are you?" 

      "No."

     "D-Don't tell Jack," I latched onto her wrists. "He'll..."

     "I didn't plan to," she said flatly. "Unless it comes down to it."

I shook my head, letting go of her and stepping back. "I just want to be ignorant. Why can't we just forget any of this?"

     "It doesn't work that way." 

I trembled, hugging my shoulders as I tried to control my breathing. But I couldn't. I was suffocating, like a hand was squeezing my throat dry. I felt nauseous, and my head felt swollen. 

She cleared her throat before giving me a hard stare. "He's leaving, tonight." I watched her go, rooted to the spot.  

     "You know, you're not the only one who has sorrows and regrets." I hissed, "Stop acting like you're the only one."

I blinked away the tears I hadn't even noticed I shed. I needed to sleep, if not I felt as if I'd faint. Then I remembered. I turned to stare at the body Angela was standing over in my room.

     "Damn it..."

     "Oi, love!" Tracer blinked up behind me, "Did you hear--?"

     "Trust me, I heard the news."

                                                                           .   .   .

I sat at his bedside, staring and waiting. What it was I was waiting for, I don't know. I rested my head in my hands, counting each breath he took with a tap of my foot. Angela manged to patch him up, said he had an hour before she kicked him out herself.

     "I'm sorry," I muttered.

I reached forward, tracing my index finger across his open palm. I didn't dare take off his gloves, Tracer said it'd probably just be bone underneath.  I gasped as it suddenly clamped around mine, his strong grip restricting the circulation in my hand.

I struggled to pull my hand away, blushing as his claws brushed against my skin. Seriously, he's asleep and you're still swooning over him?

I slapped his hand away and cursed under my breath, "You and you're stupid...you know what? Forget it."