New York, New Tomlinson

Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Yesterday, I was a complete wreck. Jules and the lads tried everything they could to cheer me up, but nothing worked. My two best friends died for crying out loud. I didn't expect anything to work. I mostly just stayed in bed yesterday. I didn't know what else to do. I could have visited Nick's family, but I would have broke down the moment I saw them. So I slept, listened to music, and watched the telly in my room at Louis' house. I barley ate either. When I did, it was because Harry or Louis forced me to. I didn't talk much. Only a few head nods or shakes, but that was about it.

I'm slightly better today. I'm still depressed about Nick and Lilly, but my life has to go on. I know they wouldn't want me to tear myself apart over this. So I tried my best not to.

I woke up at around eight o'clock. Reasonable time, I guess. I got out of bed, stretched, and got ready to start the day. I changed out of my night clothes and pulled on a pair of denim shorts and a flowy purple tank top with an infinity symbol on the front. I quickly brushed my hair out and headed downstairs.

I found all of the boys, including the 5SOS lads, and Juliana in the living room once I made it to the bottom of the stairs. They looked at me with worried eyes.

"Are you okay?" asked Jules.

I slightly nodded and shrugged my shoulders at the same time. I didn't want to lie. I'm not sure if I'm okay. I'm better than yesterday, though.

"I'll be fine. Eventually," I said.

Jules nodded before sitting back down next to Luke. He looked at her as if she was a goddess. Something is definitely going on between them. I'm going to find out what it is.

I walked into the kitchen and got myself a bowl out of the cupboard. I pulled out a cereal box as well and dumped some of the sugar coated cereal into my bowl. I turned around to get the milk out of the fridge but someone already took it out for me. I looked up into his green eyes as he stared down at me.

There was silence until he finally said, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"No," I simply said. "I'm not okay. I'm better than yesterday, but I'll never be okay."

Small tears started to roll down my cheeks. Harry pulled me into his chest and hugged me. I didn't want him to let go. I wanted him to hold me until the pain stopped. But we all know, the pain will never stop. This pain might, but then something else will happen to replace that pain. Pain is good in some ways, I guess. Pain is what keeps you alive. It's better to feel pain than to feel nothing at all.

Harry pulled back from me after a good few minutes. I sniffled as I wiped the last few tears away from my cheeks. He looked down at me with his dazzling green eyes. He stopped the tears from under my eyes with his thumbs. He held the sides of my face in his hands as he planted a lingering kiss on my forehead. Then he kissed both of my cheeks and the tip of my nose. He stopped right in front of my face and hesitated. I knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to actually kiss me, but he can't. We both know he can't.

He let go my face and ran his hands through his brown curls. "I'm sorry."

"For what? You didn't do anything wrong," I whispered.

"I just can't take this anymore. I want to be with you. I don't want Luke to be a problem anymore. If you make me wait longer, I think I might lose it. Please, stop being so nice and just break up with him over the phone."

"Harry, I-"

"Please, Ellie. Please."

"I can't. Not yet. Breaking up over the phone would be inconsiderate of me. I can't do that and you know it."